Wednesday, 8 February 2012

Reading the signs....

It’s been 2 weeks now since I blogged….like seriously blogged[last week’s post doesn’t count…well how can a post which says I don’t have anything to post count as a proper post].

A few things are bothering me……but I can’t quite put my finger on it, just stuff niggling at me from the side-lines.

# 2 days back somebody unfollowed me…..I had 163 followers and dhadaaam right in front of my eyes it went minus one….162 followers….it was like a sign….an ominous sign. And nowadays all I see around me are signs, I take these things very seriously u know;-(.

# Blogger comes up with the one-to-one response thread in the comment section*finallllly*. Was I happy or what…..I have been repeatedly hounding them for this feature since 2004…oh alright 2008. Now it’s finally here but just look at my luck….I am not able to use the feature. Why……because it doesn’t work for me;-(. When I click ‘Reply’ it just stays there on the same page. When I click the delete button[which is just next to the reply button] that works like in 2 seconds but my reply button doesnt . Bwwwaaaah I’m so unhappy:-(((((

# My right eye is flickering badly for the past 4 days. 1st three days I managed to ignore it but now the heart has slowly started to thud heavily. I vaguely remember my mother referring to the eye flickering as baaaad news coming our way. I can’t stop thinking about it. The thing is I don’t know which eye is the bad news giver. But I’m afraid to ask coz if I ask then its confirmed and then it will be like a sure sign. I rather to stew in the agony than confirm the fact. I can see you shaking ur head, just wait….just you wait till your eye goes winkety-wink on u for 3 days continuously. Even you the sceptic will get the heebie-jeebies;-/.

# Nikita surpassed herself in these recent tests…..every single paper was done really well & all the marks reflected it. She & I were really pleased until we got the Hindi marks yesterday. She barely managed to scrape thru. All our grand dreams of her getting atleast the 2nd rank[if not the 1st] just withered into a crumpled heap right before our eyes. My little girl was soo disappointed. I hadn’t the heart to say anything…..just hugged her & hid my tears.

# The morning walks I grandly showed off about have come to a full stop. I caught a bad cold last week & didn’t dare to step out after that[‘the early morning chill is very dangerous’ everybody advised me]. And so I stopped. I rather put on weight than go to the doctor & get treated. I’ll sniffle, sneeze and cough than step into the med centre.

# My dad & I are at loggerheads…again. The fact that I’m his favourite daughter doesn’t figure anywhere in the equation at times like these. Earlier I was quick to react but now I hate to argue, to upset him even though I’m convinced I’m right. I can even prove it but do not want to hurt his pride. So I restrain myself and fervently hope his way of thinking doesn’t cause any lasting damage.

# We were 8 friends in college. By the end of 3 yrs of degree it shrunk to 5. And now we are just 4. Manju passed away a few years back. I don’t remember the exact date of her death anniversary but can never forget her birthday. Her birthday was day before yesterday. I wondered if I should call the others and remind them but decided against it finally. But by the end of the day we all connected and reminisced. Even today I can’t believe she is not around. Sometime last year I was sitting in this dark theatre with everybody and she walked in halfway and accused us of leaving her behind. I remember hugging her & saying “Manju you are alive, just let me get my hands on that idiot who told us……” and I stopped. How could I tell her we thought she died. How could we have believed that so easily. I woke up and cried so much.

# I attend church regularly…..but lately I’ve been questioning a few things. Don’t mistake me, church is good….we gather together to pray and in the process make sure our children grow up watching us, understand the beliefs which keep us all together. But the more I get involved there the more I realise that Church comes first, God figures somewhere down in their list.
The Sunday School teaches the kids about Church and its figureheads even before teaching them about the Word of God. Educating them about church history is fine but teaching them about the Almighty should come first, right. One of these days I’m going to tackle the Headmaster upfront.

I’m soo weird aren't I. All these days I’ve been moping around muttering to myself that I can’t think of a thing to post. One person unfollowed me and it was like the proverbial straw which broke the camel’s back. Signing off for now....

47 comments:

  1. :(:(:( It is not nice to see you depressed... your post shows you are not in good spirits...

    I think you should try upgrading your browser to the latest version to see whether the Reply button works in that case.

