In Muted Tones

Just imagine you are a normal human being.

Whaat???? You are????

Okay then you won’t find it too hard to imagine right???

Like I was saying, everything about you is normal. Maybe you are a little fat or a bit on the thin side but that’s not extraordinary that’s normal. U r dressed normally and nothing in your facial expressions indicates anything is amiss…..the smile is cheerful, u know like totally normal, the quizzical expressions which you give may be a bit more expressive than usual but still that also can be taken as normal. But when it comes to expressing your opinion or your wants in words, you use your hands to convey what you mean or better still whip out a piece of paper & pen to write what you want to say.

People who don’t know about your problem then mentally take a step back[yes you can see them do that if you watch carefully], attention which was half-hearted till then sharpens, they make an obvious effort to hide their curiosity and smile at you kindly. Oh the poor thing!!!! She can’t speak. Wonder if it is a birth defect?? An accident?? So terrible. Let me do whatever I can to ease her misery. My good deed for the day.

And from the back of the queue you are moved to the front. Your work finished in no time. I liked that bit anyway.

That’s what’s been happening in my life. I’m the you in the above scenario.

Remember the flu & other ailments  real and fabricated, I told you I had 2 weeks back. Remember I told you how I hate doctors and hospitals & that I rather swallow a whale than step into a hospital. Well I swallowed big-time. I swallowed my pride. And went to the doc 4 days back and got the required medical attention.

You see I lost my voice. Sometime last week there was a sandstorm in Dubai and I was smack in the middle of it. I guess I inhaled lot of dust that day and the flu which had almost disappeared came back with a vengeance and within 24 hours mY voICe wENt SQUEEEK somethEEEing like ThiSS.

And the next day….KABOOOM the voice was gone. Seriously, I open my mouth and no voice…..no noise…no nothing comes out. All I get for my efforts is a aaaaaah in a fierce whisper. The better-half bundled me off to the doc immediately. I didn’t put up much of a fight actually. "Oh my voice, my lovely voice what happened to you” I panicked.

The doc diagnosed it as “Laryngitis something something” meaning an inflammation causing hoarse voice or at its heights, loss of voice. I’ve mentioned earlier too[yep I love discussing my medical problems on my blog] that whenever I’m sick it’s my throat which gets affected first. During these phases I usually sound like a guy Usha Uthup but this time it went one step further. It rendered me voiceless.

Along with a bagful of antibiotics I was strictly advised by the doc to rest my voice atleast for a week. Nice doc, by the way. Actually cute doc. His wedding band had its wife’s name inscribed on it. And I was like…..awww…shooo cutttte. Beena, her name is Beena:-). 

Feeling a bit more cheerful now I emerge from the med-center with my mind buzzing with ideas.

I send out an SMS out to all my friends...

“Don’t call me, I’ll call you”.

Around 20 calls came in the space of 10 minutes.

Bad idea…….bad bad idea.

Sent out another SMS immediately…

Voice totally gone stop under medication stop 1 wks voice rest stop doctors STRICT orders stop available on email stop.

Atleast 10 of them called to check if it was true. Another 10 wanted to hear how I sounded when I couldn’t speak;-/.

Came back home to a sympathetic better-half and worried kids. The kids who giggled at my squeaky voice the previous day looked really troubled now.

I lapped up all the attention and practised mime.

From there it was dumb charades all the way.

And Pictionary.

And pretending that my vocal cords were connected to my limbs and hence will not be able to cook or do any other work.

That worked only for one day though;-(

Anybody who communicated with me said I reminded them of….

The lady who read news for the hearing impaired on Doordarshan[remember her]

An owl[because I got impatient when they couldn’t decipher my hand signals].

A toy with a run-down battery……squeEEeeek…….SCREeeETCH.

It was a novelty initially. My miming improved dramatically. 

But after 2 days I got tired of it.

My jaws ached because they were stationary.

My head ached because I was thinking so much.

My thoughts which were verbalised on a minute to minute basis were now going izzzzzzzz inside my head & giving me a migraine.  

I no longer could just yell from one corner of the house and get the kids at my elbow in the next minute. 

And for goodness sakes I lost my voice, not my hearing so please leave the miming to me.

For the 1^st time in its life I think my sub-conscious realised it had the upper-hand. It gently prodded me into noticing a few things about myself….

