Wednesday 13 January 2010

The baddest words of them all

Nikita: Mama what is the meaning of f***????

Mama[shocked]: Where did you hear this???

Nikita[8yrs]: I've seen it written on the walls.

Naina[6yrs]: And the big boys in the bus are using it all the time??? Is it a bad word???

I take a deep breath. I was expecting this question but not so soon. How am I supposed to explain a word like that to my children?

“Yes it is a bad word. Dont ever use it when u speak” I explain.

“Then why are those boys using it??? Are they BAAD boys????” asks Naina eye-eyed.

“No they are not bad boys, they are saying it unknowingly. Maybe their parents did not tell them not to use it like I have told u. Well-brought up children NEVER use that word in their conversations” I stressed.

They were impressed with the gravity of my tone and nodded vigorously to everything I said. I wasn't sure whether it was the right thing to say but that was all I could come up with at the spur of the moment.

Almost a week later….

“Mama today was a terrible day !!!! Momataasim said the BADDEST thing to me in class today” said Naina tearfully to me when she came back from school.

Momataasim* was Naina’s classmate who according to her was the baddest boy in the whole world & the bane of Naina’s existence. I looked at her concerned, hoping he didn’t use a bad word whose meaning I didn’t even want to think about let alone explain “You should just ignore these things. What did he say???”

Naina hesitated for a few minutes & after a bit of cajoling mumbled “He said 'I love You' to me!!!!”

People, u should have seen my face….I don’t know what I was expecting the BAAD word to be but it was not certainly this. My child was looking at me very miserably as if she was part of something very shameful.

I couldn’t help it, I burst out laughing. And Naina looked at me surprised.

I then controlled myself and explained gently “Naina its ok. He likes you and wants to be friends with you & so he told his feelings in the only way he probably knew. The next time he tells you something like this why don’t you tell him that you’ll be friends with him???”

“But mama I don’t like him, I don’t want to be friends with him” cried Naina miserably.

“Naina, please don’t say things like that. All your classmates are your age & only if you be friends with them will you enjoy going to school.”

2 days later….

Naina gets off the school bus in a foul mood.

“He wants to be doctor” bursts out Naina as soon as we reach home.

“Who, what???” asks Mama confused.

“Teacher asked what we want to be when we grow up and Momataasim wants to be a doctor” cries Naina almost in tears.

“So” Mama looks befuddled.

“You know I want to be a nurse when I grow up & now with him going to be a doctor he’ll be irritating me all my life” wails Naina frustratedly.

The penny clicked and I started grinning automatically but quickly controlled my amusement coz I knew my daughter would not take kindly to my laughing at her predicament.

“Naina, there are so many hospital in Dubai, we’ll find out which hospital Momataasim works in and then we’ll choose another hospital for you to work”.

The tears cleared magically and she looked happier.

Later when I called Naina’s teacher up regarding some matter I enquired about the boy who was giving my daughter no peace. And what do u know, Momataasim according to her, was a smart little boy who stood first in class and participated in all the activities…..yes ofcourse he was naughty but then all boys that age were naughty weren’t they???

I was impressed & thought wryly that I knew something else which the teacher didn’t – he also had good taste in women.

A few days later….

“Mama you know what Momataasim did today, whenever I turned back to look he would place his hands around his mouth and whisper “I Love You” Nobody can hear it but I can make out.” said Naina irritatedly.

“Naina if he bothers you that much why do you turn back to look. Just ignore him” I told her sensibily.

Dont know why but I was beginning to get a bit edgy. Though I laughed & handled the Naina-Momataasin episodes casually, inwardly I was quite concerned. If they were teenagers I could understand the raging hormones and deal with it accordingly……no I don’t harbour hopes they’ll listen 100% but atleast the matter could be discussed. These are just 5 and 6 yrs old and they are exchanging conversations like this.

I am under no illusions about my kids……..though they are still untouched by the real ways of the world, they know far more than I did when I was their age. For instance, almost a year back on the way back home from the bustop they found a torn piece of pink cardboard[a toy wrapper I guess] which had www.barbie.com printed on it. They badgered me continuously for a week before I gave in & registered them there. They also know most of life's little problems can be solved by a webpage called Google. Now they tell me there is something called 'u-tube' which has all sorts of fun stuff which they can watch. As of now I have pronounced u-tube as unsafe, something which produces a dangerous virus which attack computers & renders them completely useless. Nikita smells a rat but is not confident enough to argue. But I know very soon that they’ll catch me out.

Children nowadays are exposed to a lot. And in my opinion the television is the main culprit…..the vividly coloured images of scantily dressed women & men gyrating to music, sports like WWE which encourage them into thinking punching eachother is cool, advertisements like fairness beauty-creams and a few biscuit ads are so suggestive that it sickens me. Dammit, its just a biscuit….there are so many ways to present it, what is the need to add a sensual angle to it. Makes me yearn for those Doordarshan days.

And it’s not like I let them watch anything & everything. They get 1 hr of tv suited to their age-group every other day but I’m quite disappointed that barring an odd one or two, I cannot watch a single English or Indian movie in their presence. Every film either has either embarrassing physical demonstrations of love or violence or ghosts or….the list goes on.

