Monday, 2 March 2009

Even the best of Friends must part

I was feeling dizzy & nauseous in class[8th std] one day; the teacher asked for a volunteer to accompany me outside & when Neetu was the only one who put her hand up, I was pathetically gratified.
The next day I had forgotten to bring my lunchbox & Neetu who went home for lunch came back with 4 slices of Masala Bread from Iyengar’s bakery. I decided then & there that I’ll be her friend for life.

Her house was very close to our school. Very soon we were spending all our time in & out of school together. She was the only child to her parents & luckily for us her parents took a liking to me.
I say luckily because there were quite a few instances we got mad at eachother & it was her parents who solved our issues & got us back together.

We were not at all alike Neetu & I……infact when I look back now I cannot imagine how we ever became friends & spent more than 13+ yrs in eachother’s company.

We both loved books; but she preferred gritty hard hitting novels like Jeffrey Archer & Sidney Sheldon whereas I leaned towards the mushier stuff like Danielle Steele & Mills & Boon.
We loved music; she preferred English head banging stuff & was crazy about George Michael & other boy bands; I enjoyed 60’s & 70’s Hindi music.

The only things we unanimously agreed upon was…… our mutual dislike for kids. Our favourite timepass at Christmas & other get togethers was to make grotesque faces at kids, scaring them away & grinning conspiratedly at eachother.

So many memories…..

*She always dragged me along when she was buying clothes. It just happened that whenever we went together she always got exactly what she was looking for.
*We’d order something at a restaurant & my meal always looked & tasted better than hers. She used to be so peeved & cunningly talk me into exchanging plates.
*She had 4 dogs……one of them was named after her cousin Johnnie & cousin Johnnie had a dog named Neetu. U can very well imagine what transpired whenever they met.
Both my dogs Toothie & Cookie were gifted to me by her parents.
*Can never forget our trips to the Mecca library at Commercial street & Cox town where we whiled away a lot of time.
*She was the one who enlightened me that babies can also come out from the passage below[till then I was under the impression that the only option was to cut open the stomach to take the baby out]
*Death by Chocolate at Corner House, Residency Rd was our favourite dessert. It cost a whopping Rs.35 that time. On special occasions, we’d both order 1 each. She would eat hers quickly & then impatiently wait coz she knew I’ll stop halfway & give the remaining to her….infact most of the treats ended the same way.
*She loved the cocoa cakes & appams my mom made.
*If you pulled up the mattress on her bed, you’ll find tiny paper packets of chilli powder & salt underneath……..she always ate it while reading a book.
*On one of her birthdays I gave her a gift wrapped package. She opened the wrapper to find a cardboard box which had Prestige Pressure Cooker written on it. She tried hard to hide her disgust & then was so thrilled when she saw a pair of sports shoes inside.

Around 6 years after we became friends we were nostalgically discussing how highly unlikely our friendship was, if not for that single act of kindness at the beginning & I find out that she volunteered to accompany me out coz she was bored & was looking for a way to get out of class.
Though I threw something at her at that time, I grinned understandingly as the explanation made complete sense.

In college we were in different classes & made other friends but always found time to spend with eachother.

Her mother is a well known gynecologist who had a hectic schedule. To get away from all that stress, every year they went on a 1-2 weeks holiday to some vacation spot. I was always included since Neetu would refuse to go without me. Thanks to them I’ve been to many places in South India like Madras, Kodaikanal, Ooty, Goa and stayed in the best places. Sometimes Aunty would generously tell me to bring my sister along too but Neetu was not too enthusiastic about the idea coz it meant that she had to share me with my sister.

Even today when I see Hersheys chocolates & those huge Danish biscuit tins I think of Neetu. She had several aunts & uncles abroad who would send her delicious chocolates & biscuits. Like a typical only child who didn’t know how to share, she would open the box & pick out the thinnest ones to give me. As an afterthought however she would promise to get me 1 whole tin when she went abroad & got a job.

I loved her……..quirks and all. She was older to me agewise but I was incharge[atleast I thought so]. After college she went away to Chennai to study a complex course in Computer Science but we kept in touch with letters. When she came back after a year, we got together & it was ‘almost’ like before.
I worked somewhere close to her house, so was able to drop in to chat & catch up every opportunity I got.
Her parents were looking for a groom for her long before mine started to but somehow her marriage never happened.

Then I got married & left to Dubai. We wrote mails to each other every once in a while & spoke on birthdays & special occasions but after sometime we sort of stopped communicating.

