Characters: Lord & Master, Weary wife & 2 children
Time: After supper
The Lord & Master of the house is watching TV, the kid are occupied with some craft & the wife just finished up with all the work in the kitchen. After switching off the lights, she walks wearily to the living room & sinks into the nearest couch in undisguised relief.
She glances at the newspaper lying on the table & realizes she has no
t had the time to read it the whole day. She just about started reading the headlines when the Lord &Master asks her to switch off the main lights in the room.Looking up at him in mild irritation, she gets up, switches them off & gets back to the newspaper.
As she turns the page to read the local news the L&M asks for a glass of water.
She stares at him in amazement. Then looks at the jug of water which is on the dining table in the same room & measures the distance between the table & where he is sitting. It was approximately the same distance from where she was sitting.
If it were the kids she would have said "Its on the table. Help yourself"
But the Master's request could not be dealt with so casually. When it becomes clear that he is not reading any of her pointed expressions she gets up wearily to fetch it for the L & M of the house. After all, never let it be said that she would not even fetch a glass of water for Him.
Again just when she turns to the 3rd page, the Master decides that the children could not possibly do their art & craft in the dim lights & asks her to switch the main lights back on again.
She looks daggers at the L&M. But it's a wasted emotion as he is concentrating on the program he is watching on Tv. With a resigned sigh, she gets up & switches the lights on again.
....
....
This has been going on for a long time now!!! She needs your Help!!!!!! How can she tell the L&M in the politest way ofcourse, to do it himself??????
P.s: Single people & newly-weds, dont judge her too harshly. U may have to eat ur words a few years down the lane.
Disclaimer: All characters and events in this post are imaginary. Any resemblance to actual persons or predators; living, dead or reincarnated is purely coincidental.
Posts
Pls let me know if you find a way out :P I have been using the non-politest way now :P Asking for errands in return :D
ReplyDeleteLOL at your disclaimer! :D Nancy style!!
Me first! (I can hear you saying: You are first at these kind of posts :P)
ReplyDeleteMy goodness Savitha...u shock me...I had u under the newly weds category;-o
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteLOL.....anybody under 5 yrs is, according to me;-D
ReplyDelete:D ...there is no way Nance...gotta grin n bear it. Maybe you could announce that you're gonna read the paper to the entire room so if they have any requests they better state them immediately. This will give him the clue. I am sure his intention is not to bother you. They just assume that because we sit at home we have nothing better to do than serve them, and that they are doing us a favour - they need to be guided :D
ReplyDeletedo it urself no!!..[say it politely]..lol!!...
ReplyDeletehope i get to know the climax!!
ROFL....Don't tell him........you will get used to that
ReplyDeleteAfter all, he loves you , that why instead of doing it by himself or asking kids to do it, he is keep on asking you...see see he cares about you a lot........escapeeeeeeeeee
I don think i shud comment..im the lazy types and have mostly been on the other side:)and my husband, touch wood, is always hyper active..he never gets tired of anythin
ReplyDeleteheh heh heh heheheh
ReplyDeleteI think if we figured the answer to that one out we would have figured the way to a super smooth successful marriage :-)
One way of course would be to hand over a long stick to L&M and pretend to have an acute arm sprain :-) The stick can be used to switch the lights on and off (just clarifying):D
This is in lieu of installing switches with remote control :-) Given the recession and all that :-)
Cheers
preeti
I'll tell you a way but not sure if it'll work or cause more pain!
ReplyDeleteSend him the link to this post :P he he... But don't sue me if things go wrong.
Ok serious ploy - every time you plan to sit down, carry a tube of moov to him and tell him to rub it into your back. That way, you'll get a massage plus he'll make sure not to bother you much :)
How about, "You lazy $%^%$#. Get off your fat *#% and do it yourself. I'm not your slave. And while you're at it, make me a cup of tea ".
ReplyDeletegosh! the scene is exactly the same (except for the kids) in my house! its like he just waits for me to sit for a while before he decides to get thirsty! and never in life will the water filter be filled by him! his duty is to religiously drink all the water from it and never bother to fill it up!
ReplyDeleteIf you find the solution to the problem, please please pass it on to me too!
rofl...heil L&M!!! :D
ReplyDeleteu should be happy just doing the seva :P
really hilarious post! just realized that i ain't following u...so u got a new follower buddy :D:D:D
Hello weary wife! I think best way is to blog about it and laugh at their antics.
ReplyDeleteOR
how about a nice, friendly kick in the arse? :)))))))
On a serious note, if someone is really thirsty he/she will move their arse to fetch water. So next time you act deaf and continue with your reading or just move away from the place. When you do it twice..the third time he learn the lesson. When you do a lot og things for someone..that someone might start taking you for granted. It is up to you if you want that way or not. :)
rofl...i have nothing to say except that it made me laugh :P
ReplyDeleteWell for one it was a hilarious post and made me ponder about my Master. i tell you if I was not on a damn H4 visa sponsored by non other than the master i would have done some serious H4 Andolan here in this country :)
ReplyDeleteHey how about submitting an entry at IHM's Joru Ka Ghulam contest and we will all vote for your husband as the best JKG. Then you can show him that what a dutiful wife you have been and submitted so many good things about him and that is why he won. He will have to keep the honour of winning the coveted title and may actually get up and switch the light or in the worst case drink water all by himself and keep the half filled jug on the couch *shudders at the thought*
Hey lady, what did God give you lungs for?? I use mine all the time - thats the only remedy! :D
ReplyDeleteAnd sorry to burst your bubble, but din't you write about how you were a Daddy's girl the other day?? :D
And I ll be on my 6th year from Nov,so no longer the gushing bride! :D And your disclaimer was just soooper!! :D
I loved your disclaimer!!! laughing so hard.