To a certain extent living in a safe place like UAE calms my fears. It’s an Islamic country  which lives by a moral code[far more relaxed than most] & expects all the people living in it to adhere to it. Many find it restricting but the average family finds it comforting. The crime rate is quite low compared to many countries, scenes containing nudity in movies are deleted, communication lines like the internet provide information freely but at the same time block a lot of unwanted sites. Ofcourse those who want to will find ways to access it but an average child will not be able to find it immediately.

Nurturing children in a safe and secure environment until they find their feet seems to me like an unrealistic dream. Ofcourse I’m not expecting a utopia kind of life and also know there is no point comparing it to our times....but is it so naive of me to expect a reasonably stree-free environment for my children.
But like they say, Change is the only constant thing in our lives. It’s not easy but we have to learn to deal with it as it comes. So deal with it, we will!!!!

Coming back to the worrying problem which set me off on this track….

Almost a week passed by and when there were no more complaints forthcoming, curiosity prompted me to ask…

“Is Momataasim behaving himself now???”

“Oh Taasim is ok Mama, he is actually very nice. I shared my mentos with him today” says Naina casually.

“Huh….when did Naina start calling him Taasim” wondered Mama nervously.

“How come you are saying nice things about him now???” I ask cautiously.

“He’s helping me do all my tests correctly. Shall I also tell him I love him Mama???”

I groped for the nearest chair and sank weakly into it.

“My class is so boring compared to Naina’s" Nikita’s voice wistfully floated from across the room

..
..

I know, I know this is just the beginning.


*his name is spelt differently but I’ve written it like how Naina pronounces it

101 comments:

  1. Hahaha...I love this dialogue between you and Naina. The wonderful thing is the innocence and humor of this which comes through given her age.
    I guess as long as the dialogue between you and your daughters is open and you can talk about things it will never be a problem.
    They will find their own feet as they keep growing :-).
    BTW thanks for the award...

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  2. I guess as long as the dialogue between you and your daughters is open and you can talk about things it will never be a problem.
    Hoping for the same but its going to be a long rocky road;-P
    My pleasure:-))!!!!

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  3. Sheesh. You are scaring me. My kid will turn 1 this month. By the time he is 5-6 yrs old, surely things wont get any better. Kids these days!!

    Btw, what you said about Dubai is so true. Some find it offending and others may criticize but it is also benefiting us in many ways.

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  4. Dont mean to scare u Masood but boys start off much much earlier than girls;-D

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  5. This was so cute and innocent and just the beginning of things to come.

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  6. he he he... can't stop laughing. Though I guess, I can only laugh for so long, my kids are growing up.

    Mottasim became Tassim, :) Blame yourself, you were the one to teach her that I Love you is not bad... he he...

    I'll tell my daughter to whack his head next time he says that :P

    And you're so right about Dubai, I feel kids in my building are still better than kids in my colony in India. Those kids back there today know the meaning of MMS even before they know that our prime minister's name is MMS as well.

    I just hope we can keep them away from this stuff for as long as possible. But I guess, this is just wishful thinking.

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  7. Your daughters are the cutest lil angels ever! :):)
    A very happy 2010, Nancy! And thanks a ton for the award! :) Pleasantest surprise ever, considering that I`ve been away for the longest time now.. :) you just made my day!

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  8. Gee I wrote a long comment and it disappeared as I hit the submit button... !sigh...

    I was too startled to actually react... I ask my son a lot what happens but he rarely says much... ! he is 5 and half too... ! now I wonder !!!!!

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  9. Gee I wrote a long comment and it disappeared as I hit the submit button... !sigh...

    I was too startled to actually react... I ask my son a lot what happens but he rarely says much... ! he is 5 and half too... ! now I wonder !!!!!

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  10. This is a very cute post!!! Loved every bit of it :)

    Kids these days are very smart... You should listen to the talks of my 6-year old cousin... Ghosh!!! Its very difficult to answer her queries... But, I guess they learn to stand on their feet very soon!!!

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  11. Haaa Loved this post alot. The sweetest thing on this earth is the innocence of children. May be thats the reason I love children sooo much.
    Here in this case you dont have to worry a lot. They are still very innocent to know all such big big words. Now You need to just relax and build up the way they communicate with you more freely. Later when the time comes you can actually explain them as a friend but not as a mother.

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  12. Oh Nancy- how I enjoyed this bit of communication- and your beautiful way of 'handling' everything-- also agreed with your insights.

    It is great you have communication- this is the main thing which keeps me sane with my kids- I tell them- I don't care what the subject is, I just want to be a part of it.

    Your girls are adorable- inside and out- and you definitely have some interesting days ahead :)...as my husband says, "Where is my shotgun"! hah!

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  13. hahahh. So did you tell her to go ahead and tell Taasim that she loved him too ?
    I cannot imagine children at age 6 knowing so much !!! My friend here has a boy who is 7 and he is soo smart in more ways than I am :(

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  14. heheheh Naina is so sweet! She is so innocent.. i liked the way you handled things :) good job!

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  15. Wow !! Loved the conversations you have with your girls. I remember when me and my sister used to laugh and tell stories of our school everyday to my mom.
    At the same time, it makes me realize what a huge responsibility being a parent is !! When to intervene, when not, when to put limits and when not, so much to decide :-)
    Nice post !! Loved it.