But every year when I go on vacation I visit her without fail. We are happy to see eachother & catch up on the latest with each other but somewhere something’s missing. We are no longer able to just carry on where we left off. Conversation dries up within 20-30 mins after meeting. Then its just about the weather & other general stuff. My kids don’t interest her at all…..I smile resignedly….she still hasn’t changed in that respect.

I felt like the smallest thing on earth, when once in a moment of weakness she told me how hounded & pressurized she & her parents felt because of her unmarried status and that she deliberately looked for a job outside the country so that she could escape from it all.
So when she asks me the standard question “So how’s married life???”, I act quite bored, pretend the grass is greener on her side & that she’s lucky to have escaped the noose.

I see the sadness in her parents’ eyes when they see me with my kids. I feel guilty somewhere inside me for leading a normal life in contrast to their daughter. Just for a moment I feel like as if I’ve deserted their daughter after being by her side for more than a decade.

She is somewhere in Singapore now & our vacations to India don’t happen at the same time so I haven’t seen her in recent years. But there are so many things which remind me of her almost everyday….
...My firstborn is named Nikita because Neetu & I loved the name.
...My wedding anniversary falls on her birthday
...Archie Comics & Mad Magazines always remind me of her.
...'Sacrifice', 'Final Coundown', 'Careless whispers' & 'Last Christmas' teleport me straight into her messy room.
...When I bake a cocoa cake I wish there was a way I could send some of it to her.

I've written quite a few mails asking her how she’s been, reminiscing our days together but haven’t received a single reply back. Once upon a time I could have given you a detailed account of how exactly her mind worked.

My mother tells me that they have shifted their residence to another part of town & for the 1st time I realize I don’t have another contact number other than their old house phone number[I lost my cell phone & in the process lost her contact number].

I know she’s decided to cut loose…….decided that old memories & connections don’t serve any purpose except to remind her of the void in her life.

It hurts that she doesn’t want anything to do with me, that she finds it so easy to just dismiss the times we spent together. Worst of all it haunts me that I never tried hard enough to keep in touch with her.

But even today if I have to talk about her it's always "My best friend Neetu used to........".

I guess, old habits die hard.


  1. That was some article....
    I have not experienced the same.... but I guess that it must be hard....
    Best of luck... maybe she had her reasons .... is all i can say..
    and we are all complex creatures... :)

  2. that was beautiful nancy...and i feel for u! it hurts when friendships fade into nothing as we grow up and you realize that now there is nothing in common with this person without whom earlier your days were incomplete!

  3. A nice one.. as usual..

    :-) am sure she would also be thinking abt those old times as the same beautiful set of memories.

    At times it just happens that, you need to pull apart from all you know and everyone around to find out the best for yourself; but the, ultimately how much ever you run away, a day will finally come when you yourslef will pull it all back right onto your lap.

    Let that day soon happen so that you'll find yourself back with your best friend Neetu... :-)

  4. :(

    I can't say more.

    I am speechless.

    But I do talk of a friend I lost touch with ... as 'best friend Simran' ... still ... our conversations dry up in 15-20 minutes too now.

    you are right.

    old habits die hard.

    what a read!! thanks! u totally had me gripped. wish u all the best and hope u can come to terms with the situation. soon.

  5. After I heard sooooo much abt your friend and then I actually met her, I had this gaping look that you must have missed. I just could not get how two personalities like you could get together!
    She was really something and I do feel badly that she is still not married.
    But why did you lie to her abt married life? You might just have made her change her mind.
    Sometimes, after life has progressed with marriage and all, it is kinda difficult to jump back into old friendships especially if you know your spouse is unlikely to get along at social outings. So I introduce and further friendships that we are likely to maintain. The rest I meet on my own if I can.
    I do hope u get in touch with her again!

  6. Dear,
    Don't worry. We're on the same boat. I totally understand your situation, as I've also been through similar ones.
    The communications are always from my side, their answers are crisp with no warmth. Sometimes I feel why am I pursuing with this friendship. But its the wonderful memories that you've stored in your mind that makes you want for more. That's we try contacting them again and again.
    Let's learn to live with the memories and not get hurt by them everytime.

