Thursday 9 October 2008

A Pinch of Salt

My mom had the habit of sleeping in front of the TV. Those were the days when good old Doordarshan was the only channel available[atleast in my house]. Every Friday they used to telecast a-not-so-very-old Hindi Movie which we would eagerly wait for. At 10.00pm sharp every Friday night, the 3 of us ie. my father, younger sister & I would plonk ourselves on the sofa & watch. My mother would try to finish all her works by 10.45 before joining us.

I don’t know why she even bothered to sit up because she would lean back against the sofa & almost immediately go to sleep. She would get up with a start, during the advertisement break or new-break & ask us what is happening with the story. In the beginning we used to tell her but soon we got tired & asked her why she bothered because as soon as the movie restarted she would go back to sleep. But she never listened. She would continue to sit with us till atleast 3/4th of the movie was over & then finally admit defeat & go off to bed.

One such Friday night, my father had gone off on an official tour & it was only the 3 of us on the sofa with my mother sitting in the middle. As usual, she slept halfway thru the movie. My sister & I grinned, at the sight of her leaning back & sleeping with her mouth slightly open.

An evil thought occurred to me. I went out of the room quietly, came back with the salt-shaker from the dining table & slowly shook the salt into her mouth. It was quite a difficult task but I managed somehow. My sister shook her head at me warningly but she also couldn’t help grinning at the sight. We then, sat back to watch the movie. As usual, when the advertisements came on, my mother got up with a start. Both of us sisters looked at her with expectantly. She coughed slightly, swallowed, jumped off the sofa & rushed to the wash-basin to spit out the salt.

How we laughed…..we held our stomachs & laughed. She came back like a bat out of hell & gave me the beating of my life with her bare hands......THULP, THULP, SLAP, BANG, DISHKYAAOO.
I was a sitting duck………never in my wildest dreams did I think she was going to react so violently otherwise I would have run for cover. It had been ages since she beat me last.

Thru the beating I heard her shouting furiously “It was ok if she put a pinch for a joke, she's emptied the whole bottle into my mouth”…..THWACK, DISHKYAAAOO.

“Sorry, sorry…….I didn’t realize…………OWWWW SORRY” I wailed thru my tears.

My sister sat there looking like she was in terrible pain, trying to control her expressions valiantly before before giving up & spilling into peals of laughter at my sorry state.

Now for the audience question in Doordarshan program style:
What do you think of the whole episode?
And how old do you think I was, when I committed this dastardly act?

Edited to add: Answer is posted in the next post;-P

29 comments:

  1. well the episode was HILARIOUS!!!:D
    ofcourse for us, but poor u..hehe
    Nancy, u gotta way in which u narrate the old times, it brings back so many memoirs.. infact everyone who has grown up with doordarshan with relate to this post.. i got reminded of those weekends when DD was the only channel and we used to watch every B, C grade movies, sometimes even the ones in regional languages.. imagine :)
    ah yes, ur 2nd ques! mmm, 10 , 12??
    no one gets beaten up after that age :P

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  2. lol...this was fun...hehe...you would be 13-15 years at lst!
    loved the sound bits - dhiskiyaaon!now comes my question - how would you react if you were in your mom's place? haha

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  3. My grandmom has this habit!!! She can NEVER stay awake during movies .... so much so that my sis & me call her 'Sonu'.

    And this was hilarious....if we'd done this to my mom, I'm sure she'd have thrashed us royally too. About the age, hmmm....I'm guessing pre-teens???? 10-12???

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  4. naughty u!

    u must be like 12 years old :D

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  5. Hey that was so funny. What a cool prank to play!! Age would be twelvish i guess.

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  6. I guess what your mum did was right in a way....as I suppose she woke up with a bang....and a whole bottle of salt is I think way too much based on any standards...anyway it was good fun which you can always remember and that my friend is "priceless"...with or without the beatings....so remember what goes around comes around....so when you watch TV...do not doze off and also remember to keep your mouth closed....when you decide to take a nap in front of the telly....

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  7. LOLOLOL! Wow id never have the guts to try something like that...knowing my mom's penchant for thrashing the hell out of me!!

    I'm guessing you were early teens...13-14??

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  8. Hilarious:) but it evokes so many memories, we also used to have those saturaday nights, will bring a casette and uncle chips and coldrinks and sit down to watch the movie, me, my H and 2 kids, by the time all the chips and drink were finished, my h would invariably be sleeping:)
    I think u must be not older than 10, what say?