    Nikita has done well in all other papers, rt? Next time, she will do well in Hindi too... You are such an adorable mom to have hugged her instead of terrifying the child by losing your temper(Hugs to you)

    It is sad to hear dear friends passing away...but then, we have to get on with life, na? Also, you could consider visiting Manju's immediate dear ones(like her parents). Believe me, they will also feel happy and you will feel really consoled.

    You are definitely not weird...All these things happen to everybody....just a bad phase..
    Cheer up Nancy!!! Everything will be alright soon :-)

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  2. Oh I do not see the reply button on my blog :(
    Even I never ever remember which eye is for what. But mom says, its mostly due to an upset tummy, so you may try soothing your tummy somehow. Might be the cold which has caused some side reaction there :)

    Good for the proverbial straw which brought forth such an amazing post :)

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  3. As Tan says, it isn't good to see u depressed!! Am not used to seeing this side of you, but I know there are days and then there are days!

    Hope all your troubles go away :)

    And try changing the template, that might help.

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  4. Well about the eye thing. May be the bad news that came was that a person unfollowed you. And thats why the eye is flickering. Manassilayoo???
    Dont worry everything will be fine. This weather makes people grumble a lot... I am in the same boat as u ! And sorry about your friend. You must have been shattered. Time heals.

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  5. Ah...the ebbs and flows of life...I feel like this at times too. This too shall pass:) Hugs!

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  6. Everything will be fine Nancy. Some weeks are better than others, you win some you lose some.

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    1. I am testing your reply button.

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    2. Seems to be working...

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    3. Yup, me too testing testing.... Nance no no your blogger is snot sinking woman!! you don't need that life jacket.....sniff!

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    4. And now its working for me as well;-D. It was not bloggers fault at all, it was my IE

      Blogger is the best, blogger is the best...hehahahaha....

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  7. For a long time, I had one follower in a blogger blog of mine. That follower was my wordpress blog! :P See, somethings are better for you, than what you thought :D

    Destination Infinity

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  8. Awwwww......thank U for the lovely comment Tan. Upgrading the browser sounds like something which should work. Hopefully it will & cheer me up;-).
    @visiting Manju's parents....something I've been feeling very guilty about. I have already decided to visit them the next time I go to India:-).

    Those reply buttons dont just happen on the blog Amrita....we have to mess around with the setting to acheive the feat;-P. I'll mail u the link with the instructions.

    Change the template;-o.....hai re nand kisore;-o...thats like asking me to sing on stage Smita....impossible;-o. My template & I have this gehri & atoot rishta which cannot be broken.
    Not used to seeing this side of me eh....I'm surprised myself at what all one can reveal if they just let their fingers do the talking:-)).

    Anita I'd love to believe ur reasoning but...but the follower did the dastardly act 2 days back & my eye is still tic-ticing very actively;-(.
    @my friend...those were dark days, it was so difficult to believe tht a friend our age and so close was never going to be amongst us again.

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  9. Thanks Kala:-))!!!!!

    Thanks Agnes!!!!
    Abt the reply button....u have to hear this to believe it.....the #$%@ reply button works for everybody else except me;-(((((((((((((. If I access the blog from the iphone it works there too but not from my laptop;-(((((((((((((((((((((((((.

    Hahahahaaaa.....DI u are hilarious!!!!!
    Thanks so much for the laughs;-D!!!!!

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    Replies
    1. Are you using explorer? It's working for me in safari as well as firefox.

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    2. Not any more;-D.....downloaded Chrome 2 hrs back and guess back.....;-D

      BUAHAHAHAHAAAAAA.......;-D

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  10. someone unfollowed me too...a long while ago..made me very unhappy..
    please use a new template, maybe the problem will sort out
    don't read too much into the eye throb part..i do tend to get the jeebies, though..:-)
    losing someone close is tough..i used to get such dreams when my grandpa passed away..
    *hugs* Nancy..you'll be fine..

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  11. Thank U so much for the comforting words Uma:-))!!!

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  12. I was also happy to see that they had the reply button- It seems to be working for you- as it shows your reply under each comment.

    Your posts always make me smile (or laugh out loud) even when you are 'trying' to be depressed ;)

    As far as the point about church- I totally agree about them needing to teach more about God's Word than about the church and that sort of thing!! HELLO? that would be like going to a cooking class and being taught about the CLASS rather than about food and how to cook it!! TELL YOUR PASTOR THAT! :) (and tell him a busy body pastor's wife told you to say that) :)

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  13. I like that thing about the church.
    Question marks every where, and a s we grow up the outlook on the church, the sunday school, everything slowly changes.....