  7. Nancy, no lies or exaggeration but I actually had a lump in my throat as I finished reading this.

    Last night a close friend from my "Seven Wonders" gang called me up....after I guess 6 months. We live in the same city, but ever since she got married, her life is concentrated around her in-laws and I dont find any space in her schedule. Sometimes I reminisce old times with the gang, and all the things and the places we went to...just brings back old memories. Its hard to let go of beautiful times that you spend with people who have essentially seen u evolved for the better part of your life. To have them cut away, is just too painful.

    I am really lucky as of now that me and my best friend Diva are still together, shouting our heads off at each other for silly things and then back together the very next day. But I do wonder at times when this all might be over for good and its a scary proposition. :(

    I do sincerely hope that you meet Neetu again and revive the flame of friendship and everything is just as it was. Hugs to you!! >:D<

  8. One of your rare, non-humorous posts Nancy. Touched my heart, really did. It is wonderful of you to understand her reasons. I can just say, that post marriage, friendship does not happen due to age, but because of the stage one is in life. I was always a very lonely single child all my life and friends did not have as much time for me,as I did for them. After I got married, the first among all my friends, i did not have much time for them, with an entire household to take care of, and I was working too then. It happens, and I think it best that you do not get to her much, because it may hurt her more than help, you have your lovely daughters and husband for company, and she is all alone you know!

  9. A good one, Nancy, can identify with your feelings. Whenever I hear about friends getting together I used to feel sad, sad that I have no close friends now...but now, a few months later, some of my good friends from my school and college days are getting in touch and I feel so warm and happy...
    Marriage does change our priorities...
    Loved this one, Nancy

  10. Nancy, u always put so much of emotions in ur post, that I felt like searching for neetu and get two of you together:)
    But I have seen that rarely the friendships of youner days are maintained after marriage..someone ,somewhere gets busy in life and then when after a gap of some time we try to remeber, not much is left.
    Even I lost a friend for a trivial thing, Icouldnt attend her son's marriage and she took it so badly that never talked to me again.

  11. such is life.. sometimes difficult to understand and sometimes difficult to accept in spite of understanding the reasons.

    i felt somewhat similar when i found my school time(5th -7th std) friend 2 yrs back through some internet forum and was much more than excited to hv found her. we spoke for hours on phone that day to catch up on the last 10 yrs or so, but took almost 6 months to meet (we were in the same city n still), there was something missing when we met and while we exchange greetings its not the same.. i told myself-its wise to let it be like that and not worry over it much.

  12. "HUG"

    That was an awesome post, the intimate details you remember about your friendship is touching. My close friends and I have resigned ourselves to the fact that life will go on...but we try our best to keep in touch as often as possible. I understand why you hid the joys of married life from her back then...but I still don't think it's too late for her to find love, or for you to find her. I think all you have to do once you meet her again is accept that she too can be happy in her unmarried state. Get her involved in your life again. Flood her inbox with pictures of your children. Don't let her go that easily... :O)


  13. Ordinary Guy: Thank U for your comforting words:-))
    "we are all complex creatures... :)"
    I'll second that!!!!!!

    Sunshine: takes us different ways & suddenly we have nothing in common:-(. Ur 2nd sentence said it all actually.

    SandhyaS: "she would also be thinking abt those old times as the same beautiful set of memories."
    I hope so too!!!! Thank U!!!!

    roop: U knw, at the start of this post itself I knew it was going to be gloomy[when u know me better u'll understand I rarely write stuff like this:-P] but I just cdn't help it...I had to put this down.
    What I was trying to say in a roundabout way was that ur words comforted me. Thank U!!!!!

    Bins: I was not lying as was not her fault marriage was not happening, I just wanted make her feel less bad about it:-(

    umas: U r right...have to learn to let the memories remain as beautiful as they were & not let the present mar their essence.

    Smriti: Thank U for the hugs & wishes....and I feel ur insecurities as my own. What can I tell U?????
    I'd say a lot of effort & time also goes into the maintenance of this relationship called Friendship.

    Goofy Mumma: What u say makes a lot of sense but it's just so hard to let go:-(
    And thank U for the words of comfort!!!!!

    sindhu: Yes u r makes us realise the value & make an effort.
    I wish U warm friendship days!!!!!

    Renu: Thank U for trying to make me smile:-). Yes even I noticed that both the people dont try always happens that 1 tries & the other doesnt realise.

    mindspace: "sometimes difficult to accept in spite of understanding the reasons."
    U said it all in that 1 sentence!!!!

