Characters: A middle-aged Malayalee couple
Time: Between 10-11pm
Husband[settling himself in to sleep]: Have you let the dog out???
Wife[switching off the lights in the kitchen after final inspection]: I was just going to do that.
Husband: Don’t forget to keep the water bowl outside the verandah otherwise I’ll tripping over it when I open the door tomorrow.
Wife: Don’t worry, I’ll kept it near the plants.
Husband[adjusting the pillows to his satisfaction]: Did you lock the gate???
Wife: Yes I did that at around 8.30 itself when the boy from the shop brought the groceries.
Husband: Did you close all the windows????
Wife[a bit impatient now]: Ofcourse I did otherwise we would have been chewed up by the mosquitoes by now.
Wife: The tap in the small bathroom is leaking, we have to do something about it.
Husband: Ah yes just keep a bucket underneath, will you.
Wife[sighs]: Ok I’ll go do that now.
Husband[settling deeper into the covers]: Did you lock the doors????
Wife[takes a deep breath]: No I didn’t.
Husband[senses undercurrents & backs off a bit]: So many robberies happening in the area, the world is not safe anymore.
Wife[attention diverted]: Yes Valsamma[church friend] was saying that the double storeyed house opposite the electricity board office was robbed in broad daylight 4 days back.
Husband: Did you lock the garage after the driver left????
Wife: Oh I completely forgot to……..[half-annoyed now] Why cant you do all this while I’m doing my work in the kitchen???
“You could do all these things quickly during the ad breaks” She adds pointedly.
Husband slides himself deeper into the folds of the coverlet.
Wife[gathering some clothes to fold]: In every house it is the man of the house who does all these things. Just yesterday Ponnamma[chatty neighbour] was telling me how Thomachan gets all the groceries home & she didn’t have to run to the shop for everything.
Husband[wisely]: That’s because Thomachan knows that Ponnamma will bring the whole shop home if he lets her shop.
Wife[not acknowledging husband’s effort to make her laugh, folding clothes in super speed]: Whereas here, you’ll just announce that we have people coming over for dinner & I have to run helter-skelter organizing everything….buy vegetables from the corner store, travel 1/2km by foot to buy chicken for the curry & beef for the cutlets, then go ¼ km in another direction to get the fruits. Get back home & spend the whole day slaving over the stove.
Finally after sending the guests back home, you'll very considerately tell me to leave everything where it is & do it in the morning. Huh…what kind of logic is that????
Husband[sticking his head out of the covers & bravely defending himself]: But I don’t tell you to make so many dishes. Just make plain rice & 1 or 2 curries, work is finished…what is the need to spend so much time in the kitchen????
Wife[looks outraged]: That’s it…invite people home & serve them rice and dal. Your logic is something I haven’t got used to even 20 yrs after marriage.
Do you know, I get up at 6 ‘0’ clock everyday & from then till now I haven’t rested even for a minute. By the time you get up at 9am I would have finished making breakfast, made separate food for the dog & even fed it, got the clothes washed & would be half-way thru making lunch but you have no sympathy for me.
Husband[knows the conversation does not show him in shining light, tries to tactfully end it]: Calm down, its 11 ‘0’ clock, do you want to wake up the neighbours….switch off the lights & lets get some sleep. You have to get up at 6 tomorrow.
Husband turns facing the wall & pretends to sleep.
Wife stands there furious, her eyes digging deep holes into the back of her husbands head.
Somewhere far away in the heart of Dubai…
Husband[watching tv] calls out: Have you fed the fish??????
Wife[sounding most apologetic]: Just feed them off please. I’m already in bed. Also, lock the front door before you come in to sleep, & oh don’t forget to get a glass of water for the kids just incase they get up in the middle of the night.
[The daughter of the middle-aged couple had more of her father in her than she ever thought]
HAPPY BELATED FATHER'S DAY PAPA!!!!!!!!!!!