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  16. Awwww... she is SO adorable! As for 'I love you' my niece (who is now in her 10th class) when she was in 3rd stnd was watching a song in Kamoshi (Manisha Koirala one) said " chee amma she is not wearing her body (body is a coll. word meaning bra)" Now how she learnt what a body is God knows! My cousin ignored it completely saying, if you give them importance they tend to do it more. That was true my niece never said that again. Well, things like fck sigh..I dread my kid asking me what it stands for :|

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  17. That was so cute! And scary to be honest! Kids these days! So 'I love you ' is the baddest of them all :) Thank god for that :) You know, right now, daughter is in the phase where girls are good and boys are bad - I just wish in vain that it would continue way past their teenage years :)

    But you are right about exposure, they seem to pick up so many things! A friend of mine was shocked when her 6 yr old's friend started talking about boyfriends! That really freaked her out. I mean I can understand if that happened when they were teenagers but at 6 and 7 it was scary!

    Your girls are so sweet! And it is wonderful that they talk to you! I just hope I am able to get daughter to talk to me too.

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  18. :O kids these days! i'm scared to even think of what's gonna happen in a few years from now... everything's so fast lol good thing is, as long as they talk to you, you can sort it all out :)

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  19. kids say the darnedest thing... but they r so cute and yet worrisome. as u nailed, if their hormones are active at this age, imagine what they could do when they reach 12. actually nowadays girls have been getting their period by the age of 9 no longer 12 years old onwards...

    and with the technology ... it's just so hard to contain the environment for the children. even if u don't let your child surf something the child will get information on various things from their friends.

    i guess as parents, they could just hope their children can differentiate what's good and not based on what they r taught from home.

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  20. awww that is sooo adorable!!! but like everyone has said before its more imp that you've got a communication channel open...Naina will learn in time whats right & whats wrong and till then you can monitor what she does only if she speaks to you about everything...

    so im curious...what did u reply to her last question? should she say 'i love you' back to tassim?? :P

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  21. I know exactly what you mean! Has been having a series of discussions with my son regarding a certain finger and the f*** word. KIds are a constant source of entertainment and concern at the same time.
    Happy New Year to you and all at home, Nancy. Thank you so much for following up on me without fail, you made me feel so wanted. As your punishment, next time you are in Bangalore, you are going to be taken to a house in te corner and be sentenced to death by......you know what :-)
    Thanks for the award too!

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  22. First ROFL at all the Momataasim incidents !!! The kids are so cute and adorable !!!

    Nancy, I've gone thru this first stage and I know its not easy !!!!
    One wrong move and wrong expression, will make a lot of difference.

    See, as responsible parents, we teach our kids the right and wrong things, but not many parents are in a position to tell them all. So, it creates an imbalance. While, some kids think its cool to use such bad words, our kids dont. My daughter started preaching the good things in life, as learnt from me, to her friends using bad language. And all she got was dirty stares. They refused to play with her. So, I had teach her things differently, so that she doesn't go and preach others - thereby she has ppl to play with.

    Right, too much exposure !!!! After watching 3 idiots, I was forced to explain to my younger daughter the way childbirth happens. I had planned to talk abt it to her, later. But this movie made me do the explanation immediately.

    I love you,too,Naina and Nikita !!! You both are such darlings !!!! Take care and have fun !!!!

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  23. Lovely post....:)...i loved the way conversation flowed bw u and the two kids...:)...childhood innocence...:)...i can understand ur cncerns....i guess parents in every generation face this....

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  24. hahahahaha...

    i know, i know, i should be feeling sorry for you but this was so very funny...and well written too...

    got me chuckling all the way through!

    happy parenting..there's more to come

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  25. 'Mommatassim' is so cute... hee hee... I share most of your problems and concerns..but no solutions! We watched 3 idiots last weekends...It is an amazing movie...but I was at my wits end how I would explain the meaning of 'balatkar' to my daughter...and then she wanted to know what is 'gay'! We were laughing so much that she felt worried she was missing some major jokes...poor thing!

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  26. awwwwwwww.. :)
    mommy tribulations!!! Ur blog always gives me a new perspective to look at things.. :)

    Naina's perspective is all i have seen in my entire life :) I am sure she'll have a lot of fun when she reads ur blog after a few years :)

    Keep writing <3

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  27. Nancy...this was really cute and endearing. True that we cannot control the paths our children take but we can guide them and then leave the decision up to them. Most importantly, I think you should know that you are doing the right thing by them by encouraging more dialogue. I agree the ads today are really getting to be a little sickening, most especially Titan Fastrack's "Move On" theme. I think though, in your heart, you know your children will not go wrong :O)

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  28. Awwww! Something of the sort happened between my sis and niece. She came back home angry one day and when sis asked her, she said the same... that a boy told her that he 'loves' her n stuff. :D Kids nowadays are VERY filmy! ;) When she tried to ignore him and walk away, that guy put a hand in front of her to block her path! Then she just went away using the space beneath his hands.. What did she do after that ? Went straight to principal's room and complained. And she's only 7!!!! :D bwahhaha...