    Shades of Grey: As I was writing this post down so many memories came tumbling out much ever I write, it feels like it will never end...I guess 13+yrs of friendship cannot be squashed into 2 pages.
    Hugs back and Thank U for the ideas:-))!!!!!

  14. Nancy, you are carrying so many memories of your friend and have put them down here in your inimmitable style. I can understand your state of mind after reading the way your friendship has ended or shall i say just faded away. I wish she reads this post.

  15. Balvinder Singh: Actually I'm not sure at all I want her to read this post.....there is a fear she may take it in the wrong sense:-(.
    Thank U for understanding:-))!!!!

  16. Ah nance *hugs*

    It is so hard to let of people.. I feel for your friend too..

    I have no words to say really I mean I dont wanna say usual platitudes.. for I know how it hurts to lose a friend.. even a watered down friendship..


    Once my friend had said these words to me.. he said that

    "just because I do not find time to reply or to keep in contact as much as you do.. doesn't mean I don't miss you.. its just that I dont act on the impulses"

    hope this eases your ache.. may be she misses u as much as you miss her... but she doesnt act on the impulses.. for her ache runs too deep ?

  17. must be missing her so much! guess that's life...we all get busy with our new life, we have new priorities and new things to look after...
    Another reason for not being the same as before is cos you both have a different life now...
    i hope you can be in touch with her again :)...try facebook...!

  18. Such a beautiful post, Nancy.

    I am not sure what to say. I think that friends will always be friends. Single life is so different from married life...
    Nancy, I think it's all fine, I really do. I think she thinks of you just as often as you think of her.

    Hope she's reading your blog :-)

  19. That was such a touching post,nancy!Your friendship with Neetu reminded me of mine with my best friend,Hema.We've known each other for close to 20years and we've had our ups and downs in life.Oh,she was very posessive about me and there have been time when I've been nasty with her.I so hate myself for that!
    But that never stopped us from being the best of friends.
    She is in BLR,married with a daughter and we are in touch through occasional mails.But whenever I'm in Delhi we make sure to at least speak to each other.

    We may not speak or meet up as often as we used to,but to this day both Hema & I know we can count on each other at any juncture in life.

    Trust me,Nancy...You may have lost touch with Neetu,but I'm sure both of you will be there for each other when you need the other the most.I'm sure of that:)

  20. Aww.. that was so sweet Nancy!
    Very touching read!!!

    Don't you worry dear..all will go well and you'll definitely get your old Neetu back!

    Those 13+ years would have made a huge impact in her life too same as yours..May be something's holding her back..Have Faith, you'll get her:)

    You know what?? The DBC @ Corner house costs around 95-100 now!! I love the Royal butterscotch flavor there. DBC is way too heavy na..?

    By the way, even I thought the same about babies' birth till my 11th;):)

  21. Such a Beautiful Post....I just hope whereever she is, she gets to read this post.
    And am pretty sure, one day, you will hear from her, You know as people say True freindship never dies.., Looking forward and hoping for a post from you about how she reverted back very soon.

  22. It touched somewhere deep inside... of best friends drifting apart. Your post brought back memories of my closest college friend and roommate, who, like your friend, 'chose' to drift away....though, even eleven yrs since college she doesnt forget to sms me birthday wishes....

  23. But you don't have to let go at all! She is your friend, and always will be, but let her come out and get in touch with you. That is what I meant. There are obviously situational reasons for her discomfort or unwillingness to get in touch with you, so let her be, till she makes her peace, and I am sure you will always accept her with open arms when she does come around.

    My personal opinion is it is not easy being friends with someone who is in a different stage in life, like I said earlier.

    PS - I am introducing people to the joys of your blog!

  24. This was just so beautiful,nostalgic,heartbreaking..all of it at once...

    I know because this is me and a friend of mine too...

  25. Nancy, this touched a chord because somewhere I too have felt the same for a dear friend whose name starts with N. I used to and still feel guilty for leading a happier life as compared to hers.

    May be things will change in future and you will meet her when least expected. It happens all the time.