I noticed that I interrupted people while they were speaking to add my two-bits worth. I need to stop doing that. Like immediately.

I didn’t need to answer every question which was put to me and definitely not those which were put to others.

Sometimes a look can convey what a 100 words put together can’t.

And sometimes being not able to talk is not such a bad thing……just for little while though.

My voice…..it’s precious. It’s as important as my arm if not more. When it comes back, it's going to get the respect it deserves. 

Happy Valentine's Day!!!!!

How many of you didn’t give Valentine’s Day much thought and then suddenly got up in the morning and kicked yourselves in the….in the….yes there. I did. The kids came back home from school yesterday & went on & on about Valentines Day. Seems like Valentine’s Day is no longer just about ‘that kind of love’[and I never knew;-o], friendship is also celebrated on Valentine’s Day. So Nikita made friendship bands for her friends & Naina made cards for hers. They also wrangled 2 chocolate bars out of me, lovingly gift-wrapped it, wrote some fancy words on it and took it for their class-teachers.

At first I waggled my eye-brows, then patiently supplied all the material needed for their art&craft,  watched them indulgently as they talked excitedly…….and then it clicked. Ohmigosh it is Valentine’s Day tomorrow!!!!!!!

Even before I started out[in my thoughts] I knew it was too late to do much.

Forget it.
But…but….but…..

I’ll cook something nice.
Good idea but as a last resort....

Make a card….
Been there, done that.....

What can I do…..

I have some chocolate with me………hmmmmm
Yup, I always have chocolate with me….for emergencies u know.

The chocolate…..luckily for me was wrapped in red

And the idea grew from there….

I went all around the house picking up everything red….

A few Plums[again red]

Strawberries[heeeehaw red;-D]

A small bottle of Berry Juice[I’m pretending it’s wine]

Chewing Gum[flavour – wild berries…red, red, red……;-D]

I’m on a roll now…..

*_____*

Fished out a wooden basket from the kid’s toy bin [the original idea was to put them together in a shoe box].

Fixed the broken handle.

Lined the basket with silver foil…..

Arranged all the carefully chosen treasures artistically…

Borrowed a red ribbon from Nikita’s accessories to tie a bow on the handle.

Wrote a note in blue ink[no red pen;-(]

And voila……

The gift is ready.

And I've placed it in such a way it will be the 1st thing my hero sees when he gets up;-D

*__* - While rummaging around I also came across a cute ball of red thread, a small pack of vanilla in a red&white box, lays chilli chips, red apples and a red hair band.Had to omit them otherwise it would have been like overkill.....or shd I include them, tell me quick I still have time;-P

Arigatou

People think I'm this very laid back kind of person……I am I am but what they don't know is that a lot of pressure, anxiety and hard work goes into looking like a laid back person. Yessss, that’s what I am……. a stressed out person trying hard to be laid back.

So the last 2 weeks I was not in a very good frame of mind……was out of sorts….got sick, went all moody and was feeling low generally. I doubt the family even knew because I was okay with them just maybe a little too quiet. The better-half was out of town so he had no clue. The kids were their boisterous selves so there also it went unnoticed.

The blog when I finally got around to giving it some attention got the brunt of it……and out came a post which wavered between unhappiness and mulishness. A little bit of defiance and depreciation thrown in. And oodles of self-pity;-P.

As I hit 'publish' I wondered what you’ll make of the incoherent matter; bits and pieces from here and there just randomly listed out on the post. I could even imagine you guys staring at the blank comment space & thinking ‘uhhh….what kind of a comment do I post to this???’

I’m one of those ‘types’….you know the kinds who runs at the sight of emotions…..all the hugs and kisses & the touchy-feely stuff are soo not me. Even with friends it is only now after all these years that we sort of peck eachothers cheeks when we meet but take a step back quickly…..our friendship is more the backslapping[making sure the recipient lurches forward who then turns & whack a harder one back ] & back-handed compliments kinds. Even when the kids hug me….sure I hug them back but it’s one of those quick fierce hugs where in the next minute you’ll see me disentangling myself to breathe freely.

And so I was saying…...your comments threw me. I don’t know what I expected but never what was written.

Each one of U wrote such beautiful and thoughtful comments. Even though I hung onto the ‘I’m depressed I refuse to be comforted mode’ for a few more days after that, I read and reread every one of your lovely responses and the mails I got.

