Sunday 23 November 2008

Commentophobia

Every once in a while I find myself blog surfing. The sheer volume of content on a wide range of topics just makes my mind boggle.

Some blogs are awe-inspiring…..these bloggers’ feel so strongly about relevant issues of our times and spare no efforts to spread the awareness. Their posts tear into my insides & question my contribution to Society. They make me feel truly insignificant & guilty in turn. I just lack the guts to comment on their posts afraid I’ll make a fool of myself with my lack of knowledge.
I quietly add their link to Google Reader and visit them time to time updating myself of the subject & reading in awe the different views of commentators.

Then there are a few bloggers who attack one’s senses with their power over the English language. Their knack of twisting & contorting words to create a life-like scenario on their page is mind-blowing. They turn a simple everyday incident in their life into a rib-tickling riotous read which all of us can identify with. I read, I laugh, I wipe the tears off from my eyes but find myself dawdling in the comments section…..my fingers just don’t find the words to communicate that I found the post brilliant.

“This post is awesome” will make me sound like I’m gushing, like one of those teenagers who use the word 3 times in every sentence.

“Good post” may sound like I’m patronizing the blogger. Or maybe I’ll even come across as a bloggee who wants to generate some life into her comment box & so, is simply going around copying & pasting the same comment everywhere.

The straw which breaks the camel’s back is the 43 scintillating comments before mine, all so beautifully contributing & complimenting the post. I admit defeat & quietly exit the page without further ado.

But lately I have realized a few things. Long back I had watched an interview conducted on TV wherein the interviewer complimented a beautiful actress & then said depreciatingly that she must be hearing it a 100 times everyday. She laughed gracefully & said “That’s one thing we people in the limelight never tire of hearing”.

The way I see it the same logic applies here also. Each post put up for the world to see is precious in the eyes of the blogger. Any comment no matter how short, is appreciated by the blogger. These comments act as a boost & do wonders to their confidence. You do not have to agree with whatever is written there & can present a different viewpoint. Any blogger worth his salt will appreciate it.

Yes, there are many blog posts which don’t invoke any feeling inside you maybe because you can’t relate with it at all. But for every 1 post like that there are 3 others which do, but you don’t comment simply because of some block in your mind which in actuality doesn’t exist at all.

Take it from me.....the first comment is always the hardest. It gets easier after that.

p.s: This post is especially directed at all my fellow-bloggers who come via Google Reader or feeder from India, Norway, Japan, South-Asia Pacific, USA & Canada but leave without a word. Come on People, I'd love to hear from you:-).

p.p.s: The post is also targeted at my ‘close’ family & friends who will discuss at length the subjects in my blog through the phone or around the dining table but hesitate to put it in writing.

42 comments:

  1. Never knew people can put thoughts about blog into such nice lines... :) Since, the post is directed against few , i dont think i will intrude the privacy ;)

    Anyhow,as you said, a bloggers victory is what his/her supporters (read readers)give him, and without them, his will be another post... Though i feel that a brilliant blogger doesnt need others approval for shining out !!

    What say ?

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  2. Wowie! So beautifully said, and SO true. You definitely come in the "Then there are a few bloggers who attack one’s senses with their power over the English language. Their knack of twisting & contorting words to create a life-like scenario on their page is mind-blowing. They turn a simple everyday incident in their life into a rib-tickling riotous read which all of us can identify with." blogger category. Do I love your posts or what??? I know the feeling of people who know us, but never comment on the blog.;) Do you know, some people(relatives to be honest) use a proxy to check my blog three times a day, so that I would not find out its them, but I do! hehehehe. But I am flattered, simply because they read.
    I know this comment has gone too long, but really I love your blog, and though I sound repeatative, I usually say 'great post', but I do truly mean it. And this one is rocking as always.

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  3. I totally agree to you! God knows how I await comments on my blog.. though lately due to time constraints... have not tracked them regularly!