  26. Oh Nancy, yet another post so close to my heart! I know exactly what you`re talking about. My best friend since Lower K.G(!!) and one of the very few ones I have..or may be not.. - somehow over the years we lost touch. And it was pbly me, who is to blame. I was not comfortable with the looks of pity in her eyes(as well as her folks back home) - they thought I wouldnt ever get married. So did I. Mostly because of a bad,bad relationship at that point in time. But anyway, that was when I moved away. She moved to the US. And next thing I knew, so did I(happily married by now!). Well, she managed to trace me and I`m so glad she did. But its not the same again Nancy. Like you said, It was impossible to pick up from where we left. Somewhere along the years, the threads disappeared..
    What a truly beautiful post! I`m sitting here crying - for you and for me and for the friendships we`ve lost.. :-(( Hugs

  27. You should moved on too:(I mean, it won't be pleasure for long if you've to pretend as if there's no fun in married life and family just so the other person stays in good humor...Just a thought!

    Very raw, thanks for sharing:)

  28. nancy, a heartfelt post....that friendship is not lost. if she does get married, who do you think she will invite first? why of course you! old friendships die hard and for the same reason, neetu has not forgotten it at all. it is just that maybe seeing you is reminder for all that she is missing or rather her parents. i hope for your sake that she will meet someone that she will want to marry. either way, don't lose heart, you two will meet again like long lost friends if it is meant to be....i hope so.

  29. That was a heartfelt post Nancy, Hope Neetu (even her name starts with N) could read this somehow. Have you tried googling her. Its amazing how you can find ppl thru Google. (I try finding myself sometimes).

    But I've noticed, girls do not seem to be very open about things even with their best friends. Like I don't think a guy would've pretended to be bored of marraige, In fact, they would've had a nice chat, the single guy would've cursed the married guy and they would've finished it off with a round of beer...

    But ya, it happens with a few guys too, they change when they get married. I've a best friend who I can't tell secrets anymore coz. he goes and spills them before his wife... Sad, what's a friend who doesn't keep your secrets?

  30. Hi, did u manage to establish contact after this post? It's the toughest thing in the world to lose someone this special. reading your words makes me realize how tough it is.

  31. when i started reading this post i had this huge smile, i started thinking about my BFF and how cool it is to write about your bestest friend.. and as i kept reading on, i didn't realize i had this tiny tear come in my eye..

    this was a very touching post, Nan.


  32. Winnie: U knw...from Neetu's point of view ur friends answer wd have made perfect sense to her.
    I really hope Neetu thinks of me too.

    Deeplydip: U always cut straight to the point & give me direction:-)

    Agnes: She used to read it when I was on msn pages but she doesnt know abt this one.

    Deeps: So nice to read abt ur friendship. God Bless!!!!
    "I'm sure both of you will be there for each other when you need the other the most."
    Heart of hearts I feel the same

    Shayari: Faith is all that is left. Yeah even I used to find DBC very heavy...never cd finish it.
    And I found out in the 9th:-o.

    Durga: Thank U for the wishes. I hope to put it up too:-))

    SGD: Sometimes I wonder how people find it in their hearts to break away just like that:-(

    Goofy Mumma: Yes I understand now by what u meant to say. Thank U for caring:-)).

    Indyeah: I hope u get back with ur friend too. And thank U for the kind words.

    Solilo: "May be things will change in future and you will meet her when least expected"
    I second that wholeheartedly:-))!!!

  33. wow nancy, that was a gr8 post and there is so much emotion in it....
    I can certainly undertsnd the feeling coz i have been through almost the sme kind of stuff...Hav lost many friends...once we move to a differnt place and stuff and all things change a lot...But one thing i really hav to say is that My PG friends gang still keep in touch...we hav a common mail group...the mail we send to one person, reaches all the others....even after some hav gotten married, most of them find time to party, get togtehr maila nd all...ya some people have kept away, but the people who matter do keep in touch...we chat, we ar on orkut facebook and all that....and even now i get to open my heart with them...But i hav lost some dear friends after their marriage as they seem to hav problems and they r very aloof and stuff....

    ya i know i havebt done your tag yet too..will do it soon..

  34. i cant imagine my life without my best friends. it wouldnt make sense to me.
    due to the timing of your post ...with things that are happening in my life right now....scares me more than it would have normally. dont know how much of maintaining such friendships is in any one person's hands. now im just rambling on.....let me go gather my thoughts.

