weighty matters - part 1

October 11


2 days back I was cleaning out my cupboard. The amt of stuff which accumulates inside never fails 2 surprise me, every time. Other than clothes, I pulled out crepe paper, empty plastic covers, packets of confiscated chocolates & candies, useless shiny items which caused disagreements between the kids, and a photo album. Whenever I clean the cupboard I most certainly come across atleast 1 photo album & its tradition……to leave the mess all around me & go thru through the album first. As always I never fail to be surprised at how “fat”(ummm…mayb not so fat fat but definitely overweight) I looked a year ago.

All my life (ie. The 1st 25 yrs of my life), people commented how awfully thin I was, I cd stuff myself with anything without putting on even an ounce. My mom found it like a slur against her tht I was so skinny. As the matrimonial talks were going on, the need 2 put on weight was more serious. I was only 42kgs. Well 2 cut it short, nothing worked. Then got married, left Bangalore for Dubai………..a totally different world & lifestyle.

Life in Dubai was like a shock to my system. Only a female fellow bangalorean who shifted to the Middle East will be able to sympathize with my plight. A free spirit who cruised thru the bylanes of Bangalore was shut inside an apartment in the middle of a desert. I don’t think I ever saw direct sunlight (oh yes I forgot I saw it for abt 10 mins whenever I went 2 hang out clothes on the terrace twice a week) Even if I wanted to go out on my own it was not possible coz it was so humid & hot (remember it’s a desert) & I was constantly reminded tht v r in an arab country with values vastly different fr wht v have in our own. To be fair, I have 2 admit tht I was taken out on Thursdays & Fridays nights(weekends) to malls, corniches(sea side), or to a relatives house sometimes.

I had an arranged marriage. So my husband was an unknown entity. But it was clear fr the beginning tht he is a man of few words. He simply doesn’t c the need for idle chat or arguments. Tht much time can b utilized to watch TV, u knw. He loves TV. Ask him to choose btn TV & me & after considerable thought he may choose me but tht doesn’t alter the truth. I knw it & am not bitter abt it. It’s easier to move on in life once u accept the fact.

I don’t think till today my husband really knows wht I went thru shut inside the four walls. He wd leave to office at 7am & b back by 6-7pm. He never stopped me from looking for a job but made it clear tht he did not like the idea of me working. He made his feelings clear prior marriage, so I didn’t press the issue. When I look back now…..tht was my biggest mistake. If I found a job then, he may not have been very pleased but he wd have gotten used 2 it. But tht time I didn’t want to upset a budding relationship at the onset. I sort of idolized him & didn’t want to hurt him in any way. The 1st 6 months were horrible. I missed my family & friends so much……so much. There were times I used hold my hands stretched upwards & cry. Why? Why here? Why me?

Mayb he(i mean my husband, not God......hmmm maybe...) had an inkling of how I felt, he got me a computer with an internet connection. I was now atleast in touch with my family & friends for sometime. It made a big difference & for a while I forgot everything else.

Now the only 1 thing tht I loved abt Dubai was the food. Sumptuous, mouth-watering JUNK FOOD…..so accessible. At home, pizzas were a treat, whereas here it was just a phonecall away. KFC outlets are found within 15 minutes walking distance anywhere in dubai. In Bangalore, arnd the same time(ie 8yrs back) KFC had just started an outlet in Brigade rd(I thk) & I remember there was some major hoopla surrounding the whole issue with farmers staging dharnas & trashing the place or some such thing. And I hated milk all my life coz I never cd tolerate tht “smell” whereas here I instantly took to the cold chocolate milk. And the chocolates……..dont get me started………shelves & shelves of it just stretching endlessly in the hypermarkets. In India, chocolates were somethings guests’ brot when they came home or u got them on ur b’days. Here u just buy & stack it in the fridge. The long & short of it………..i ate a lot of food……..junk food…….and……..gained weight.

I’ll stop here & part 2 will be added after a few days. Its eid hols fr 2morow. So sat & sun shd b off. Monday & Tuesday will b busy with office wrk……so catch u next Thursday(well, wednesdays i do yoga).