    Kudos! babes.. you choose the best topics to blog about :D

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  4. :) Finally found time to read. Well, I suffer from bouts of the commentophobia even now, while I visit my favourite bloggers. Even If I've been chatting with them on a daily basis and I see my blog-roll updated with a new post from them, its just hard to comment sometimes when I am overwhelmed by what has been put down in their words. I completely identified with this post of yours....fowarding it to a friend of mine who suffers from commentophobia :)

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  5. I understand what you are saying. Most of the people start blogging without knowing what to write, then surf around the pages, read, comment and then feel to write more. As you said, there are people with good vocabulary write so well, at times make you to refer dictionary. And slowly blogging becomes addiction. You make new friends (and foes too) without seeing how the person look like. It’s a good medium, it has got everything you want. Having done close to hundred blog elsewhere, I would say, more I read more I understand human emotions here. Like few bloggers I just wish to limit to post pictures and paintings only here.

    Feedback is really very good. You are throwing open to unknown people here. So, while expecting praises, you must be able to accept criticism too. As long as the whole interaction is mutually beneficial and cordial, I see this is the place where I can be, just me, without fear or favour.

    Why am I coming to your page????.........You have fantastic way of describing even a simplest thing more interesting. Whenever I need a laugh I recall your post on your “”Rat race””, that was hilarious. Keep writing Nancy.

    Calling all your “”close” relatives…..common guys, use this page to take revenge on Nancy( oh! No………Nancy is pulling her boxing gloves…………..me,hiding under desk)

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  6. Prashanth Sree: "i feel that a brilliant blogger doesnt need others approval for shining out !!"
    Oh yes, agree with u there but I definitely think Appreciation will not go amiss:-).

    Goofy Mumma: Ur comments as always manage to make me feel good. Thank U!!!
    Even I have a lot of friends & close family(my very own sister:-S)who profess to be very busy but ofcourse not too busy to check for new posts everyday:-S. I get so mad sometimes:-P.

    Winnie: Best topics???? Really???? Thank U!!!Now that we got that out of the way, lets get down to business:-P...how do u do this tracking thingie?????? I mean I have a sitemeter but that doesnt really help or is it just that I dont know how to get the best out of it:-(.

    SMRITI: Bingo.....so happy that my post moved u enoff to comment. Believe me when I say I still find it very hard to comment on some blog posts, especially for the first time.

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  7. You are a fantastic blogger! It's true that many people don't write comments but are happy to do the reading...and well no matter how many zillion comments you get, each one is precious.

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  8. Very well said and I too see a lot of visitors hovering by my blogs and I'd only wish that they had left their footprint by way of comments. At least it keeps us going otherwise the blogs would have it's own death...

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  9. Funny you'd say that because I think you leave the best comments. I love your comments. And I absolutely love love love your posts. Yours is one of my favorite blogs. I've referred readers here who might or might not have left a comment.
    Bottom line is, there are more visitors than commenters. I guess people come back and/or subscribe if they like the blog even if they never comment. Between you and me, I prefer a "silent" regular reader who actually likes my blog to the one who runs around pastes those cookie-cutter comments you described.
    Love your blog Nancy.

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  10. Very well articulated!!
    At least in my case, I can comment only when I can relate to the topic of a blog post. And when I do, I make it a point that I comment, even if I am visiting a blog for the first time!!

    I am recent visitor here, and I definitely find your writing interesting :)

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  11. u r good ..may i call u nancy? well i too go thru this phase, at times i read a post and go.come back reread and then comment..as for bloggers--god there are so many many many good ones...psssst u r one of them!

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  12. I totally agree! There r so many times I open the comment box and get so intimidated by the beautiful comments before mine that i just meekly close it and walk off!

    but yes, every single comment made - even if its just a "good job" feels awfully nice! :)

    And what is with close friends discussing the post to length but not bothering to leave comments! Its a universal problem i think!!

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  13. Well...you described it so well :)
    And yes, have added you on google reader. and you do have a good blog :)

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  14. how do u come up with such simple yet interesting topics to blog about is my question! really well written
    and i think every blogger would relate to this post.. even i am a lurker at many blogs that i religiously read but do not comment due to the exact reasons you have mentioned.. they are just awesome writers and my comment might be insignificant
    i will try and leave a comment from now on, however insignificant that might be:)

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  15. **my fingers just don’t find the words to communicate that I found the post brilliant.**

    This happens with me too...but I leave short comments...nd the logic you mentioned is very true...it really makes the blogger feel good about his/her writing.