  35. I have yet to get to your tag but I am gonna tag you for the picture tag that Renu sent me :O)

  36. Luckily, haven't had this happen to me...I have friends who are in similar situations as me and friends who are in different...but somehow our relationships haven't changed. Interactions have reduced and priorities have changed surely...but being unable to communicate like old would be so terrible. Maybe you should take a day off without the family, spend the day with her and speak might find that there was nothing wrong at all...hope you can do that! :)


  37. Piper: I'm so sorry I made u cry:-( but do want to tell u that I emphatize. And thank u for showing ur side of it. And the worst is as we grow older we find it so difficult to make good friends.

    naperville mom: "You should moved on too"
    Believe me until u said this the thought never once occurred to me:-).
    In hindsight I do realise that u may have a valid point...but what to do...yeh dil hai ki manta hi nahin;-P

    lan: I hope so too...I soo hope so too!!
    "i hope for your sake that she will meet someone that she will want to marry."
    Aapke muh mein ghee shakkar:-))!!!
    Thank U for caring:-)).

    Rakesh: Neetu is actually short for Parineetha:-D.
    "I've a best friend who I can't tell secrets anymore coz. he goes and spills them before his wife... Sad, what's a friend who doesn't keep your secrets?"
    LOL.....LOL.....u poor thing...such a tragedy:-D

    The Idle Devil: No I havent...infact its after reading ur comment that I sent her a mail once again.

    snow: Oh u r making me feel terrible...I honestly didnt mean to...but it just poured out:-(

    Enigma: "we hav a common mail group...the mail we send to one person, reaches all the others...."
    Such a wonderful idea.....a sure way of keeping us all connected.

    N: 1 thing I've realised..both the concerned people have to be interested in keeping it going otherwise the person who is trying all the time will start hating herself for being so clingy.
    The again I've realised...never hesitate to make the first, second third move:-))

    Shades of Grey: I have 2 other tags pending:-(.....I'll take some time but I'll do it:-P

    Wannabe: "Maybe you should take a day off without the family, spend the day with her and speak might find that there was nothing wrong at all"
    U knw this thought has occurred to me time & again but for some reason or the other its never happened...I think I'll do this next time:-). Thank U!!!!!

  38. This was such a great post- sad but good. It is so true that friendships can often shift over time....they can grow hot or cold. Have you read the book "Friendshifts"? It goes along this same theme.

    Again, I did so love this post- and it made me think of the many friendships in my life- the ones which are still thriving and the other ones which have shifted and faded over the years.

  39. Hey,I've done the random tag.Do drop by whenever you get time:)

  40. Oh Nancy! What a reminiscing, warm, poignant post. Absolutely loved it.
    I guess things change, people move on.
    I have very similar memories with a friend--but now we're two different individuals. Its just not the same 'as before'. But the memories are great.
    Laughed in a sadistic way to read that you frightened the kids :D

  41. Trust me when I say this.. one day, when you look back to remember the past, you'll find her right there running back.. and then as you catch up, you'll realise that everything's alright. True Friendships get stretched by distance... but they last.

    How do I know ? Lets just say I've played Neetu's role in real life... and things ended up ok for me.

  42. Beautiful!! u have done it again, ur posts are just so touching.. i am reminded of my own long lot "best-friend" who i lost tuch after school
    and i hope u get in touch with her all over again

  43. I know exactly how you feel but am going through something similar - so the hurt stood out.

  44. I read a very interesting article somewhere and picked up the part that applies to your story

    Some people come into your life for a SEASON, because your turn has come to share, grow or learn..
    They bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh.
    They may teach you something you have never done.
    They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy.
    Believe it, it is real. But only for a season...


  45. Anjuli: I guess some things are meant to be!!!!
    Friendshifts huh???? Sounds interesting.

    Deeps: Done:-))!!!!

    Preethi: Finally like u said "The memories are great":-)).

    Dr Roshan: U r showing me light at the end of the tunnel...thank U!!!!

    ISH: I hope so too!!!!

    colours: I'm so sorry.....hope u r handling it better than me:-)

    Terra Shield: Its beautiful!!!
    But has an element of truth which I'm not ready to accept:-(

  46. Tell me about it... when I first read it, I did feel very upset, because I've been through that whole being cut off by friends without any reason whatsoever....

    However, after awhile, I began to accept it as a part of life and it doesn't hurt so much anymore. I think...

  47. Happy Women's day in advance Nancy!:)

  48. Well written,Friend. Though got mushy sometimes.

    i could recall this quote "
    We do not remember days; we remember moments "

    Pretty nostalgic one :)

    Lovely post.

  49. Very well written.
    Simple and beautiful


  50. Terra Sheild: Yeah once we decide to move on & not dwell on it too much it sort of doesnt hurt that much:-).

    Shayari: Same to U:-D!!!!!