    You're right. It's not easy to watch programs on TV with kids anymore. The biscuit thing - I so agree with! Gross really. Everything needs to have a sensual angle to it nowadays to succeed. Sad.

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  29. You hardly ever write posts that don't leave me with a smile on my face, and Thank God for that. My God, the trials and tribulations of being a parent.... Indeed i wondered too what the BADDEST word would be. You handled it so well, I would have absolutely not known what to do.
    And touchwood, but UAE is indeed quite safe, hope it remains that way!!

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  30. think convincing children is the hardest part...it requires so much skill and patience...appr tht:)

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  31. Geee ... u hv already scared me Nance :P

    He he ... enjoyed this conversation so so much :) U hv two darling daughters and u r one cool mom ... loved hw u hd simple answers to all their qs :)

    N now, plsssss make a trip to where me n Bins stay before the grow up some more :P

    N now lemme say the baddest thing ... I luv u all u 3 N's ;)

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  32. OMG...that's such a cute post!

    all the best naina...go 4 it! :D

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  33. What I loved most -- Naina claiming her love for someone whose name she still lisps !!! Waah .. Pyaar ho toh aisi ;-D So darn funny & super cute.

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  34. Elizabeth: ;-D

    Rakesh: "I'll tell my daughter to whack his head next time he says that :P"
    LOL I was just wondering how u were going to respond;-D

    Piper: Hope it also tells u that Blog friends on breaks are not forgotten....I'm glad u like it;-D

    Hitchwriter: Each child is different, dont worry ur head too much about it. I'm sorry the loong comment vanished;-(.

    Tanushree Pillai: Thank U:-))!!! Yeah kids these days know too much...its good but it has its own short-comings;-P

    Asif: Thank U for ur kind words:-))!!!

    Anjuli: LOL ur husband really says that;-D
    yes agree about the communication bit of it....esp since it gets tougher as they grow up.

    Prashanti: No ofcourse not!!! I told her to be nice to him and be good friends;-P

    Doli: Thank U;-D!!!!

    Dil se: Exactly & we must take great care not to OVER-react;-o

    SJ: LOL;-D!!!! Children have very sharp ears. And ur sister is absolutely right...there's no need to react to every question they ask.

    Smitha: oh my daughters are also in the "girls are good and boys are bad" mode. Mommataasim seems to be an exception;-o.
    I'm sure ur daughter will Smita....u have a beautiful relationship with her, it shows so clearly when u blog about her:-))

    Snow: LOL dont worry, it will all go according to plan....and well too. If I, a person who cdnt stand kids can deal with 2 of them now, u who likes kids will be an awesome mother;-).

    Renaye: Oh I dont think its about hormones here...at this age they are just enacting their favourite hero in a tv serial or a movie. Take the example of Barbie movies....every movie has her getting married to her prince at the end. The kids begin to believe that everything has to end that way:-(.
    On a happier note, welcome to my space Renaye:-))!!!

    Sunshine: LOL first I told her to stop taking help from Tassim...u see she was feeling obligated since he was helping her out with the assignments. And the best part is she knew all the answers herself;-/.
    I told her to be a good friends with Tassim and words like Love were used by bigger people like Barbie;-P

    Wanderlust: Good to see u back;-D. Hope u r not going to do ur disppearing act agin;-P

    Umsreflections: "So, I had teach her things differently, so that she doesn't go and preach others - thereby she has ppl to play with."
    I really understand what u mean here;-/.
    U know I dont let my children drink fizzy drinks. Nikita used to go upto the parents of the kids who drank & told them pepsi is bad for kids;-D. I had to stop her from doing even though she was right;-P
    Thank U Uma for the guidance:-)!!!!

    Deepti: As long as the conversation flows I believe most of us can handle it. When it stops is what I'm worried about...and stop it will I know, when they reach a certain stage;-P

    Suma: Thank U!!!!
    And dont remind me;-P.

    WannbeWriter: I knew it... I just knew it...that u'll find Mommataasim cute;-D
    Seriously there is not a single hindi movie[except for a odd taare zamin par] that I can sit with the kids and watch;-/

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  35. S: Hehe I'm going to keep the blog as far away as I can & as long as I can away from them....dont want to remind them of stuff which will give them ideas;-D

    Shades of Grey: "I think though, in your heart, you know your children will not go wrong :O)"
    I guess every parents wants to believe that....but personally I feel its foolish to completely trust ur child coz they are also feeling their way about in the world and will make a few mistakes. We have to keep our eyes peeled;-o!!!
    I too cant stand the Fastrack ad...whatever are they thinking;-S

    Dhanya: Wow ur niece is brave;-D!!!! It did occur to me to complain to the teacher then I decided against it coz we all know there is nothing much in this 'love story';-D

    Passionate Goof: If somebody else were writing abt this on their blog I too wd have thought that I wdnt know what to do in such a situation. Motherhood is such that we are feeling our way thru it all our lives....but we manage dont we;-D

    brocasarea: Oh yes, u r dead right abt tht, seriously they dont swallow tall tales like how we used to in our childhood;-(

    Swaram: Oh its not so bad all the time....and since they are still so small its quite amusing really;-D. But still we are constantly surprised how much their tiny minds can grasp.
    Anytime we make it to Bins place u bet we'll come over to urs;-D