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  9. I once tried it with a cousin... was a big failure....:(

    Just imagined the scene.. ha ha it must have been funny!!

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  10. I think your mom shouldn't have beaten you up, afterall it was just 'salt'. A scolding would have been fine :). Were you about 10?

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  11. Once again you made me laugh loudly in the office in front of a PC. That's great. Sometimes while sleeping, when we touch some external thing or hear some sound, we dream some thing relating to that. Your mother also must be dreaming tasting an exccessively salty dish when you were pouring salt into her mouth. And then the reality dawned on her when she opened her eyes.

    I am once again laughing imagining you getting that thrashing.

    Naughty 10 years old girl.

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  12. Practical jokes sometimes backfire... still hitting someone is, especially a child is something I'd never do.

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  13. I think you were 14-15... You sure were a brat, Nance! hee hee... but this was so much fun to read! Your poor Mommee.... so sweet....

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  14. In fact... I think you must have been 14!!! Were you?

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  15. oh god..u hv left me in splits! hilarious!really funny..u hv a knack dear! u must be 16

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  16. Ish: Thank u....I think;-P
    Hehe oh yes even we used to sit thru the regional movies & I even managed to convince my mother(she didnt want us to waste time) I was learning a new language by watching it:-D

    deeplydip: hehe...thank u!!!
    I didnt have to think too much abt ur question...ofcourse I'll not be very amused if the kids did something like this:-P

    shalom: It was the Love Stories & Action movies which used to put my mom to sleep. Family dramas with Anil Kapoor, Sanjeev Kumar, etc she would stay awake till the end:-P

    winnie: oh yes, I was quite a naughty kid:-P

    goofy mumma: u think so:-D????

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  17. nancy,
    i was shocked that you would do such a thing to your poor mom. i hope you were only 5 or 6 at this time:-) but...the story was indeed fun to read.

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  18. sukku: "remember to keep your mouth closed....when you decide to take a nap in front of the telly...."
    the same thought occurred to me when I was putting up this post:-D

    sunshine: ur mother too, huh:-P????

    renu: oh yess....we used to do the pepsi & chips for the sunday 5'o'clock movie:-D

    abraham: Yeah I too thot it was really funny until those hardened hands desended on me heavily. Then suddenly it didnt seem so funny anymore:-(.

    priyanka: I too think my mother over-reacted;-P. But I guess it was shock which made her REACT!!!

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  19. sansmerci: hehe u think wrong...infact not anywhere near that age;-P

    balvinder singh: found it funny huh:-D......
    and oh yes what u said happens to me also - if I'm thirsty while sleeping then I dream tht I'm wandering place to place searching for water.

    agnes: usually my mother can be depended on to see the funny side of the situation but here I guess it was sudden shock which made her react;-P.
    And agnes...in India most people believe in "spare the rod & spoil the child" adage:-(

    wannabe: oh I was upto something always:-P....luckily for me the parents didnt know half of it....only times like these when I go put my hand in the lion's mouth:-(

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  20. oh nancy:) u r just too good with the words, u create magic:)

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  21. :) brought in a smile again. my i wouldnt ve dared doing it though!! poor mum! :)
    ya ya just got back the connection today, so just getting into the groove. just give me a day shall post the tag. promise!! :)

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  22. tulip: Thank U for visiting:-)...glad u found it funny:-P.

    lan: hmmm....my mom was as shocked as u:-( but nice to know u enjoyed my story:-P

    renu: u r very kind to me:-D... thank u!!!!!

    onlooker: Yeah, mom was shocked to say the least:-P. Glad u r back in action:-)

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  23. Well, I would kind of pin it at 15/16. At that age, u have the guts to pull thru with your ideas and face the consequences! Come what may! The fun age. But seriously... to ur mom, poor thing!

    But I betcha it was real funny at that time.

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  24. Well it started as a funny episode...then some drama...some action...nd then back to funny :D

    nd probably u were 12-13 at that time?

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  25. im more surprized at your mum hittin u at 22 rather than you 'saltin' her. :)

    i will never understand indian parents' ease with abusing their kids. it's our culture, it is said. blah.

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  26. Oh gawd.... this is the bestest joke ever!!!!!!!!!

    am laughing like a mad cap in here ;D

    Gawd.... Poor aunty!!! :P I liked the way you wrote " THULP, SLAP, BANG, DISHKYAAOO, THWACK" ha ha... you r jus hilarious...

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  27. Have read some of your posts. Love reading your blog.

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