weighty matters - part 2

Just kidding abt the yoga……..

I’ll never forget the time when I went on vacation to b’lore after a year of marriage & my sister didn’t recognize me at the airport. My parents had such open-mouthed expressions on their face that I didn’t find it very funny. Afterwards I hrd my sis telling my mom “if chachi(she calls me that…..but why chachi….….search me) can gain weight then there’s hope for all thin people”.

My weight gain situation was not so bad even then…..i actually for the 1st time had some flesh on my bones & looked wholesome(for want of a better word). A yr later I had my 1st child and ……gained more weight……3 yrs later ……had another child……..gained some more weight……..and started looking ungainly. And the paunch……..oooooohhhhh terrible. I used 2 feel sooo…sooo….i don’t knw wht to say…. Let’s just say that I didn’t like looking at myself in the mirror anymore.

I thot some of it will disappear in time. Waited for a year(of course this wait was done without any kind of exercise). The weight faithfully stuck with me & even gained a bit. Then I read an article where it said that women who gained more than 20 kgs weight after marriage were highly susceptible to cancer & a number of other high risk diseases. I didn’t react immediately but it weighed (no pun intended) on my mind.

First step towards achieving my goal happened when my maid quit. Hand of God, i thought. I started doing all the house work by myself & threw myself whole heartedly in2 it. I scrubbed, cleaned, washed, cooked, served, polished, brushed and looked after 2 kids(to be fair my husband & father in law did lend a hand whenever they cud). But I didn’t exercise nor did I curb my eating habits.

A year later………there was good news & bad news. Bad news was tht I didn’t lose a single kg and the good news was tht I didn’t gain either.

Around the same time I was also beginning to feel suffocated…...all woman around me were balancing career & home. I felt sort of inadequate whenever I told people that I was just a housewife. Yeah I knw HOW lucky I was to get the opportunity to sit at home & ALL THT CRAP. I didn’t feel least bit lucky. I felt lacking. Claustrophobic. Desperate. And fat on top of everything. I saw no way out of my predicament.

Whenever I made a shopping list I would look at my handwriting & think how rarely I write by hand. I had a signature which I am very proud of (well…I thk it looks good) but nowhere to sign. I stopped wearing trousers & wore only salwars. At that point, all I wanted in the entire world was a JOB. My secret fantasy used to be………to go to work wearing formals.

In life I always reacted slowly to any situation. Sometimes, even the punch line of a joke (some of them) made sense only 5 mins later. And I realized I could not go on like this any more for ever. Something had to change.

But wht were my options?????????????

Where shd I start? The weather was cooling & heading towards winter & so I decided to start walking for ½ an hr everyday. Walking around my colony took 30-35 mins. The 1st wk was not too good. The shoes pinched, legs ached, body protested. Husband watched quizzically, father in law was amused & kids watched me in interest. But mind resisted. The 2nd week did not get any better……shoes still pinched, husband questioned the need for exercise(coz he thot all the houswrk I did was exercise in itself), kids were asking to go with me(if I took them with me, they wd slow my pace) & I myself was wondering whether it was worth it. But mind resisted. I doggedly pushed myself. By the end of the 3rd week I was able to walk with a rhythm minus the panting. The shoes stretched to accommodate my feet & the kids pointedly ignored me when I started out. And my mind was at peace. In the 2nd month I was completing 1 round around the colony in 20-22 mins and enjoying it.

The good news was…..i was feeling good about the progress & felt fitter than ever but the bad news was tht I did not lose even a single kg. I have 2 add tht I was not following any particular diet. But I did do 1 thing, I started having smaller portions.

Around the same time I approached my husband……..I tentatively asked if I cd start working after my younger daughter joined school the following yr. He didn’t respond immediately but gave the nod later. He asked me to look for something close to home so tht I would not waste time in the traffic. I did not question his change of mind. What if he questioned his mind if I questioned him? Instead it was safer to assume he understood my state of mind & changed accordingly.

I started my job hunt immediately. Though I was not going to join anywhere immediately, I wanted to get the feel of the job market. The classifieds began to take up all my free time. I spruced up my cv & started sending it to all companies who wanted trainers or training assistants or anybody else in that category.

3 months later I was back where I started. Nobody wanted me. I must have sent 100’s of cv’s. I went for a few interviews. But it didn’t go further than tht. Thoroughly dejected, I sat back & thought. And I came to the conclusion I needed a job…..it didn’t matter wht kind. So I edited my cv once again & highlighted my administrative qualities & started the whole process once again.

This time I got more response. But the companies which paid well were in the freezone or further (it takes 3hrs to & fro on a good day). Forget the fact tht my husband was against it, I myself was not interested in commuting tht far everyday. So I started targeting companies whose fax numbers matched my area code. Finally after another 3 months of applications & interviews, one clicked.

It was an interior decoration company. Just 15 minutes away from my apartment. It took 15 minutes by walk or by car (there were 2 BIG traffic signals). I joined in as admin staff.

I won this battle but the battle of the bulge continued……………