    Prashanth Sree: Beautiful quote, apt too!!!!!

    Archana Gawde: Thank U:-))!!!!!!

  51. I just came across this amazing piece while surfing around. An absolutely straight from the heart blog. All of us have a friend or friends from childhood, the haunts may be different and the incidents may change a bit here and there but the theme remains the same.

    Then other recurring theme is that when we actually come face to face with those faces from the past there isn't really much to say.

    I really enjoyed this one. Thank you and keep blogging

  52. sometimes separations/silence/ distance etc don't make sense. But a lot of things in this world too does not make sense. hope you guys someday, somewhere rekindle the friendship

  53. One of my closest friends is going through a painful divorce right now, while I am happily married & expecting a child. I almost felt guilty when I first told her the news, and whenever we talk, I downplay my life.

    I don't think its easy to cut off people close to you. I feel only if you're deeply unhappy would any person do such a thing. So I pray for her, and you do too, that she finds some sort of happiness in her life. That should give her the confidence to stop running.

  54. v touching post nancy..made me very sad..reminds me of old friends..but its true so much water has flown under the bridge that after the initial euphoria and 15 mts of hows so n u remembers? the conversation dries up..
    As for Neetu..she will always be your best friend and its best if u let her remain a part of your past..if u know wat i mean..

  55. thats is such a lovely write up and i can relate to what u have written.. i too have lost a friednship as she refuses to talk to me..
    i really wish that u get back with ur friend soon enuff!!
    if she reads ur blogs she will surely call u after reading this..


  56. SoulSearcher: Thank U for the kind words:-)).

    A: Thank U for caring:-))!!!!!

    Shalom: Oh it must so terrible to see ur friend sufferring. I so understand the underplaying u do:-(.

    myspace: U've put it exactly like how it is. And u r right, finally if nothing works I hope to find it in my heart to let go:-)

    Iya: I hope so too. Thank U:-))!!!!

  57. oh my god! what a beautiful post, you made me weep not just cry. My Neetu will be 'Anandhi'. Again you've written it so beatifully... have you considered writing as a profession? It is a serious question, i think you should.... as for your friendship, people change, their perceptions change, you are looking for someone who isn't there.... if you really want to get in touch, why don't you try catching her mother? Gync doctor is bound to have a clinic, will be listed in telephone directory etc... keep trying...

  58. Preethi: I'm sorry I made U sad...its only after receiving all these comments I realised all of us have 'lost' friends at 1 point or the other:-(.
    I do intend to look for them....just waitinf for the next vacation.
    Thank U for the beautiful & generous comment:-)).

  59. oh my! u literally took me to tears... ouch! that ought to hurt...

    may the void of the broken bond find a way to get healed soon... god bless...

  60. Nancy,I wanted to comment on all these posts from the very first time I read those.. But i always relucted..Now its like a commenting spree .. :)
    I have lost in touch vth many friends over the years but always made new ones.. So never felt that void in me..
    But loosing a dear friend of mine over some silly misundarstanding , i wanna rewind in time and undo all things whatever made us apart.

    She was my college-mate and we were this thick friends for 6 years.And after that all mess happened and we never contacted each other.

    Thru our common friends, I came to know dat she was getting married and I fervently hoped she would invite me and everything would bounce back to like old days.But she never called ... I sulked N sulked...

    In that mood, after 5 months when i got married, I too dint invite her..Now I regret abt it, may be If i had broken my stubbornbess and took my marriage as a reason to talk to her may be it would have worked out. May be...

    Its something in my past which I am not able to make peace with..

    1. I soo understand how u feel....the fight which seemed so big then will feel so stupid now and sometimes we don't even remember the reason anymore:(.
      I really hope you get to patch up with ur friend Deepa.

  61. Nancy, you know what... We pacthed up :)... I dreamt her one day and the next day i sent her a mail and she replied to that.She lives in US and travelling to India next week via Dubai.. :)
    And we will be meeting..Hurrayyyy... Njan oru snap ayachu tharaaam... I just thought of letting you know.. :)

    1. That's wonderful news Deepa....I'm so happy for you:-)). Snap gmailottu ayacholu...the address is on the profile page:-D.

  62. Nancy, I couldnt locate your gmail id... :(

    1. It's on the profile page...anyways here it is...lexaxel[at]gmail[dot]com:-).
      Spammers inde shalyam konda azhudaan madichede:-)).

  63. ok..danku danku... I will send it today evening.. OK


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