    Blunt Edges Aha feeling very brave are we, sitting so far away & giving advice;-/

    Lostworld: All the ones who are not married are aaahing and ooohing over the post. Only the ones who have kids are shuddering;-P

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  36. ROFL at "Tassim". Aha so that is the key to understanding if the emotions have changed. The name is chopped off and called out sweetly. I will look out for these signs. I am hoping and praying to god that your daughters ask all the questions before my son does so that I can just replay your answers to him :)

    Sigh!! now you know why I try to find solace in the laps of blogs. My son is getting too much smarter for his size 7 pants. He already likes girls and that too has a preference for blonds *can you hear my heart pounding at the speed of light or whatever?*. Has been asking me all sorts of questions which is beyond PG rating. Damn we took him to watch 3 Idiots because we thought it would be the safest movie to watch with a 5 year old. And guess what? the only thing he noticed was the word Balatkaar and that you have to push so hard and will need a Vacuum Cleaner to get a baby out :(

    I totally totally agree with you on Dubai. It is worth it when the channels are blocked as we don't have to worry about certain unexpected body parts popping up or locking up together while surfing for cartoons.

    Both your daughters are so adorable and it's good to see that they do confide in you regarding worldly matters of out most importance *giggles*.

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  37. cute post... Naina and Nikita are awesome and so are you.. Naina's friend Taasim really seems to be a smart kid. Love reading your posts.. kinda make me imagine how my future would be..

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  38. I know I am repeating myself but your girls are plain adorable, Nancy.

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  39. Hey Nancy,

    Super funny post.
    But in reality i guess this incident has kept you thinking. I guess UAE is definitely lot better than India to grow up but at some point of time the children would be exposed to everything and making them understand the do's and dont's then is the most important thing is this world and how they understand it is critical.

    :)

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  40. wow.. very lovey post..Enjoyed the conversation.

    The increasing crimes in India seriously scares me. I dont know in what all the ways kids has to be trained to win the battle of life..

    Just loved this post..

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  41. Hi Nance, This has got me worried too:(
    Well on a lighter note it is really cute. i think my daughters will also start to say such dialogues too soon, but the younger one is too young only 2+.

    take care
    Rekha

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  42. Though its sweet reading about the discussion, it sounded scary :|

    As u said kids today are being exposed to much more than what we had been exposed to.. Hope this change is for good.

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  43. that is so cute! u got me laufin out loud! love the way u present conversations with ur kids :) this reminded me of one of my fav blog.. i guess u wud b readin her too.. inexplicably :) http://slipperysurface.blogspot.com/

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  44. Deja Vu

    Nancy please read this post and go through the links too. How similar. After all u both are mothers of little daughters. But u have handled the situation well. It is just a passing phase. But yes keep the communication lines open

    now please read this and exchange notes.

    http://slipperysurface.blogspot.com/2008/11/what-happened-to-raj.html

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  45. Oh! Gosh.. you did scare me :S hmmm yea too many things are out in the open for kids these days :S
    but ur daughter is an ulti cutie :) and i loved the way she deflected to Tassim from the full name :D hehe

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  46. ohh my goodd!! no wonder sunshine was braggin bout you soo soo much.. i'm the new BOY here.. started bloggin just recently. first of all, how in god's holy name do you manage to reply to all of us guys..?? hats off!!!

    your daughters are the most awesomest things in this whole wide world, are'nt they?? i have 2 nephews, both of them 7 yrs old. i'd see the world end before i see them hurt. like you say, i bein their uncle, all untoward questions r bought up to their KAKA.. inspite of all this, they've never even heard a single gali in their whole life. these guys r studyin 50 kms away from churchgate stn.. i simply cant understand why r these things happenin outside india.. ofcourse i think of these boys as my own kids.. may be i am missin something..

    ps: your blog is awesome..

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  47. A part of me wanted to rofl, but another part of me was screaming, "nahiiiiiiii" at the thought of having a similar conversation with my daughter some years down the line.

    (And this is really ironic, considering I just finished a post where one of the things was about trusting God.) I guess if we truly trust in Him, and raise our kids according to His principles, they'll be ok. There's definitely going to be these jhatkas along the way, but I believe despite everything, they'll turn out fine.

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  48. God help us. I really pray sincerely that we keep our sanity and have the patience and knowledge to deal with our kids. Yes I pray this every night. Parenting is really is difficult in today's times.

    Though the incidents that u wrote about were hilarious at first, I understand the undertones. I find it tiring to find the right answers to their questions. And TV, don't even get me started. I really wish there was some tool to block out ads. Though the program might be safe, you cannot say the same for the ads.

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  49. Aww...that's a wonderful account of what all goes on in your and your lovely kid's lives.

    I couldn't help but smile at the beautiful way you captured your dialogues with your little daughter with all the emotions.

    Keep up the awesome work Nancy :D

    Cheers!!

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  50. I'm not going to comment on the serious part of it but that had me rotfl!! And you put it so well to :)

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  51. I love Naina Vava!

    You are handling the situation so wonderfully Nancy. Hats off to you.

