Arigatou

People think I'm this very laid back kind of person……I am I am but what they don't know is that a lot of pressure, anxiety and hard work goes into looking like a laid back person. Yessss, that’s what I am……. a stressed out person trying hard to be laid back.

So the last 2 weeks I was not in a very good frame of mind……was out of sorts….got sick, went all moody and was feeling low generally. I doubt the family even knew because I was okay with them just maybe a little too quiet. The better-half was out of town so he had no clue. The kids were their boisterous selves so there also it went unnoticed.

The blog when I finally got around to giving it some attention got the brunt of it……and out came a post which wavered between unhappiness and mulishness. A little bit of defiance and depreciation thrown in. And oodles of self-pity;-P.

As I hit 'publish' I wondered what you’ll make of the incoherent matter; bits and pieces from here and there just randomly listed out on the post. I could even imagine you guys staring at the blank comment space & thinking ‘uhhh….what kind of a comment do I post to this???’

I’m one of those ‘types’….you know the kinds who runs at the sight of emotions…..all the hugs and kisses & the touchy-feely stuff are soo not me. Even with friends it is only now after all these years that we sort of peck eachothers cheeks when we meet but take a step back quickly…..our friendship is more the backslapping[making sure the recipient lurches forward who then turns & whack a harder one back ] & back-handed compliments kinds. Even when the kids hug me….sure I hug them back but it’s one of those quick fierce hugs where in the next minute you’ll see me disentangling myself to breathe freely.

And so I was saying…...your comments threw me. I don’t know what I expected but never what was written.

Each one of U wrote such beautiful and thoughtful comments. Even though I hung onto the ‘I’m depressed I refuse to be comforted mode’ for a few more days after that, I read and reread every one of your lovely responses and the mails I got.

Just want to say that there’s this warm feeling inside me…..a feeling which refuses to go away. Yep a warm fuzzy feeling which has enveloped me and transformed me back to that laid-back person mentioned above, minus the stress ofcourse:-)).

I want to say more but am always at a loss for words when I need them most.


p.s: @title - means 'Thank You' in Japanese. I have a follower from Japan. He calls himself Uncle Polyglot. I have been patiently waiting for him to comment on my blog for sometime now. In the meanwhile, I'm practicing my Japanese;-D

p.p.s: The correct way to say it is Arigatou gozaimasu but that becomes very formal and our relationship is not like formal is it. So thats why only Arigatou....alright, alright I'll quit showing off;-/