Monday, 22 June 2009

After dinner.....

Characters: A middle-aged Malayalee couple

Time: Between 10-11pm


Place: Bangalore
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Husband[settling himself in to sleep]: Have you let the dog out???

Wife[switching off the lights in the kitchen after final inspection]: I was just going to do that.

Husband: Don’t forget to keep the water bowl outside the verandah otherwise I’ll tripping over it when I open the door tomorrow.

Wife: Don’t worry, I’ll kept it near the plants.

Husband[adjusting the pillows to his satisfaction]: Did you lock the gate???

Wife: Yes I did that at around 8.30 itself when the boy from the shop brought the groceries.

Husband: Did you close all the windows????

Wife[a bit impatient now]: Ofcourse I did otherwise we would have been chewed up by the mosquitoes by now.

Husband: Hmmmmm.

Wife: The tap in the small bathroom is leaking, we have to do something about it.

Husband: Ah yes just keep a bucket underneath, will you.

Wife[sighs]: Ok I’ll go do that now.

Husband[settling deeper into the covers]: Did you lock the doors????

Wife[takes a deep breath]: No I didn’t.

Husband[senses undercurrents & backs off a bit]: So many robberies happening in the area, the world is not safe anymore.

Wife[attention diverted]: Yes Valsamma[church friend] was saying that the double storeyed house opposite the electricity board office was robbed in broad daylight 4 days back.

Husband: Did you lock the garage after the driver left????

Wife: Oh I completely forgot to……..[half-annoyed now] Why cant you do all this while I’m doing my work in the kitchen???

“You could do all these things quickly during the ad breaks” She adds pointedly.

Husband slides himself deeper into the folds of the coverlet.

Wife[gathering some clothes to fold]: In every house it is the man of the house who does all these things. Just yesterday Ponnamma[chatty neighbour] was telling me how Thomachan gets all the groceries home & she didn’t have to run to the shop for everything.

Husband[wisely]: That’s because Thomachan knows that Ponnamma will bring the whole shop home if he lets her shop.

Wife[not acknowledging husband’s effort to make her laugh, folding clothes in super speed]: Whereas here, you’ll just announce that we have people coming over for dinner & I have to run helter-skelter organizing everything….buy vegetables from the corner store, travel 1/2km by foot to buy chicken for the curry & beef for the cutlets, then go ¼ km in another direction to get the fruits. Get back home & spend the whole day slaving over the stove.
Finally after sending the guests back home, you'll very considerately tell me to leave everything where it is & do it in the morning. Huh…what kind of logic is that????

Husband[sticking his head out of the covers & bravely defending himself]: But I don’t tell you to make so many dishes. Just make plain rice & 1 or 2 curries, work is finished…what is the need to spend so much time in the kitchen????

Wife[looks outraged]: That’s it…invite people home & serve them rice and dal. Your logic is something I haven’t got used to even 20 yrs after marriage.
Do you know, I get up at 6 ‘0’ clock everyday & from then till now I haven’t rested even for a minute. By the time you get up at 9am I would have finished making breakfast, made separate food for the dog & even fed it, got the clothes washed & would be half-way thru making lunch but you have no sympathy for me.

Husband[knows the conversation does not show him in shining light, tries to tactfully end it]: Calm down, its 11 ‘0’ clock, do you want to wake up the neighbours….switch off the lights & lets get some sleep. You have to get up at 6 tomorrow.

Husband turns facing the wall & pretends to sleep.

Wife stands there furious, her eyes digging deep holes into the back of her husbands head.
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Somewhere far away in the heart of Dubai…

After dinner…


Husband[watching tv] calls out: Have you fed the fish??????

Wife[sounding most apologetic]: Just feed them off please. I’m already in bed. Also, lock the front door before you come in to sleep, & oh don’t forget to get a glass of water for the kids just incase they get up in the middle of the night.

[The daughter of the middle-aged couple had more of her father in her than she ever thought]

HAPPY BELATED FATHER'S DAY PAPA!!!!!!!!!!!

71 comments:

  1. :) u have to make everything so dramatic! lol.

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  2. limenlemons Yeah well I'm my father's daughter u see;-D!!!!!

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  3. Ur way of writing is so unique. Loved the post Nancy. Convey my wishes to ur dad too :)

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  4. hahaha, Nancy that was afabulous post heheheh, cant stop laughing... :P ohh u clever woman cool cool heheh...
    the absolute father's daughter...