    I guess, the boy must be grwoing in a situation where the F*** and bad words are used in common either at home or with friends. I am sure you might have told about his usuage of language to his teacher. Atleast she might tell the boy's parents( probabaly they might not aware too)

    You have said it rightly. We can't watch movies these days with our children.But we need to handle with care. As someone pointed out, I am sure you will have open and wonderful conversation with your angels.

    While agreeing with you about the Situation under control in Dubai, recent news about the little boy molested and murdered in mosque and another one in Bur Dubai, I wonder what kind of people we have in this place.

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  52. Lol!
    Oh the wonderfulness of being born a girl :)

    I know it's not that easy but I think you're dealing with them so well. God bless you when they reach their teens! ;p

    And I agree UAE is so much safer - atleast where information is dessiminated, atleast for now.

    Chill, and do tell Naina to act pricey, girls never say 'I love you' to boys easily...lol!

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  53. Hey Nan,


    Do visit me at the new address:-)
    Btw, I just saw your post regarding AOL course. Have you done it yet

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  54. oops..

    forgot to sign off in the previous comment.

    Its me Cool_moon

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  55. oddly enough my son told me about the same word and we had a healthy (i think) conv on it and i opened up to read this! well put. i have found out that regardless of how we control the info, kids will learn through peers. we are trying to keep a balance on the range of info coming at them, hoping and praying for the best:-)

    btw, from the previous awards post, i got to know a bunch of nice blogs esp on books. thanks!

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  56. Oohhh , kids are growing up way too fast !! Whatever happened to the uncomplicated world of birds and bees ??

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  57. Enjoyed reading this wonderfully narrated incident - yes, I too share your concerns about kids growing too fast, but that has been a concern through every generation, I believe.

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  58. LOVED the way you expressed yourself here :)
    Smiling at the whole episode.
    I have a lot to say about children and the times they/we live in..but it will take a whole post..so will save it for later.

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  59. Hi Nancy, I read this post the day you posted but was very distracted so thought of comin back later to comment.....ditto ditto to all, my thoughts, my fears, verry similar experiences.........is this all part of having 2 girls at home or what????

    Check out my blog for another form of fright of having girls....a pleasant one though....

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  60. bigger people like barbie...!! LOL! i cant wait till i get to meet ur daughters and gift them barbies! *evil laughter*

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  61. Thanks for visiting the blog Nan. I guess you saw just the design blog.

    I have put up my other blogs list on the side bar now.You will find the previous blog there.

    Have a lovely day.

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  62. lol...I can clearly understand what you are going through coz i'm listening to almost similar things from my nephew everyday
    @ F and B word --- I had a tough time making him understand its seriousness (i know many parents who encourage there kids to use those words and they think those kids are smart...i don't know what to cal those parents)..Finally i managed to make them believe those words are good enough to get them beaten up in public and now they are kinda convinced :)
    Can't believe your kiddos are u-tube educated at this young age(Again many parents to make there kids 'tech savvy' exposing them to you tube and game sites without even monitoring what they are doing in fact).I told this to many of my cousins but they are least bothered(what to say when it comes everyones kids , they think there kids can never get into or do bad stuffs).Nancy chechi don't let them check youtube and all at least before 12 years(or make sure they are surfing at your presence)

    @ i love you...lol may be TV influence :)
    Anyways you are handling the situations in such a sweet and easy way....kudos 2 U...pass my hi 2 vavas :)

    @mentose: It Reminded me my nephew.Once he and his friend shared a lollipop.Like first time he will lick,then his friend and so on ...we had a good laugh when we heard about this

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  63. Sakshi: Ur son likes blondes....LOL seriously dont panic, my girls like them too...they are so fixated with the light colored hair;-D.
    Everybody says its normal & we are not supposed to over-react, so I'm going to follow this advice religiously;-P.

    Meenakshi: Thank U;-)!!!! And glad to be of help;-P

    Agnes: Thank U;-D!!!!!

    My Life is my Lesson: While I agree with u to a certain extent tht children be told abt things.....to everything I dotn agree.
    They are still grappling with so many things, there is no need to burden them with explanations about love & its varieties which I feel could be explored much later. When they learn the right things at the appropriate age they tend to absorb it the right way.
    Like u said, how they understand it, is critical.
    Good to see u after a long time:-)!!

    Never Ending Memories: Thank U:-))!!!!

    Souls Speaks: U just wait & watch....they are going to have marathon conversations soon & u'll be thinking "Idingalae ake varthanum parayan paddipichavare vennum adikandiyathe";-P

    Mystery: With the advent of tv & the internet information is available easily...which is good and bad. It is upto us to filter it & channel the children in the right path. Easier said than done;-(!!!

    Anjuli: Have already done it 2 posts back;-D

    Former Sansmerci: Thank U;-D!!!! Nope, hadnt read her before, will chk it out!!!! And wht a coincidence, Balvinderjee has asked me to chk out the blog too;-o.

    Balvinder Singh: Thank U so much for the links Sirjee:-))!!! It wd be great to read abt similar circumstances.....blogging is really super huh!!!!

    Amrita: LOL I almost fell out out of the chair I was sitting on when she called him Tassim;-D

    The Sailor: Children are very innocent & put us in quandry asking the most embarrasing questions sometimes.
    Welcome to the blog-world and my space Sailor;-))!!!