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  14. Connie: "Your posts always make me smile (or laugh out loud) even when you are 'trying' to be depressed ;)"

    I'm trying to drum up righteous indignation against the sentence above but feeling too lazy right now;-D.
    Hmmmm....trying to tell the church our viewpoint is like trying to climb Mt. Everest in winter. Like impossible. But the sunday headmaster is going to hear a piece of my mind one of these days;-).

    Haddock: The way I see it is that as we grow up our Faith starts to strengthen & thats when we start questioning:-)).

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  15. you know what... people have been unfollowing my personal blog left right and centre...and i feel sad for exactly mmm 5 minutes??? but then its my fault, i don give them reason to follow an almost dormant blog. I keep telling myself i will get back 2 it and i hope like mad I will :)
    that was a nice read..loved it

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    1. ha ha... teme about it 'open book' :D

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  16. Very nice read... and yes, please do post regularly. You are one of the very first bloggers I started reading back in 2008 (I guess??). And, I really really want you to keep writing...
    Felt very sad after reading about your friend Manju... Reminded me of a school friend who died really young:-(
    Anyways, will look forward to reading you frequently :-)

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    1. yes chech... same here... have stopped following all others :-D ha ha..!

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  17. Hmm someone unfollowed you? well you are not even one of those nasty commenters (pointing finger at myself) or someone who writes posts which makes the reader feel like she/he has never ever done anything in life compared to you ;) Then, who the bloody hell had the nerve to stop reading your blog?? Me thinks it's someone who fractured their humor bone permanently :( :(

    Are, come on people don't even bother to read what I write be it on my blog or on theirs where I comment...guess almost everyone is fed up of me :( gee...see see your bad mood is rubbing off on me!!! Now snap out of it and make us all laugh...will you?? pee----lee---see! :)

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  18. Ohh a post that started cheerily but turned wistful. Hey relax - I am herebey creating 432 different IDs and starting to follow you in all of them !

    By the way, I have now learnt that the opposite of Buhahahaha is Bwwwaaaah :)

    Hey - no more Bwwwaaaahing ; give us all a hearty Buhahahaha

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    1. Ha ha... ramesh... u r jus hilarious :-P :-D

      Re. the bwaaah, yeah, i noticed it too :P

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  19. woe to the one who unfollowed you nance!! i do hope this phase will pass for you. as for the fued with dad i believe you are doing the right thing because children are the ones left to regret unless it affects his health..congrats to nikita. hindi was my achilles heel too so hang in there:-) don;t worry about church, after all it was made by humans for humans. you have understood the essential need for its presence in your life. the simple message and its humble origins must be enough for your basic spiritual needs? hope that you are back to your happy self by the time you read this. and i do consider any kind of post from you as a bona fide post.

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  20. first things first - yes, i also think u shd change the template, but let me warn you its one hellava job :D you might wanna pull some hair out if you choose the wrong template :P

    Re. Hindi - that's okay check. Next time is always there n am sure your gal is gonu rock. Melted when you said you hugged - that's the best thing that you could have done then :)

    Re. church - well, i dono how that works, but thats why me n most of my frens call ourselves spiritual than religious, if you know what i mean ;)

    I dono who in the world would want to unfollow you, so i think that person's account got hacked, and as he/she couldn't retrieve it properly, they deleted it. see the count is back to 163 now, that person would have created a new account just to follow you ;)

    Dad-gurl tug of war - i soo know what you mean :P hugs on that chech! don't worry :) He w'l tak care, dont u think ;)

    Losing best fren can HURT a lot... hugs to u chech... n yes, i also think u shd meet her family sometime. They would be happy am sure, and so will you be, and so will Manju :)

    n for the eye flickering - try using pears :D

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  21. An Open Book: Hah nice try, if I didnt know the whole story I'd have almost felt sorry for u.
    U have very conveniently left out the fact tht u r a celebrity food blogger who has like 500 followers on that blog;-/.