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  5. I guess, the 'father' element is there in every daughter!! My father used to share housework with my mother, especially because she shared a 9 to 5 job with him!!
    And this concern for the partner has seeped into his daughters as well who cant help but to let the spouse park himself on the sofa the minute he land from office!!!

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  6. lol nice! sounds a little like pre- and post- women's lib!

    hehe...i cant wait to try these tactics on my better half! ;) after all im my father's daughter too!

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  7. O GAWD!!! You're soooo darned funny!!!
    Too good...just too too good!!

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  8. Swaram: Thank U:-D!!!!!!

    Enigma: More close to my mother actually but definitely my fathers favourite daughter;-D

    Pujathakur: yes, yes genes plays a large role in all these issues;-D

    Sunshine: Hehe do let me know the repercussions;-D

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  9. SGD: Heeee......I'll take it as a compliment;-D

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  10. LOL!!! I do just like you-get into the bed and get my husband to get water, switch off the lights, check if the door is locked, all this pretending to be v v drowsy. So far it has worked! Loved reading this!

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  11. ah, my miss orginality, Nancy, there you are with the most interesting bit on father's day!and it is great as usual, I think I should save a template to do this automatically everytime I come to comment on yours!

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  12. !!!!OMG nancy !!!Ahhh all the while I was reading the post ..I was thinking OMG, How does she manage family, work , kids and hubby...and only atlast I came to know ur a father's daughter..ohhh...anyway ha ha ha ha ..... too good....10/10 4r this post ....Loved it and did have a good laugh...

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  13. Oh you funny funny lady! Hilarious post :))

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  14. I was just beginning to think...wow you are such a nice wife and im not. Ro does almost all these things at home you know..and quite honestly i was relieved at the last part cos there are people like me heheh
    good one...
    And btw i forgot it was fathers day yesterday, didnt wish my dad even after talking to him :)

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  15. Proud of you dahling!!:)
    i cant ever imagine to be one hundreth of the ideal woman that your mum is, or my mum for that matter.. and need less to add, i am like my dad too!

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  16. ha ha....Father's daughter???But,Mind,Nancy, there are also father's sons:(

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  17. Nancy, tell me a secret please. How do you get to write like this ?? Tell meee plllleease !!

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  18. This seems almost excatly like another getting to be middle aged couple in Bangalore. The only difference is the wife has to send the kids to school, take care of their homework and go to work as well!!

    I am so relieved there are other families like mine ;-)

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  19. SJ: U have restored my faith in womankind today;-D!!!!!!

    Sindhu: Awwww...thank U for its such an honour to receive a compliment from somebody who writes for a living...but I wont take u seriously coz I know u r biased;-D

    Prabodh: Hehe...glad u enjoyed it;-D!!!!

    Meira: Thank U:-))!!!!!

    An Open Book: Hey...I take offence here....I AM A NICE WIFE...its just that a peculiar kind of weakness overtakes me immediately after dinner;-D

    ISH: High compliment coming from u;-D!!!!!

    Athivas: Guess wht...I got the mother's son;-D

    Ramesh: Thank U:-))!!!!!

    Wanderlust: I'll believe ur whole explanation except for the middle-aged part of it:-D

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  20. LOL LOL LOL.. And happy father's day :)

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  21. Anusha: Thank U:-D!!!!!!!!
    Hope urs went good too!!!!!

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  22. he he he!!! Dads seriously ruin it for husbands :-|

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  23. i think we were lucky to have such fathers :) and be just like them when its our day!!! :D

    but now that u hv let the secret out, hope the men dont get smart.

    loved the post, i re-read the last line to get it and then had a hearty laugh... it sounded similar..

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  24. The moment you started abt the malayalee couple in blore, I thot it would be abt your parents.

    And in faraway Dubai... I just assumed a similar situation there too. OMG ! You turned the tables and declared yourself as your father's daughter !!! Extremely clever and funny.

    So many years of listening to your parents had made you to be more smarter to handover the jobs to ur hubby.

    Does ur dad read your blogs ?????

    You know one thing - I am in the same situation like ur mom is. My hubby never moves a leg on his own.

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  25. Ridiculously funny! awesome work Nancy!

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  26. Oh yeah. And as a rare coincidence it was my dad's birthday too. Double celebration :))

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  27. Rakesh: LOL u say it so feelingly;-D!!!!!!!!

