Monday, 13 October 2008

Judge ye not.....

I take a deep breath, chew my lips unconsciously & fight the demons in my mind… I have to???? Should I reveal it or not????

This past 1 year, especially the last 6 months have been wonderful. It was a whole new world out here for me. I met so many wonderful people thru my blog, learnt so many new things, opened my mind to new fundas, lived it up a little, felt almost like a celebrity when my comments hit 30, preened a little whenever anybody wrote “Good Post” & then some more when somebody else posted “oh Nancy, this was hilarious”.

How do I tell you, how much this blog & all of u mean to me? Seriously, none of you have any idea of the intensity of my feelings……you may not believe, but I suffer from severe stage fright. I am the kinds who cannot walk into my own living room if there are more than 6-8 people sitting there. People are usually surprised to see my better-half serving tea & snacks when they come visiting. The truth is that the pressure of 8 pair of eyes watching me walk in, just makes me break into sweat and soon the teacups start delicately tinkling in their saucers.

According to friends, I come across as reserved & sort of snooty at first but soon the ice melts & they suffer the effects of global warming…….now they don’t know which is worse.

At home, I give the kids stiff competition for the "loudest, noisest, crankiest......."award. They have in me a mother who dances with them when they are bored but also a mother who doesn't hesitate to smack them when they decide to 'REALLY' act up.

Sitting in front of a computer screen, it is easier for me to be what I am……I can 'almost' effortlessly write positive, humorous posts about the neighbours or the transportation system but when it comes to baring my heart I still have a long way to how sans merci mentions towards the end of her recent post about her apprehensions of being judged. She just put across feelings I was unable to express until today.

To put it simply......I'd hate for U to think badly of that we interact regularly & are like good friends in our blog world….

Anyways I better get to the point …….all this while, I’ve been mustering up courage to reveal something which will probably change the way you will view me.

At first, I thought I just won’t tell you….simple enough isn’t it???? But then I realized I owe u…….I’ll be guilty of leading you on. You more than anyone else have the right to know the truth

At the risk of losing what little credibility I have, I confess……

I was 22yrs old when I committed the act in “A Pinch of Salt

p.s: does it sound terrible:-(??????


  1. not really!

    For there is no upper age limit for fun and umm childishness! I wish I could do something like that now! and I am 24 ;)

    Never let the child in you die! That I think is part of your charm :)

  2. well, what can i say? U were 16 too late! At 22 it must have been difficult to get thulped. Ouch! But what the heck, I am not going to judge u... Each to his own. I am just picturing u getting bashed up and I know ur mom's temper when it is aroused! Hee Heee Heeeeee!!!!

  3. oh gosh, i hv never met anybody in real/virtual(!) who is as incredible as u! u simply rock woman!

  4. oh gosh, i havent met anyone yet as incredible as u! u rock woman!

  5. No nancy, I can never think of u as a bad person:)Sometimes i myself wonder that what Image I have made of every blogger friend, what will happen if by chance i ever meet them, for u the first word that come to my mind is nice and caring:)
    and yeah never let the child die in u, its this feeling which makes the life so enjoyable:)

  6. Wow! What a post, so endearing, so honest. Well I am happy to know you played the prank at 22, that shows that you still had the child in you alive at an age, when most others become, sedate and even boring adults. keep them coming I say!

  7. 22 is the rite age i think :D i thought 13 is a lil juvenile .. so now i think good of u :P

    hey btw thanks for the lil mention of me in ur post.. like u said .. these things make us feel gr8 in blogsphere!

  8. Honest post! I guess everyone(unless they are a classic extrovert case) would suffer a degree of your symptoms.

    Takes courage to write something like this, so hats off to you! it doesent sound terrible.. just childish. I was expecting something like 16-18 though.

  9. that is such a sweet "aww" inducing post.. till one reaches the end.. LMAO
    nancy!! tell me ur kidding.. 22?? okay.. sawrie, am kidding ofcourse.
    its just that i left was away from home for many years by the time i was 22, and u know the treatment changes if one is away, else i am sure of getting the same reaction from mum if i did something like that.
    but that said, we certainly judge u not.. but 22? muahaha :D

  10. Oh, Nancy, this is the sweetest post ever. You're a wonderful girl, it totally comes through.

    Don't worry about what the 7 or 8 people in the room think of you. You don't have to humor everyone. People who aren't engaged in worthwhile activities tend to spend their energy judging those who are.

  11. Well, I think everybody guessed 12 or 13, because you said that your mom beat you. Its funny that your mom beat you when you were 22!!
    There's nothing wrong in doing what you did at 13 or 22, it was just a practical joke.

  12. I'm laughing so hard!!! 12-22-42- hey you guys had fun it it was a great practical joke!!!

    Love you all the more for this revelation. :)

    Did you get my postcards yet? Let me know when you do!

  13. You are as cute as I always thought you were! :D I can understand doing something like that at 22...I'm sure with the right company, I'd still love to be crazy and silly and childish!!! But getting whacked at 22..isa little too much! hee hee....