Just want to say that there’s this warm feeling inside me…..a feeling which refuses to go away. Yep a warm fuzzy feeling which has enveloped me and transformed me back to that laid-back person mentioned above, minus the stress ofcourse:-)).

I want to say more but am always at a loss for words when I need them most.


p.s: @title - means 'Thank You' in Japanese. I have a follower from Japan. He calls himself Uncle Polyglot. I have been patiently waiting for him to comment on my blog for sometime now. In the meanwhile, I'm practicing my Japanese;-D

p.p.s: The correct way to say it is Arigatou gozaimasu but that becomes very formal and our relationship is not like formal is it. So thats why only Arigatou....alright, alright I'll quit showing off;-/

Reading the signs....

It’s been 2 weeks now since I blogged….like seriously blogged[last week’s post doesn’t count…well how can a post which says I don’t have anything to post count as a proper post].

A few things are bothering me……but I can’t quite put my finger on it, just stuff niggling at me from the side-lines.

# 2 days back somebody unfollowed me…..I had 163 followers and dhadaaam right in front of my eyes it went minus one….162 followers….it was like a sign….an ominous sign. And nowadays all I see around me are signs, I take these things very seriously u know;-(.

# Blogger comes up with the one-to-one response thread in the comment section*finallllly*. Was I happy or what…..I have been repeatedly hounding them for this feature since 2004…oh alright 2008. Now it’s finally here but just look at my luck….I am not able to use the feature. Why……because it doesn’t work for me;-(. When I click ‘Reply’ it just stays there on the same page. When I click the delete button[which is just next to the reply button] that works like in 2 seconds but my reply button doesnt . Bwwwaaaah I’m so unhappy:-(((((

# My right eye is flickering badly for the past 4 days. 1st three days I managed to ignore it but now the heart has slowly started to thud heavily. I vaguely remember my mother referring to the eye flickering as baaaad news coming our way. I can’t stop thinking about it. The thing is I don’t know which eye is the bad news giver. But I’m afraid to ask coz if I ask then its confirmed and then it will be like a sure sign. I rather to stew in the agony than confirm the fact. I can see you shaking ur head, just wait….just you wait till your eye goes winkety-wink on u for 3 days continuously. Even you the sceptic will get the heebie-jeebies;-/.

# Nikita surpassed herself in these recent tests…..every single paper was done really well & all the marks reflected it. She & I were really pleased until we got the Hindi marks yesterday. She barely managed to scrape thru. All our grand dreams of her getting atleast the 2nd rank[if not the 1st] just withered into a crumpled heap right before our eyes. My little girl was soo disappointed. I hadn’t the heart to say anything…..just hugged her & hid my tears.

# The morning walks I grandly showed off about have come to a full stop. I caught a bad cold last week & didn’t dare to step out after that[‘the early morning chill is very dangerous’ everybody advised me]. And so I stopped. I rather put on weight than go to the doctor & get treated. I’ll sniffle, sneeze and cough than step into the med centre.

# My dad & I are at loggerheads…again. The fact that I’m his favourite daughter doesn’t figure anywhere in the equation at times like these. Earlier I was quick to react but now I hate to argue, to upset him even though I’m convinced I’m right. I can even prove it but do not want to hurt his pride. So I restrain myself and fervently hope his way of thinking doesn’t cause any lasting damage.

# We were 8 friends in college. By the end of 3 yrs of degree it shrunk to 5. And now we are just 4. Manju passed away a few years back. I don’t remember the exact date of her death anniversary but can never forget her birthday. Her birthday was day before yesterday. I wondered if I should call the others and remind them but decided against it finally. But by the end of the day we all connected and reminisced. Even today I can’t believe she is not around. Sometime last year I was sitting in this dark theatre with everybody and she walked in halfway and accused us of leaving her behind. I remember hugging her & saying “Manju you are alive, just let me get my hands on that idiot who told us……” and I stopped. How could I tell her we thought she died. How could we have believed that so easily. I woke up and cried so much.

# I attend church regularly…..but lately I’ve been questioning a few things. Don’t mistake me, church is good….we gather together to pray and in the process make sure our children grow up watching us, understand the beliefs which keep us all together. But the more I get involved there the more I realise that Church comes first, God figures somewhere down in their list.
The Sunday School teaches the kids about Church and its figureheads even before teaching them about the Word of God. Educating them about church history is fine but teaching them about the Almighty should come first, right. One of these days I’m going to tackle the Headmaster upfront.

