Monday, 28 January 2008

Taare Zameen Par once again......

I received this write-up as a forward & thoroughly enjoyed it. So i put it up for u guys as well......
If Aamir Khan Did Not Make Taare Zameen Par:

If you want to know how good Taare is, just go to your nearest theater and watch the people coming out after the show. The cacophony that surrounds a crowd exiting a theater will be missing. Some would be walking in slow motion.Some would look petrified. At least that's what happened in the theater I went to. Not a single soul was talking after the movie, probably because what everyone saw on screen was not fiction, but a semi-biography of his/her own life. In fact, the normally rowdiest gang in a theatre (ie my friends and I) that is uber vocal at the end of a film left the theater in pin drop silence. The first thing we said to each other - 'Aamir Bhai has done it again.'Indeed, Aamir Khan had done it again. I have a gut feeling that Taare would change people like no other movie has previously done.I know only Aamir can make a film like Taare. But let us assume he did not make it (dream on!). What would the film have been like?

If Karan Johar made Taare

Obvious starcast:Shah Rukh Khan as the arts teacher (duh duh duh!!).Aryan Khan as the dyslexic child (even if he could not act for nuts).Rani Mukerjee as the kid's mom (assuming Kajol is unavailable).Abhishek Bachchan as the kid's dad.Amitabh Bachchan as the school principal (who cares if the role is ultra minute, he can afford it).It would be shot in New York to appeal to the NRI audience.The story line would obviously be different. SRK would fall for the dyslexic kid's mom. The last scene would have the mom running to the teacher rather than the kid. And again, like in so many other movies,SRK would get someone else's girl.It would have one dance number.The film would be titled 'Kuch Taare Zameen Par.'

If Sanjay Leela Bhansali made Taare

Obvious starcast: Salman as the teacher.Rani as the mother.Of course the whole film would be shot on elaborate sets. The school would be nothing short of Harvard university.An orchestra would play every time anyone cried.Slow motion, different camera angles for every scene.The school uniforms would match the classroom walls even though that does not make a f***ing difference.The film would cost 60 crores.

If Farah Khan made Taare

Obvious starcast: SRK as the teacher (yawn).In the original Taare, Aamir makes an entry at the interval point. In Farah's version, SRK would be on screen on for 2.30 hrs out of the 2.45 hrs and would be introduced in the first scene itself.The story would be changed to make sure the above happened. The focus of the film would be a teacher who helps a kid fight dyslexia.To make it a complete entertainer, there would be a romantic angle,comedy, and action thrown in. Oh idea!! Nikumbh's character likes another teacher and the kiddo helps him.. throw in some comedy moments there and you have romance and comedy settled. For action..hmm.. lemme see.. oh yah, the kid gets kidnapped and the teacher fights the baddies to save him. Wow!! I'm quite an imaginative writer. I can see how Farah can write a film from scratch in two weeks straight.The film posters would have a big SRK with the tiny image of the kid in the background.

If Rakesh Roshan made Taare

Obvious starcast: Hrithik Roshan as the teacher.Since Rakesh Roshan cannot think beyond science fiction these days,this film would have that too. Instead of dyslexia, the kid would have alienositis or something, a condition induced due to him witnessing an alien abduction.Instead of Nikumbh being an arts teacher, he would be a physics teacher, and instead of asking kids to be creative, he would ask them to challenge the science we know.In the scene where Nikumbh asks the kids to open their minds and make whatever they want outdoors, the kid Ishaan, instead of making a boat, would end up making a working spaceship prototype.Nikumbh would cure the kids problem by making a full fledged version of the kid's prototype, traveling to the alien planet, and asking them to give the kid his powers back.The film would have music by Rajesh Roshan ripped off from some world music.The film's name would again start with a K.. probably 'Kuch Aliens Taaron se Zameen Par'.The director would make sure Hrithik gets to show all his abilities.This would mean a scene with Roshan jr flexing his muscles, and a dance competition in the end, instead of an arts competition.

If Priyadarshan made Taare:

Obvious starcast: Akshay Kumar as the teacher.Paresh Rawal as the kid's dad.It would be a brainless comedy. The kid's dyslexia would be made fun of. Half the times the parents will be running after the kid from one room to the other and that, in the director's opinion, would be funny.The film will be full of sex jokes. So for example, when Akshay would come to the parents telling them that their son has dyslexia, the ignorant father would say something inappropriate like 'iss umar mein? par kaise, woh to hamesha boys school mein padha hai!'. And yes, the director would think it is funny.In the climax of the film all the characters in the film would run around in the amphitheater for no reason, spilling colors on each other. That's where the film will end, without any logical conclusion.And of course, Paresh Rawal would emote like an epileptic himself making us question the boy's mental abilities anyway.

I know there are a lot of other directors, but I choose these guys because I feel they are the most gutless or overrated directors we have today. The reason I am making this comparison at all is to show how Aamir (and Amol Gupte) has made a pure film, without giving into the temptation of masala or 'what would the audience like to see philosophy; for giving chance to fantastic yet unknown actors like Vipin Sharma and Tisca Chopra (I love Tisca); for riding against the tide; for not trying to hog the limelight in the film by happily playing second fiddle to the boy (even Aamir Khan's name comes after Darsheel Sarfi, the boy, in the credits);for giving the audience something different once again as an entertainer;and for truly caring about the society and using the medium to bring a change.I remember earlier this year SRK made a statement: 'films are for entertainment; messages are for post offices.'

