I take a deep breath, chew my lips unconsciously & fight the demons in my mind…..do I have to???? Should I reveal it or not????
This past 1 year, especially the last 6 months have been wonderful. It was a whole new world out here for me. I met so many wonderful people thru my blog, learnt so many new things, opened my mind to new fundas, lived it up a little, felt almost like a celebrity when my comments hit 30, preened a little whenever anybody wrote “Good Post” & then some more when somebody else posted “oh Nancy, this was hilarious”.
How do I tell you, how much this blog & all of u mean to me? Seriously, none of you have any idea of the intensity of my feelings……you may not believe, but I suffer from severe stage fright. I am the kinds who cannot walk into my own living room if there are more than 6-8 people sitting there. People are usually surprised to see my better-half serving tea & snacks when they come visiting. The truth is that the pressure of 8 pair of eyes watching me walk in, just makes me break into sweat and soon the teacups start delicately tinkling in their saucers.
According to friends, I come across as reserved & sort of snooty at first but soon the ice melts & they suffer the effects of global warming…….now they don’t know which is worse.
At home, I give the kids stiff competition for the "loudest, noisest, crankiest......."award. They have in me a mother who dances with them when they are bored but also a mother who doesn't hesitate to smack them when they decide to 'REALLY' act up.
Sitting in front of a computer screen, it is easier for me to be what I am……I can 'almost' effortlessly write positive, humorous posts about the neighbours or the transportation system but when it comes to baring my heart I still have a long way to go......like how sans merci mentions towards the end of her recent post about her apprehensions of being judged. She just put across feelings I was unable to express until today.
To put it simply......I'd hate for U to think badly of me.......now that we interact regularly & are like good friends in our blog world….
Anyways I better get to the point …….all this while, I’ve been mustering up courage to reveal something which will probably change the way you will view me.
At first, I thought I just won’t tell you….simple enough isn’t it???? But then I realized I owe u…….I’ll be guilty of leading you on. You more than anyone else have the right to know the truth
At the risk of losing what little credibility I have, I confess……
I was 22yrs old when I committed the act in “A Pinch of Salt”
p.s: does it sound terrible:-(??????
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