I’m soo weird aren't I. All these days I’ve been moping around muttering to myself that I can’t think of a thing to post. One person unfollowed me and it was like the proverbial straw which broke the camel’s back. Signing off for now....

Nothing much...

I don’t have anything in particular to say. Life is going on the same as usual….tests, projects, church, hectic weekends, birthdays, DSF…u know, the usual stuff.


……


……


……


….


Seriously, that’s all there was.

Leaving you with a very valuable tip on how to get rid of houseflies...


Naina is a genius, isn't she;-D



I've been awarded a Tag:-))

Deeps thinks I’m this very resourceful, adaptable, nifty, useful, flexible kind of blogger. What other reason could be there for her to award me “The Versatile Blogger" award;-D.
Thanks Deeps, love my award & am going to put it up immediately. There is also a tag attached to this award called the random tag. I’m supposing the ‘random’ has been added deliberately to show how ‘versatile’ one can get in a single post;-P. Anyways here goes….

The rules of this tag:

 Add the Versatile Blogger Award picture to your Blog Post
 Thank the Blogger who nominated you
 Share 7 Random things about yourself
 Nominate 15 fellow Bloggers
 Inform the Bloggers of their nomination

I always thought almost all the posts on my blog are kinda random but now I’ve got a hepper word for it.....Versatile........I’m a Versatile Bloggah...….haahhh.

Alright let me get randomer than usual…..

First things first….

Update on the chess learning: I already told u about beating Naina but guess what, last week I also managed to win against Nikita. And it was a convincing win!!!! But now nobody wants to play chess with me anymore;-(. Nope haven’t mustered enough confidence to challenge the better-half yet;-P.
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In the inside is a cycling track

I found a park, quite close to where I live, which has a good walking track. It shows us how many metres we have covered and I just love that….as of now I’m covering around 1.5kms in 30 mins…everyday…..cool huh.
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Just realised, shdn't have clicked it against a white bckgrnd

One of Nikita’s classmate's father had to be rushed to India for an emergency surgery in December. The child missed almost a month of school. When her mother worried about the notes I got her to send across some of the child’s notebooks with Nikita. Whenever I had a bit of free time I would update all the books. When the child came back she[and mother] were thrilled to see her books……. all completed. She got Nikita some knick-knacks from India and one among them was this cute little keychain of a zoozoo. And her father is fine now and well on the road to recovery:-). ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++


Can't wait to try out some of the recipes:-))

The Gulf News[newspaper] has this Magazine called Friday which we get every friday[duhhhh…]. It has 2 competitions in which I faithfully take part every week: the crossword and a quiz on Books & their Authors. Every once in a while I win a Dhs.100 voucher[from the quiz] to spend in any Jashanmal Bookstore. I usually get books for the kids with the voucher but this time I picked up a book I had been eyeing for a long time. The kids were not very pleased;-D.
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Barun Sobti as Arnav Singh Raizada

I’m going to tell u a secret now….. I have fallen hard for a fictional character called Arnav Singh Raizada. I chanced upon him in this show called Iss Pyaar Ko Kya Naam Doon on Star Plus when I went home to India last August. In real life I would probably run a mile away from him; ASR treats the female protagonist with scant respect. He mocks her at every opportunity and manhandles her all the time. His excuse: he has a PAST. He stares, glares, smirks, ….at her and does everything a hero of a show shouldn’t. But one small smile from him and I’m ready to tolerate another 30 episodes of the same nonsense;-(.
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The Virgin MegaStore

Went to one of our favourite booknooks one weekend & I noticed they had changed their layout a bit. I was looking around trying to get my bearings when I saw some books piled up on the floor. The book on the top had a very interesting title “Books for sitting”. How very novel, I thought & tried to open it. I tugged and tugged thinking it was stuck. I know, I know I can be so dim sometimes;-/.
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I spent 15 minutes trying to make this pic vertical;-(

The shopping festival is going on full swing. Visited the Global village last weekend. We did the usual rounds and guess what I picked up amongst other things….a trolley shopping bag from the Chinese Pavilion. I've seen so many people on the Metro with these trolleys and kept thinking it would be very convenient for times when I went shopping for groceries alone. So now I don’t have to wait for taxis anymore, simply load my trolley[it can carry upto 40kgs....just saying;-D] and get back home on the Metro itself.