Well Aamir Khan has proved that cinema is probably the best medium for giving a message and I can say that looking at the face of every person in the cinema hall. Not only that, he has proved (yet again!) that a message can be entertaining.Behold bollywood bigshots, Aamir the director has arrived. With just one film, he has set the bar higher than most of you can only dream of reaching.

Wednesday, 23 January 2008

Handling with Kid Gloves

I watched “Taare Zameen Par” recently & was overwhelmed with emotions. Many scenes towards the end reduced me to tears but there was 1 scene which cut me to the core. The scene where Aamir Khan talks about Soloman Islands……..
Just a gist of the scene:
Child's Father : My wife has been reading up all about Dyslexia on the Internet. We don’t want you to think that we don’t care about our child.
Teacher(after a moment) : Have u read up on the Solomon Islands on the internet? When the people living there want to clear the forest to build houses they don’t cut them. They just stand around & curse the trees daily. Within a week or two they’ll find the tree beginning to wilt & rot by themselves.

The scene hit me like a sledgehammer. Made me feel guilty. Made me question myself. How many times I have hurriedly pushed the kids aside when they want to tell me something, with “Tell me later, I’m busy now”, “we’ll talk after u finish ur homework”, “please don’t make me lose my temper”, “U first listen to me”…..I cant bear to go on. I see the faces crumpling with disappointment & frustration but it is easier to not acknowledge it.

When my Nikita was born, I never felt the instant bonding or love which most mothers claim. During those days my mother in law was around & so she handled her most of the time. By the time Naina was born my mil had shifted back to kerala & I was on my own. I had to start from scratch but it was worth it. I loved it & gradually realized what ‘bonding’ actually meant.

But I don’t think I’m MOMMY enuff, if u know what I mean. I hate it when they cling to me for no reason. When they get cranky I have no clue how 2 calm them (yes I offer them food, hug them, read a book & all that). But if they are still not pacified then I lose my temper. I also am aware of the fact that I’m not very free with outward affection…like hugging them all the time or encouraging them at every given opportunity. When I am busy with something & they interrupt I give them 2 chances to redeem themselves. After that I reach for the stick. No, I don’t beat very often but I show the stick atleast 4 times a day. And yes I raise my voice a lot.

Talking about voice…. when I talk with them my tone is not exactly ‘soft’. I sort of talk to them like they r adults(this happens especially when I’m angry). My husband never fails to remind me that they r children & we have to treat them accordingly. It’s just that when I get mad with them I just let loose… vocal cords.

In my defense I can only plead that my kids are hyper active & thick as thieves. They know me inside out & take MAXIMUM advantage of my weak points, & think it is their birthright to drive me up the wall. Other kids play with dolls & do coloring but my kids' fav game is "Lets Make Mama Mad".

Don’t mistake me…I love my kids to bits. I do everything(well almost everything) for them & can give up my life for them. But again I don’t think I’m made up of the IDEAL MOMMY stuff. A few simple examples will give u an idea of what I’m going on & on & on about:

Situation: Kids are hungry & so am I
Ideal Mommy: will feed the kids first & then eat.
My Solution: I eat first & then feed the kids.

[in my defense I can only say that they take an hour to eat and I take just 3 mins]

Situation: Child wants mama to play a game with her
Ideal Mommy: will put aside her work & make time for her child
My solution: you finish your homework & I’ll finish my housework & then we’ll play.

Some days I even forget to call home 2 check if the kids r back from school. IMAGINE…….(ofcourse there is somebody at home looking after their needs but still).
The ideal Mommy would have called atleast thrice to ensure her kids welfare

[In my defense: Even if i dont call them they call me atleast 12 times after they come back from school]

Anyways, after watching the movie I resolved to make a few changes within me……to be more gentle while dealing with them, nurture their budding talents, admonish them gently when they r wrong. I mean, its just not enough to bring children into this world, feed, clothe & educate them. Our duty as parents doesn’t end there. We also have to be there to catch them when they fall, instill confidence in them to try again & support them till they are ready for their first flight.

But 2 hrs in my children’s company brought my original nature back to the fore.

I havent given up..........yet.

Sunday, 20 January 2008

New Year’s Toast

Here’s to the new year...
May it bring more joy and success
And less grief and regret.
To our dreams...
May we never stop believing in them
And taking the actions that will make them a reality.
To our friends, loved ones, associates (or colleagues)...
May we take the time to let them know
How much it means to us
To have them in our lives.
Let us encourage more and criticize less,
Give more and need less.
And whenever we can,
Let us create harmony and peace.
To new beginnings...
Let us start fresh, right now,
To make this the very best year ever.
A very Happy New Year to all of us!

By Joanna Fuchs
p.s - sorry my best wishes are late...........i was on vacation.

Cold Act

Naina: why do I have to wear all these thick clothes?

Mama: so that the cold doesn’t get to any part of u.

5 minutes later, Naina comes running up.......

Naina: Mama, mama the cold is still touching me

Mama: Its not possible, I have covered u from head to toe.

Naina: But the cold air is going up my nose.

[Mama throws her hands up and looks for divine intervention. The rest of the family burst out laughing.]