    Shalom: "There's definitely going to be these jhatkas along the way, but I believe despite everything, they'll turn out fine."
    Exactly what I believe;-))!!!

    Butterfly: Patience and knowledge...oh yes and our reactions to their questions also matter. And dont get me started abt ads...have u seen the fast track watches ads....how they got past the censor board is beyond me:-S

    Chatterbox: Thank U:-))!!!!

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  64. Quirky: Glad u got a laugh out of it;-D.

    Maddy: The f words were used by boys in the bus.
    And little kids been abused is traumatising news...the guilty shd be severely dealt with.

    Sparkling: Girls these days are lucky I tell u....they have mothers who are not going to faint at the mere thought of them talking with boys;-D

    The Cute Corner House: Nope havent done it yet....they were having a course in January but not anywhere in my area, so had to give up the idee...for now anyway;-(
    Yeah I saw the design blog first, later noticed the others;-).

    Lan: "i have found out that regardless of how we control the info, kids will learn through peers. we are trying to keep a balance on the range of info coming at them, hoping and praying for the best:-)"
    Oh I heartfully agree on what u say here....one case in point is fizzy drinks. I never ever buy chewing gum and colas for the kids...I've had so many arguments with Nikita regarding this....cant blame her, so many of her friends have both....but now she has finally come around to my way of thinking:-).

    Ramesh: LOL u r too much;-D

    JP Joshi: Thank U:-))!!!!

    Preethi Shenoy: U must put it up...I for one enjoy ur posts on children very much:-).

    Sadiya: Have u noticed that mothers of 2 girls always sort of share this bond;-D

    Sunshine: U can laugh my dear but dont forget mera number bhi aayega;-D

    Anishthomas: Yeah even I noticed one thing. Children will argue and may not listen to what we tell them in the beginning. But if we keep repeating it often they will slowly come around to our way of thinking. The keyword is patience here.
    I do let them play on a few sites on the net but tv and computer sessions are quite less in our house:-).

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  65. wow.. kids never fail to amuse the hell out us :D

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  66. I had so much fun reading this. At the same time got me thinking about my girls too :) You handle things really with cool Nancy. And Naina rocks.

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  67. OMG..I had a hearty laugh and the best time of my day reading your post..Naina and Nikita..wonderful daughters of a wonderful mom...You know once my daughter came back from the school running and asked me the same question..that somebody was saying this....and i didnt know what to say or do:)

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  68. OMG!!! How do you and how will you handle kids going forward ? Though it all sounds pretty funny right now...but I'm sure it gives you tension as well...I'm scared :( When I will have kids what will they do ?

    I agree..too much exposure to the world at the tender age mixes the rights and wrongs for the kids..look at us..we never were exposed to TV/Internet and hence we were like what we should be at the particular age...

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  69. Hi! u have said it all. its just that the only other post i read of urs happens to b about blogging(Sept.30), so u understand y i m here saying u have got gr8 stuff here to share,
    i love it,
    Peace!

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  70. I said the same thing to my Mother-but I was 9 then hehe :D. My Mom too had the same response - she laughed!

    Reached here from PS's blog. Nice.

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  71. This is the cutest love story ever! he heee heeee...... I can make a clean cute bollywood movie ;)Well, i have a 5 yr old too but there is no 'Momataasim' in her class but after reading ur post i wish she did. Nikita is right!

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  72. Hey also thankyou so much for the award! Although i don't know how to pick it up and have no clue what the award is. Well, do guide me pls. I hope it doesn't say, 'Lazy slacker blogger ever!'

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  73. I think I am playing out my 2nd childhood now ;)and after reading this, makes me to enquire who all are complaining about my pranks to their mothers ;)

    "Ohhh.....I wish to be a child again" is not an oft repeated sentence for me as I am yet to grow out of myself :)

    Just read somewhere that nwadays generation gap comes evry 5 yrs....and so do the envrmntl circumstances change for a kid growing up...but its all part of learning isnt it :)

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  74. Absolutely loved the conversation between you and Naina.

    For all the child behavioral problems,Nance,I feel the solution is open communication. And Kudos to you for making that to perfect use in the upbringing of your children :)

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  75. Sneo: Time tends to fly when we are with them;-)

    Lakshmi: Thank U:-))!!!!

    Antarman: Atleast u knew the meaning when I think of my mom she didnt know half the stuff we were talking about;-D

    Nu: have to agree with u. I know each age has its own specialities but somehow I just cant help feeling we grew up in the best of times;-).

    Farheen: Welcome to my space:-)!!!!

    Cris: Thank U:-)!!!!

    Preethi: Dont wish too much...it wil become true and then u'll start panicking;-D

    Quest: U r right...its all part of learning...just that we feel a tinge of sadness when our children learn about things earlier than they were meant to.

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  76. Deeps: U r right...open communication is the key. Thanks Deeps:-))!!!!!!

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  77. hahaha sweet innocence childhood :) children are growing up really fast these days... enjoy your time enjoying these little sweet moments

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  78. Kids and their curiosity...cant stop being annoyed,amused,intrigued...very cute post!!