  14. lol!! I was thinking how can your mother beat you so much if you were very young. You had to be old enough to be running around and handle the beating :)
    No question of judging. This was really cute and naughty stuff :)

  15. Lololol! Nancy don worry a bit! I would do the same in a second today and im 22 as well! ;)

    You are a wonderful person and I think everyone comes with some form of armour in front of people. Its only in the private spaces of our home that we can let go completely and be ourselves! So dun berate yourself for a truly normal thing to do! :)

    P.S I hate to walk into a room with everyone staring at me as well! One of the reasons i have to reach early for any event! I cannot stand the multiple eyes staring at me when I walk in late!!

  16. Winnie: All of u assumed tht I had to be around 11 or 12 tht I felt a bit silly:-P

    bins: oh yes my mom is doubts abt tht but she stopped taking the stick on us sisters when I entered my teens:-).

    tulip: I'll take that as a compliment....Thank U:-)

    renu: u always say things which make a lot of sense to me. Thank U:-)

    goofy mumma: Here I was feeling so dumb to put up this post & u make it sound so normal:-P

  17. hahaha....terrible no no...but sure funny....nd daring too :D

    nd confessing takes some courage too :)

  18. sansmerci: Hehe...u r just saying it to make me feel better:-D.
    And dont mention it....that part of ur post made a lot of sense to me.

    abraham menacherry: Yeah even husband who knows me inside out said 19yrs:-D...yeah he was close.

    ish: I must say...u have the knack of reading my post exactly how I wrote it OR it is just that u know how to compliment a person. I prefer to believe the former:-P

    agnes: Thank U!!!! Yeah, I have to develop a thick skin tho I'm much better than before:-).

    priyanka: Yeah I think even my mom surprised herself:-D. coz all the physical stuff stopped when I entered my teens. I guess the combination of disturbed sleep, unexpectedness of the joke & to top it being laughed upon just brot out the worst:-D.

  19. anjuli: glad u had a good laugh:-D
    Nope didnt receive it as yet..expecting anyday now:-D

    wannabe: seriously when I think back must have been a funny sight:-D. It didnt even occur to me to run away then. And my poor mom I think she was the one most surprised at the end of it.

    deeplydip: Heehee maybe....just maybe I exaggerated a teeny bit. dont mistake me, i did get whacked 2-3 times but mayb I got carried away a bit while writing abt it;-D

    sunshine: u too??? really??? u knw in such cases I wait for somebody else to come & then walk into the room behind tht person:-D

  20. haha i swear i do the same at times!!! how can ppl walk in late and like being the center of attraction!!! *shudder*

  21. :) a great confessional post. i would think the first half of the post had to do with more soul bearing than the latter half! it takes guts to open up, and tell about your true self, the parts you dont relish much! great that you have a lovely circle of friends, but then again, its because you are the way you are! :) Wishing you many more lovely moments in Blogdom !

  22. Hey, I've been told I make the same sort of first impression.....except I got "aloof" instead of "snooty" :) In fact, all of us, mom, dad, sis, hubby make similar first impressions. Only those who really know us well know the absolute craziness that's there beneath the reserve :D Actually, the craziness is kinda a khandaani trait, and one we're damn proud of!!!

    My mom is still the kind of mom you describe urself to be (& though both her daughters are in their 20s, she would say that they act your daughters' ages :D :D) And when my time comes, I hope I am a mom like that too!

    No judgements at all....this is ur blog, ur space & if u can't let the madness out in ur private space - blog or home - where else can you???

  23. I read this post first then the previous one.
    I felt really bad for your mom. Poor thing makes such an effort to stay up with you all, despite being ready to doze off and what does she get in return?
    I'd have killed you had you done something like that to me :)
    Ok relax--it was a long time back--but i do wonder how you would have felt had you been at the receiving end.
    Sorry for being to darn honest,Nancy !!

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  25. prakhar: thanks...oh yes confessing does take some courage:-(.

    sunshine: I think the very same:-o...*shudder, shudder*

    onlooker: Yes u bet it did...writing down my failings did take some effort & will power:-(

    shalom: "No judgements at all...."
    aaaah we think alike:-D. Even I dont judge anybody for their actions coz I believe that there is somebody higher up who has the authority to do so & the power to deal with it.

    ps: "I'd have killed you had you done something like that to me :)"
    Seriously!!!! ur reaction kinda shocked me. I then thot wht i'll do to my kids if they did it to me....
    ofcourse I wd have gotten mad & given them a dose so they will never think of doing it again(like my mom did:-D) but a strong reaction like wdnt even enter my mind.
    And I didnt see any reason not to publish ur comment. Everybody has their own opinions...if I publish a post like this, I shd be prepared to see all kind of reactions:-P.
    Once again congratulations for ur book!!! wishing u the very best life has to offer:-)

  26. nancy, you just grew up a little too late! this is actually a good thing for it keeps you younger. i believe u r a caring and kind person and kudos to you for the well presented story and for actually telling it.

  27. lan: how do u do it???? u always manage to write exactly what I want to hear:-D

  28. :) :) :)I'd really have killed ;-)


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