    Laila: U started reading me in 2008;-o???? And starting commenting only in 2011;-((((((((. Wait till I get my hands on you;-//////////

    Sakshi: Thats what even I'm saying....I'm this shweet little, poor little, nice blogga minding my own business and still people are unfollowing me...bwwwwwaaaaaah;-(((((((((

    Ramesh: Show me the 4321 ID's first...only then buhahahahaaaaa, till then only Bwwwaaawaaawaah;-(((((((

    Lan: after 10 minutes of scrutinising the comment carefully How do u know to say just the right things;-(????? I'm now so overwhelmed with emotions....bwahahahaaaaa;-((((((

    Sulo: BWWAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAA;-(((((((((((((((

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  22. Yaar Nancy, could you please share the secret of 'art of having 163 followers' Don't worry about the one who un followed. It is his or her loss.

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  23. its so endearing when you sound so serious.
    i have those moments too you know..when you just feel it in the air that something not-so-good is going to happen. but i now just put it down for my need for drama. everytime there is a lull i think just to please my soul i hyperventilate a little about 'something'! or maybe i am truly psychic. u never know!

    im sorry about ur friend. it sucks.... ive lost a few over the years and i always feel that we are too young to start losing friends like this already! it kinda made us appreciate other friends more.

    phew.
    had so many more thoughts in response to your other thoughts....they flew away!

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  24. Yeah... that's how lazy I am :-)
    But, look at me... Now, I comment almost everytime there is a post. Significant improvement haa???

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  25. Balvinder Singh: Sirjee aap....*Nancy rubs eyes in shock* iss na cheez ko kaisae yaad kiya;-o.

    Limenlemons: U were just describing my feelings down to the T;-))

    Laila: No 2nd thoughts abt it....I'm glad u delurked. I really appreciate that:-)).

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  26. was moved...really touching post! written so well..m smiling n feeling sad/sorry at the same time!

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  27. Now did you see the increase in the number. That's a indication that i am closing following you and never want to see you upset okay:)
    I know how it is to lose a close friend. Hugs. Time heals. Just remember the good times you had with her.
    And you are such a adorable mom Nancy. Hope the little girl is back to her cheerful self.

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  28. Oh don't worry nancy, will get one of my friends to follow you to tally the count :)...
    I know how it feels to lose a friend. Lost one of mine a couple of years back and I still cannot believe she is no more. The dreams I have of her even today are so vivid and feels like seeing her in flesh and blood. And I too haven't mustered the courage to meet her parents. I cannot imagine what I would say and afraid if I would say something inappropriate. Hope I find the courage one day and meet her parents.

    Hai re nand kisore - so you watch that serial too? Hallo hai bye bye :)

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  29. Tharani: Haha if this is the way I get more followers then hmmmmmm....*Nancy deep in thought*;-D.
    I'm usually happy go lucky types but once in a while all hell breaks loose;-P. Thanks so much for the lovely comment:-)).

    Anusha: I've been meaning to meet Manju's parents but my problem is tht they've moved from their old address & so I'm not so sure of their new location. And also the fact tht my friends keep saying they also want to go with me but in the end if doesnt happen bcoz of each persons time constraints. But this new year I'm def going to make it. And I think u shd too, they'll be so happy to see u:-)).
    Hallo hai to u too;-D.....ASR is a powerful magnet who makes sure I'm there to watch his every move tho I cant bear to watch the coming week...poor baby he's in a lot of pain;-((((

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    1. LOL. Me too me too. He is so damn cute that I can't resist but watch him even though I get back all drained out from work. :)

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    2. Yeah I totally get u, now that he & Khushi are married...I'm obsessed;-(

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  30. Err, cn I say Hugs :P :P

    I dint knw abt that reply button! Oh well, I hv hardly been on blogs these days ;) But I do remember those old days when u represented all of us and put down our woes for the blogspot ppl to read, u loyal lady! U r nt gonna move to WP, will u?

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  31. So good to see U girl:-))!!!!!
    I'm so tempted sometimes to move to WP but I'm so used to blogger now and now tht blogger has introduced the same features there is no need to move but just look at my luck;-(((((

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  32. Nancy, to tell you frankly, jab se dilli transfer hui hai tab se kisi bhi cheez ya nacheez ko yaad karne ka zyaada moka hee nahee milta. Aur fir aap koi nacheez nahee balki "cheez badi hai mast mast" :-). I like that gesture of "Nancy rubbing her eyes in shock" will try to be more regular.

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  33. Sirjee absolutely no issues, I was simply making conversation and Frankly Speaking[dont miss the play of words;-P] very thrilled to see u back on the blogging scene;-D.

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