Phewww…….and that’s it….7 random things about me.

Now I would like to award and tag...…

Amrita

An Open Book

Anita Jeyan Sandeep

Destination Infinity

Horizon

Jyothi

Lan

Limenlemons

Lostworld

Nilu

Snow

Swaram

Tharani

Uma

Vaidegi j

The Backward Pawn

Nobody around me knew how to play chess when I was small. My parents didn’t know nor did my friends. Atleast I think my friends' didn’t because if they knew, you can be sure that I would have learnt it by default;-D. That’s how I learnt to play most of the games like scrabble, carroms, chinese checkers, Uno, bluff, roller-skating, riding a geared bike….I can go on.

What????

Oh please Snakes & ladders & ludo were kids stuff. Even now I mentioned it only because you asked;-/.

And whatever I knew I was quick to teach my kids. So they knew how to play Carroms, Chinese checkers, Scrabble, Uno…no, not bluff[ I havent introduced them to playing cards yet], before they even knew how to read.

Alright alright Scrabble came after they learnt how to read.

Gosh u guys nit-pick so much;-S.

Now chess is the one game I never learnt but heard lots about.….

Not everybody can play Chess….
You need to be good at maths to play chess....
People who play chess are very intelligent...
Chess has to be learnt young….
Eating lots of okra helped chess players….

If I tax my memory some I’ll definitely recall more useless information. But as a child & even in my teens I swallowed all these stories verbatim.

When I was in my 20’s one or two people offered to teach me seeing my interest but I shrank back from…..I don’t really know what. One reason could be that I thought it was too complicated and the person teaching me will think that I’m a fool. I had also convinced myself that it was too late to learn.

Vishwanathan Anand was a genius in my book. I never missed any article about him in the sports section. Much of the jargon on chess would have gone over my head but I still read every word on him. Chess was not like cricket or football. It was about mind games….. and Vishwanathan Anand battled against the BEST in the world and came out tops. In my mind he seemed invincible....one of the few celebrities I idolised.
Oh for goodness sakes, let’s just leave Salman Khan out of this conversation shall we. Sometimes I wonder why I tell u guys all my secrets;-/.

During the shopping festival here, some malls put rows and rows of chess boards for people to play. No prizes offered just pure entertainment for the players and the crowd. I would have no clue what was going on but I’d stand there and watch. The facial expressions of the players, the tension in the air, their fingers deliberating over the next move, everything fascinated me.


The kids playing on a life-size board

And then there are these life-sized chess boards which are put on the pavements…..mostly monopolized by little children who play the game with their companions or parents. It is heart-warming to watch little geniuses carefully considering their next move & then manfully dragging the huge pieces across the board.

The better-half taught the kids how to play the game 2 years back. I was so thrilled when they grasped the nuances of the game & began playing on their own. But soon was disappointed because they didn’t really concentrate; they played but often abandoned the game over flimsy reasons. And because I didn’t know how to play I couldn’t guide them or judge who the offender was.
The tragedy was that unlike the other games they never took the chess board out on their own to play; I had to coax and cajole them into it and they played like they were doing me a major favour;-(. Naina especially was so irritating. I would often hear her ‘Chechi look, you can kill me if you do this’. Even though I didn’t know chess I definitely knew Naina was not going to win matches if she was showing people how to score over her. After sometime I too lost interest and the chess-board was carefully packed back into its cover & stowed away.

Recently the kids went to a birthday party & Nikita won a chess set as 1st prize for some game they had played. Interest in chess returned tenfold and they spent a lot of time setting up the board and walking around the house with it. My elation dipped when realisation dawned. You see it was a magnetic chess board. They walked round and round the house with the board & its pieces facing downwards to the ground basically to test the magnetic pull between the board & the pieces;-/.

When they were finally convinced that the pieces were not going to crash to the ground they settled down to play. Their father helped them renew their memories and skill and soon they were playing with a lot more interest than what they showed last year.

“You don’t know how to play chess????” queries Naina incredulously recently when I tell her why I can’t play with her.

I shake my head mournfully.

“I’ll teach you mama” says Naina excitedly.

“Not now Naina maybe someother day, go play with chechi now” I reply absent-mindedly, my mind occupied with mundane matters.

But Naina had made up her mind she was going to teach me. She followed me all around the house with the chess-board and went on and on about the game.