    Mindspace: I let the secret out so confidently coz my husband doesnt read my blog;-D

    Umas: U made me laugh with tht last sentence..I imagined your husband watching tv & u moving his legs to make him stand;-D
    And nope...my father doesnt read my posts but is aware thru my sister tht I write some stuff somewhere on the net;-D

    Rohini: Thank U:-))!!!!!

    Anusha: Wow.....that must have been special. Glad u had a good time:-))!!!!!

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  28. ROFL!!:D
    yeah you ARE your father;s daughter!:D

    You sure have taken some damn good lessons haven't you ?;)))

    what a way to wish him !:D:D
    I am still laughing!!:D
    Nancy you rock!:D
    err and who do you think the little darlings will take after?;)

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  29. This is humour in daily life...life would be so dull without it....it happens, aisa hota hai....in many different ways, but you sure can capture the essence of it in such a beautiful way. Kept smiling throughout....I had guessed that the first part had to be your parents, BUT the didn't have a clue that there was going to be a sequel...you sure know how to turn things around.

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  30. Loved Loved Loved this post !!!!

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  31. ha ha.. Nancy..you are inimitable! Loved this post! :D

    I am like my father too...and looks like my hubby is like my father too :O hee hee.. so you can imagine the amount of work that gets done in our house!!!

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  32. oh im sorry i dint mean you are a bad wife :)

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  33. *groan*..if she couldn't train him even after 20 years, there's no hope for me!!
    Okay, so the strategy is to be the first one in bed...I should remember that!!

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  34. LOL :-) happy father's day.

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  35. Nancy, You drama queen. Ha..ha..ha.. I had so much fun reading those names Valsamma, Ponnamma. It was like nostalgia.

    Father's Daughter! Right.

    Happy Father's Day!

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  36. ha ha! The first and ONLY Father`s Day post that made me laugh! :) Otherwise I have been so, so sad reading the other posts Nancy! Thank you for making me smile today :)

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  37. That is a nice trait to share :)

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  38. Indyeah: Ohmigosh....I never ever thought of tht...I really do hope they take after their father with a bit of my sense of humour;-D
    And thank U;-))!!!!!!!!!!

    JP Joshi: I wonder if u'll believe me when I say that the last bit was stroke of inspiration which struck me in the nth moment;-P.
    And thank U, thank U:-))!!!!!!

    Prashanti: Really???? Only a funny blogger will understand how much a nice comment from another funny blogger matters;-D.
    Thank U!!!!!!!!

    WannabeWriter: Dont worry, law of averages wont let such a thing happen. I'm sure ur daughter has taken after her grandmother

    An Open Book: Oh I know exactly what u meant......was just kidding, but I'm sure u knew tht;-D

    Roshni Mitra Chintalapati: "so the strategy is to be the first one in bed..."
    See, how blogging is helping us.....we learn new things everyday;-D.
    May I call u Roshni from now on???

    Agnes: Wishing U the same;-))!!!

    Solilo: "Father's Daughter! Right."
    I'm my fathers favourite daughter but more my mama's girl...if u know wht I mean;-D.

    Piper: I'm so glad it made u laugh.......if u dont mind me suggesting something, just click on Agnes's link...her recent post is called Healing. It made a lot of sense to me:-)).

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  39. The Idle Devil: Yeah, isn't it;-D!!!!!

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  40. Nancy, the link doesnt work. Can you send me the url to her blog?? I`d love to read her post, esp since you recommend it :)

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  41. Hilarious. I could just picture ur mom delivering those lines. She was in my head for a long time. She really throws herself into the things she does and then if someone crosses her path and rubs her wrong, God help them!

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  42. Piper: Oh sorry I didnt realise. Here it is...
    http://agnespages.typepad.com/agnes_pages/2009/06/healing.html#comments

    Butterfly: LOL, tell me abt it!!!!!
    If I lived closer maybe I wdnt say this but I sure miss all tht now;-P

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  43. this one is toooooooo good!! :-) lovely post!

    and a bonk on the head to the inconsiderate husband of the daughter :P

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  44. That was a good one Nancy, no prizes for guessing it correct that you are the father's daughter hee hee....captivating narration...you have got what it takes to be a writer, I am sure you know that...what do you do about itis my question???

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  45. LOL! LOL! I am like that too.. and i havent learnt from my dad.. umm i guess its just that am born with laziness :D

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  46. ooooooooo i wish i can write like u! i was jus waitin for the twist in the end so curiously :D ROFL!