    Cheers!

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  16. Maddy: read your comment with great interest and agree with u totally.
    And thank u for the compliments...:-D...does wonders for the ego.
    Ummm....why havent u divulged the link of ur other blog to ur readers;-o.

    Deeplydip: Agree with u...each one of those comments are precious unless ofcourse somebody is simply cutting & pasting comments in order to generate traffic to their site:-S

    Sukku: Yes I am consumed with curiosity as to who they are especially when I see them coming from places like Iceland, Faulklands on my traffic feed:-D

    Agnes: Really!!! REALLY!!!!...about my comments I mean:-o. Half the time I feel they r totally inadequate but I try:-P

    "I prefer a "silent" regular reader who actually likes my blog" So do I but the way I see it....they come to my blog coz they like my blog so chances are I'll like theirs too, so I want to read what they write:-D

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  17. Jira: Thank U:-))!!!
    "I make it a point that I comment, even if I am visiting a blog for the first time"
    ...and thts the way it should be.
    I'm gradually learning to do the same:-P.

    myspace: Ofcourse u can...what's there to ask:-o???
    U knw what??? Even I do the same sometimes. I go read first, then go back & comment. Sometimes if I see that there are no comments before mine, even then I hesitate;-P.

    Sunshine: Ur friends too:-o???? Let's stage a "Friends must comment" strike:-D

    Meira: Really???? Thank U :-D!!!!

    Ish: Hehe...I feel like u do. Sometimes I dont comment simply becoz I dont want them to come & check my page out coz they write such serious stuff & I write abt rats & putting salt in my mother's mouth:-P

    Prakhar: ur comments mayb short but u always capture the essence of the post beautifully & comment with humour. Thank U:-)!!!!

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  18. I believed words said is far more impressive than words written.
    I am still amazed as to how could you write on an unusual topic like that.
    Very well written.

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  19. Well said! And I am so glad you always comment on my posts :-)
    Makes me feel special.Well--kinda!;-)
    Cheers
    Preeti

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  20. Nancy, YES REALLY!!!!! Yes, about the comments. REALLY!!!!

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  21. i love ur posts but do not know what to comment most of the times..but keep those wonderful thoughts flowing in ur posts.

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  22. Every blogger can relate to what you have written........and what a beautiful way to describe the acts that most of us bloggers indulge in, after reading the post, and the comments....commentophobia is just the right word.

    I like your 'not so subtle suggestion' in the 'leave your comment' section above the comment box. You sure do enjoy the "One of the best posts I have read in a long time" bit BUT then which blogger doesn't??

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  23. Read this a day ago & was subconsciously trying to come up with "the words to communicate that I found the post brilliant". :D

    That's how it is for me with most of your posts, I need time to come up with a comment I hope is equally intelligent.

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  24. Good u wrote this. When I start blogging again, I am going to link this particular blog to reach out to the snoopers. Since u have put it so beautifully, I am going to just borrow it. :D

    Also, some time back u had written it as part of an article once, and i have been sincere abt it. It also owes to the fact that U can make out when I have visited ur page ;)

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  25. Anon: Manu, I'm honoured, also totally floored coz u r the last person who I expected would comment. Thank U....I know u took the effort to write bcoz u knew how much it mattered to me.

    To everybody else...Manu is my very good friend who discusses my posts with me on the phone but never could be convinced to comment....until today:-D

    Ps: When I read ur comment now, I remembered my comment to u almost a year ago wherein I mentioned how difficult I found to comment on some of ur posts....do u remember???? Infact I have been meaning to write this post from then;-P.

    Agnes: ;-o....seriously, half the time I dont recognise myself in ur comments. U must be seeing something in me that I myself dont know abt.
    But keeping them coming....I love it:-D.