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  79. Wonderful piece... Very witty...
    when I look college kids 5 years junior to me, I can't help but notice the great fact that the kids are growing faster than me...
    Gr8 Post

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  80. It's so wonderful that they come and tell you everything :) I am sure they will be fine with you around to listen ...

    The conversations had me laughing aloud :)

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  81. happy happy happy happy bday!!!! :D

    hope u have a superbly amazing day Nancy!!!!

    ok i kinda lost ur email add so cant email u this...but i truly hope these wishes reach u in time! :)

    *hugz*

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  82. Happy Biiirthday too youu ¬ ¬ ¬
    Happy Biiirthdayyy tooo youuu ¬ ¬ ¬
    Happy Birthday to our dearest blogger NANCY...:)
    I wish you have the best times ahead.

    *** Ok song, dance N wishes are over. Now where is my Cake? :P ***
    Have a nice day !!!

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  83. Nance, I loved the way you expressed yourself here. I was laughing all along imagining a tensed mom.

    As for the serious matter, all I would say is that as long as they feel free to come and tell you these things, it is good. It is important to have a good open conversation with kids.

    You N and N are two cutest girls I know in the virtual world and you are one sweet mommy.

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  84. Rajlakshmi: Yes time sure flies...it seems just like a few days back when they were still tiny little babies who needed to be held and taught the basics. Now they are giving me lessons;-P

    Sara: Seriously they make us happy, in the next second confused and then make us reach for the stick;-P. Thank U:-))!!!

    Jon: Thank U!!!! Oh yes I feel the same....and have u noticed the kids[esp in college] look younger and younger by the day, u dont think its because we are getting older, do u;-o

    IHM: As of now they are telling me everything.....goodness know when tht is going to change and I know for a fact it will;-(

    Sunshine: I got the e-card;-D. Thank U:-))!!!!

    Asif: Thank U so much for the lovely wishes:-))!!!!

    Ekhwan A. Kamil : Thank U!!!

    Solilo: As of now we are having good & open conversations mainly coz they havent learned the ways of the world yet...but once they do, I'm trouble;-P.
    And thank U:-))!!!!!

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  85. oh, that was so lovely..children this age are so much fun but I am sure they will give us all a difficult time when they grow up...Your Naina is the typical brat! Pavam, she is going through so much tensions and finally it is resolved, like a typical Hindi movie.
    My Nayna too gives me this kind of talks...while the elder one is off boys, which I know is very temprorary phase!Till then I relax!

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  86. I was just thinking the same Sindhu...if they already have life-like tensions at this age imagine the real-life tensions as they grow;-o

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  87. oh my God..your kids are growing up....and quick!!! i love the conversation with Naina...her questions and concerns are so innocent and to the point! thankfully she is still asking mama before saying i love you back :) LOL!!! good luck Nance :D....

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  88. Oh yes the kids are just shooting in size and mentally.... seems like it was just a few years back I was leading them by hand & taught them A B C...big mistake I tell u esp teaching them to speak;-/
    Thanks I need all the luck to deal with such stuff tho I get the feeling u are all having a good laugh at my expense;-P

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  89. oh lord! i have had such moments with my niece who is 7 now. it worries and scares me shitless what she is exposed to out there and how i cant control it! and i m not even her mother! i totally understand ur anxiety. im not sure ive the stomach for it though!

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  90. "im not sure ive the stomach for it though!"

    Hehe thts what we all think....but we all have children and do our best to bring them up as good human beings:-)).

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  91. hehe..i loved this post..though i could only smile as i read along..probably i have to be a parent to actually start feeling concerned about it..;-P

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  92. My dear dear lady!! Reading through this post, I wondered which crazy work kept me away from the blogging community. A big hug to Naina and Niki... It felt so so so good to read about them. I have recounted their tales to my family back home and now let me say Naina and Nikita have given a few more set of people some hearty chuckles! :-) So good to be back Nan and a big hug for you! :-)

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  93. Mathew: Hehe smile away...ur turn will come;-D But jokes apart I'm not yet anxious or anything but yeah there is this feeling of foreboding[too harsh a word really] wondering what is further in store;-P

    thethoughtfultrain: So the kids are famous now huh;-o!!!
    Good to see u back:-))!!!!!

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  94. I loved this post...!! Such a sweet atge your daughters are in... Cherish these...cos oly at this age will they ask what you think aboout all this... Probably later, they wont be much bothered :( ...Love your style of writing.

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  95. Welcome to my space Anita!!! Thank U and glad u enjoyed it;-))!!!!

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  96. What a read, what a read! And I completely understand you, can relate to you - I've a 7 year old daughter m'self.. :-)

    Pssst..I think I know you as one of the visitors to my blog, but am embarrassed to admit it, because it's been so long blogging..I've just got back. The name 'reflections' is so so familiar. :-)

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  97. Phatichar: Thank U:-))!!!!
    And I didnt have to think too hard, ofcourse I remember u....ur name is not something one will forget easily and also remember u wrote stories with interesting twists:-D

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  98. So it is you!!!

    Wow, small world, huh? I think I need to relook at my blogroll, considering that so many of us keep flittin' in and out of blogworld.

    (makes mental note of updating blog-roll)

    ;-)

    bye, have fun.

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Thank U for visiting and taking the time to leave a comment:-))!!!