I admitted defeat after sometime and sat down to let her teach me. I had to get her off my back somehow. As soon as we started Nikita appeared on the scene and competed with Naina to teach me. They then proceeded to argue, debate, shout eachother down while each tried to educate me about how chess should be played. I held my head in despair and tried to think clearly thru the din. My 1st instinct was to walk away but I knew the kids would be so disappointed. And I always wanted to learn how to play didn't I??
I finally restored calm & issued a direct order that both were not to open their mouths until I asked them to. I then asked all the questions to each of them in turns.

2 hours and 3 games later I was beginning to see the light. I was royally beaten by both of them but I got the hang of how the game worked. The very next day I beat Naina and felt like a world champion. I haven’t been able to beat Nikita yet though I scared her once or twice [yes she’s good at it but I could be biased;-D].

Honestly I was taken aback at how easily I took to it……all my life I thought that chess was some complicated labyrinth which required super powers to understand. At the ripe old age of 38 I finally learnt to play Chess.

It was all in my mind….the mental block which made me think I'm a dimwit who would not be able to grasp the rules even if somebody taught me. I’m so glad my little one bullied me into learning it. Though I pretend to be very reluctant about playing[reverse psychology…… to get the kids more interested in the game;-)] I am hooked.

Things I don’t understand I clarify with the better-half. I haven’t played a game with him yet. But one day I will. In the meantime I’m secretly practicing my moves to knock his socks off.

Oh get your mind out of the gutter people, I was talking about my chess moves;-D.

Are there any valuable tips you want to leave for this blog friend and chess enthusiast??? I need all the help I can get. I’d also love to hear about your experiences with chess.

Edited to ask: Just suppose I am at a point where I have to give up either my Bishop or the Rook, which one should I sacrifice: the Bishop or the Rook???

My New Year Resolution...

&

to learn to play Chess:-)

[click image to enlarge]

Just thinking.....

It’s back again!!!!!!

The end of the year I mean. It keeps coming back with monotonous regularity and too fast for my liking but I have never complained….till recently ie. Infact I have always looked ahead and ushered the new year in with a lot of fanfare. Then it was exciting and there were lots of possibilities. But now it sort of…I mean the end of the year depresses me when I think about it.

Years are just flying past. And I’m not so sure I like it.

Actually I don’t. Not one bit.

Stop. Slow down. What’s the big hurry dammit????

I really don’t know why I’m panicking. I’m so afraid time is running out on me, afraid that I’ll die without achieving anything. Accomplishing nothing. Achievements & accomplishments not measured in terms of a good job, position or status, more like a need within me to give back to Society what I have received. To make a difference. To feel worthy. To satisfy a hunger clawing at my insides….like it’s something I need to do.

It gets a 100 times worse when I think about it at night. Especially when I can’t sleep. Every fear is magnified and the darkness makes me feel like I’m all alone even though my loved ones are all around me. But well….they are sleeping.

Daylight brings with it a clarity wherein I console myself there is time. Lots of time. Like decades and decades stretching ahead of me to do whatever I want to. Why, take my mother who is in her 60’s……. she’s so in her element now. Almost half of her life she stayed home & took care of her family. I used to wonder secretly how she could be so content to play homemaker when she could have put her teaching degree to good use. But she says she never regretted it and just look at her now, always busy with her church meetings, conferences, voluntary work and her friends, not to forget her determination to stay in shape. I’m just so in awe of her. I hope to be atleast half of what she is when I reach that age.

Most of the time I’m content with what I have. I know that compared to many others I’m so blessed. But there is this niggling thought which refuses to go away. A thought that reminds me that I’m capable of much more and am probably wasting away the best years of my life. Alright there are no regrets when I look at it from the point of view of a mother; I’m so glad I have the choice of being a hands-on mother. I have no lofty ideals for my children; if they grow up to be grounded beings with their heart in the right place I’d consider it a job well-done.

In a couple of years I’ll be four zero. That’s like half my life over. And nothing to show for it.

Atleast that’s what it feels like.

….
….

Then again I pause to think….

Why can’t I be satisfied with what I have????

Why I am not able to convince myself that to reach out for more is not a crime???

Am I looking at the whole picture or missing out on important details???

Why do thoughts have to be so conflicting???

Wishing U All....

A Merry Christmas:-))