Thursday, 18 October 2012

I've been thinking about it 4 sometime now

I want to work again.

Not that I'm sitting at home and twiddling my thumbs now.

There is no shortage of work at home;-/

But I want more.

I want to get up in the morning, get dressed in crisp formals and go to work.

I miss those mornings when I greeted people with a bright, plastic smile ‘Good Morning Mr. Mazen*change name every 2-3 mins*, How are you??? I’m gooood, good, thank you’ for the 1st hour of every morning.

I especially miss those ‘shrugging the shoulders & rolling the eyes’ conversations I had with my colleagues [esp. if one of us were on the phone with an unreasonable client].

I crave for those cold-cold chapatti rolls and limp sandwiches which I used to carry for lunch.

I pine for those dull boring meetings after lunch where one desperately tries to hide yawns by raising their files to face level or pretend to pick pen/paper/stapler/paper clip from floor every 2 minutes.

Did you know I started blogging initially from office and when I stopped working I had trouble blogging from home because I was just not used to it;-P.

I miss my boss who would leave me alone for the better part of the day and then dump 2 hours of work on me ½ an hour before leaving.

Jokes apart, I've been thinking about it seriously for some time now. Inspite of managing a household and a family, I don’t feel very……how do I put it….very productive. Sometimes an emptiness overwhelms me and I can’t shake it off for days. Thinking of the children puts things back somewhat in perspective. Staying home to look after the children was good reason at that time when I quit. It’s still a good reason but now I realise they don’t need that much of my attention. Infact it will do them good not to have mother hovering near their elbow all the time.

I've been thinking of my parents too.

Truth be told I’m quite intimidated at the thought of starting all over again. Especially in these times when good jobs are quite hard to come by. 

But I have to try