    Anon: I dont know who u r but from the looks of ur lovely comment U come across as a friend.
    Thank U!!! Its kind words like these which keeps the blog world alive:-)

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  26. J P Joshi: Thank U sir!!!!!
    My not so subtle header above the comment box was written in desperation to prod the commentator into writing something.....anything;-P

    Shalom: "That's how it is for me with most of your posts, I need time to come up with a comment I hope is equally intelligent."
    I have to admit the situation is the same with me......especially in ur case:-o

    Bins: WHEN will u start blogging again is my question:-P????
    Yes I knw u have always been considerate & commented on almost all the posts. Thank U, it means a lot:-))!!!!

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  27. come collect your awards from my blog :D :D

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  28. hey reflections...what a coincidence, good that you found me...now I can read blogs of another wonderful person who seems to have some similarity in thoughts...and yes, will comment too...you know what, everyday I hopefully open my blog, praying for a comment, and when i found one, I almost yell out 'Hurray'!

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  29. Winnie: Thank U!!!!!!!! The rest of it has already been expressed at ur blog:-D

    Sindhu: Thank U!!!! And include me also in that "Hurray" category:-D

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  30. Well...I definitely thank you for leaving your comments on blog :-) I wish my friends and relatives would leave comments for me rather than discussing the post in detail when they chat with me :-)Btw you write well...it was a good post about commenting on the blogosphere

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  31. Well, as always your blog update has caused me to sit up and think. Seriously- I'm not just saying that- I found myself nodding- and smiling in acknowledgment to what you wrote- you always have an ability to 'connect' with me!!

    So...."Great blog entry" :)

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  32. SR: Thank U for the kind words!!!!
    I cant seem to enter ur blog.

    Anjuli: Thank U!!!! Yes I knw what u mean...ur posts do the same to me:-D.

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  33. Hi reflection :)

    Firstly this is not a comment just for the sake of it. I am no commentophobic and try my best to leave a few lines of motivation for the blogger but the last time i visited your blog i actually wanted to be a follower(of your blog) but then i didn't(the reason?? i cant explain chorry), your posts were real-life ones and few of them reminded me of the happenings in my house as well, and this post of yours has just impelled me to be a follower of your blog. You really rock(a little too much i know ;) ). I know this comment of mine is not going to do many wonders, but this is my little contribution.

    "One of the best posts I have read in a long time"... wow, this in fact is really easy!!!

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  34. so true... i always chek the blog i commented on again n again to c if the blogger as replied to my comment so i am sure i din make a fool of myself :)

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  35. My life: That was a lovely comment...Thank U!!!!
    Comments do give the blogger something to look forward to...sometimes inspiration for a new post even:-).

    sansmerci: Hehe I know what u mean. U dont have to worry about it at all....all comments recd from u are lovely. U speak ur mind that shows:-).

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  36. nancy
    this comes a bit late. i hope you will get to read all the books you wanted to. thank you for always leaving a comment in my blogs. it is appreciated. more than anything i'd like you to to know that as many others have already mentioned you belong in the second category and use the English language rather effortlessly to put your thoughts across. It flows calm and precise to the reader. Thanks for a keeping a good blog!

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  37. lan: Thank U!!!!!!!! Yes planning to catch up with a lot of reading amonst other things;-P.
    U r as always generous with ur words. Thank U once again.

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  38. So very well put. I can totally relate to what you have said.Came her through sindhu and am fortunate that I came across a fellow blogger who felt the same way I did. I have done a post myself on the very same topic,although I've not been as wonderfully expressive with my words as you have been. Yet do visit me here http://deeps-speakingup.blogspot.com/2008/11/why-do-you-leave-comment.html
    as and when possible.
    Thanks

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  39. Deeps: Thank U......u r very kind:-)).
    Will definitely come to ur blog soon. Am in the process of getting a broadband connection at home...till then commenting is going to take a back seat:-P

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  40. Now this post definitely makes me comment on it. What a topic to write on.

    I do sometimes suffer from the same. If I am not able to comment, I just bookmark the page and read the next time when the blogger updates it and then comment on both of them together.

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  41. Already so many comments are there that it really put me off to comment.

    But it is really Good and different post. Really appreciate your emotional intelligence.

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