    Happy fathers day!

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  47. too good...a typical middle class mallu family conversation.i'm sure at least once in a week,this kinda conversation used happen in almost all the middle class families....nyways thanks for sharing this post in such a hilarious way :)

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  48. ROFL!! I LOVE your narration!!
    :D :D

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  49. LOL!!!!
    Holy Moly! Ms.Smart aka Daddy's Girl! :D

    Happy Father's day indeed to your father :)

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  50. Awesome post girl!!!

    Felt I was reading my story!!! Husband has to say just one word about a thing being kept wrongly and I lose my control & say why don't u do it urself :D

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  51. i didnt wish my dad:(..

    my belated wishes!!:)

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  52. Ashwathy: Hehe thank U, tho in this case the bonk shd rightfully be on my head;-D

    Sadiya: Thank U for the wonderful compliment!!!!
    And am doing nothing at all....tho there was grandiose plans mandarafying in the head;-P

    Winnie: LOL...tho in ur case I wd say it is selective laziness;-D

    Former Sansmerci: U may not believe it but when I started the post the twist in the end as u call it, was not there;-D

    Anishthomas: As soon as I saw the Thomas in ur name I knew this post must have rung a bell;-D.
    Glad u liked it:-))!!!!!

    Saima: Thank U:-))!!!!!!

    Still thinking: Not so smart actually....the better-half 'if he wants to' can make me run circles arnd him;-(. But yeah abt Daddy's girl..tht I am.
    And Thank U:-))!!!!!!

    Smita: Thank U!!!! Losing control doesnt serve any purpose over here.....but requests & sweeeeet nothings do;-D

    Brocasarea: Its never too late....u can wish him even now:-)).

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  53. Hilarious, very funny...the two scenarios are extremely comparable!!

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  54. LOL!!!
    Inimtable Nancy style!
    Me like! Very much!!
    :)
    Cheers
    preeti

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  55. you really did this so well!!!! Your posts always leave me with a smile on my face- or an outright laugh.

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  56. Loved the post immensely rolling with laughter even though I could feel the pain of your mom... Me goes through this ordeal every single day...lolz and if he tries to do anything I get panicky coz I know I will have to double check...sigh!!!

    What a beautiful father's day post...psst psst Is your dad still the same?? I need some assurance you see for the future...

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  57. Nancy you have this inane quality of making even a mundane conversation sound so extraordinary.

    LOL!!!

    Please wish your father a belated father's day from my end too :))

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  58. Sara: Yeah...we all will fall into either one of the categories for sure, right;-D!!!!

    Preethi:: Hehe u think so;-D!!!! Thank U!!!!

    Anjuli: Very heart-warming words from a writer:-))......I'm honoured Connie.
    p.s: Reading chapter 4 now:-))!!!

    Sakshi: Oh yes my dad is rock steady that way...& we dont foresee too many changes in the future....hopefully this soothes ur fears;-D

    Deeps: Thank U!!!! Will do;-))!!!

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  59. Hi Nancy,

    Quite long since i visited your blog. Today i was feeling little down and thought reading your blog would help me out a little. It rightly did. :). I was finding it hard to smile and now am smiling. :). Beautiful, keep it up. :) And yeah even my Pappa is just the same as your dad.

    :)

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  60. My life is my lesson: Yes its been sometime hasn't it!!!
    Thank U for the lovely compliment...so glad the post brought a smile to ur face. U tek care:-)).

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  61. Ah - another great post! I had no idea where you were leading to when I started reading your post and thought in between that I should send this to my mom and dad :).

    Catching up with internet and blogs after a long vacation.

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  62. Colours: Welcome back!!!
    And thank U;-D!!!!!

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  63. Kidilam post!!

    Great imagination.... you should write professionally!! it would be a treat to read

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  64. wow, beautifully written, what an idea of a post!!! ((unique)) too good toooooo tooooooo good :D

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  65. Abraham, Snow, Gayathri: Thank U for ur gracious comments;-D!!!!

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  66. Hey...LOVED it :)
    new to ur blog..i love the way u narrate..
    and this post..the end left me all amused :)

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  67. Thank U.....glad u enjoyed it:-)!!!

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  68. u rnt writin anythng new, so... :P1 July 2011 at 21:05

    ha ha... belated father's day wishes (to ur dad ofcrse)... its been two years i know... but its June - so ;)

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