ReplyDeleteAs far as my suggestion...hmmm...I probably shouldn't give it; seeing as how I'm an old married woman *of over 22 years of marriage--although I dearly love my Lord and Master- I probably (at this point) would say, "uhm, I'm really tired sweetie pie, could you get up and switch it on or off if you so desire!" :)
I have nothing to say !! My loyalities lie with the dark side. In my house, its me who sits on the sofa and asks for some salt at dinner and then after 5 mins for some curd EVERY single day :D
ReplyDeleteROFL @ the "disclaimer" LOL :D As for any useful suggestion, I got none. Dad's request is fulfilled by Mum AND Mum's request is fulfilled by Dad lol you could try requesting some of these orders someday, see if it works ;-)
ReplyDeleteWant to know my solution, which I have discovered after years of careful experiments :-)
ReplyDeleteWithout even taking your eyes off the newspaper, use your sweetest (and tired too!!) voice to reply "Can you get that please? And please get me also one glass of water, while you are there!!"
Tell me about it! I am ready to throw that jug of water at him these days :) And I actually, in a very impolite way, let him know, that I am at the end of my tether.. Once I am at that point, all such requests stop in a jiffy :)
ReplyDeleteI reiterate...why I dont get such favors....!anyways 13 years into marriage it is too much to ask...
ReplyDeleteanyway you made me laugh befre going to bed...well written!
weel i think i would be disqualified from commenting on this post but seriously?! im re-thinking the whole marriage bit if this is what id have to do!
ReplyDeleteLOl:)....dont know about newly weds, but after 33 yrs..I am free whole day, so do everything he asks me very willingly:)...This putting off light sometimes irritates me also, but then immediately I remind myself that he is working much much more than me:) and deserves some pampering.
ReplyDeletehaha.. laughing out loud!
ReplyDeletefirstly, where do u categorize a 2 and a half year old married person?
but anyway, here's my two cent as i have been with H for close to 7 years now..
well, say N.O.! (with a smile) not all the time, but when u are tired or busy or dont want to do something out of ur way, tell him so, and i am sure he will understand. i think the more women take it as their job to please the other half, the more it becomes their job later on.. no harm doin things for each other as long as its not just the woman's 'duty' to take care of things.
cooking , running the household, taking care of the kids, and everything put together, i think, is far more a tiring and superior job than spending 8 hours at a workstation! so there!:)
besides all that, the post is hilarious Nancy, does your husband read it? infact the best thing for u to do would to make him read this post with all the comments ... it will drive the point home :D
LOL abt the disclaimer and LOL abt the post! I can so picture ur face! :D
ReplyDeleteMaybe the next time, politely do what he says and then proceed to the medicine cabinet, get him a painkiller, get a tube of moov cream, and a hot water bag. Hand him the pill and proceed to apply the moov on his legs.
If he says he is not in pain, tell him u just assumed all these things as he was unable to get up.
Seriously these men need to b clobbered on the head!
For all newly weds and unmarried ladies reading this, I have one suggestion for u : Pls don't go all out and tend to a man's beck n call in the beginning in pati-vratha style. They get used to it. :D
Sounds so familiar! hee hee.... Are you sure the characters are imaginary?? ;) In our house it is the AC. It is either too cold or too hot! And I get instructions from both father AND daughter! Well... I did use a ploy recently... I told my daughter (while the h was around and watching TV...hope he heard it :O ) that it is the rule of the house that whoever needs the AC to be turned up or down should do it themselves. For e.g. if I am feeling cold, I will do it. But if any of them is feeling, they should do it... well it worked for a short time! :D
ReplyDeleteSince it was 'supposed' to be to teach her good habits, he had to do it...albeit for some time!
ReplyDeleteI have a feeling that I left a comment here yday after reading the post :P pshhhh... it got lost i guess :(
ReplyDeleteanyways, what I was saying is I belong to the L&M category, so i should pray that the spouse doesn't read this post or the comments here :D
I can't believe it Nancy, after being married for so long you have not yet mastered the art of "making him dance on your tunes" that's unbelievable, once my hubby is home he does not let me pick a biscuit on my own, its always let me do it for you situation.....he feels very guilty for not being there for me all day....my friends always suggetsted me writing a book on "how to house train your husband" but after reading your article and all the comments above I can now understand how seriously required it is :)
ReplyDeleteIts only after migrating to UAE that I am staying home, so when he comes back home he is so guilty of leaving me home all day that he never says he is tired, always willing to take us out, make a snack for tea or anything required.
Last week I was not well and I didnt see the face of my kitchen for about a 5days, food came to bedside with lots of get well soon hugs and kisses, kids taken care of and going to school having proper breakfast and lunch packed up for them.
Ladies I am not exaggerating here, just making sure you know all, so that you can understand you all are pampering your hubby's too much, they are much more capable than you think, its just a matter of pulling the right strings....although I sincerely think I also have to thank my motherinlaw too for instilling such manners and training him well.
Sorry for the long comment Nancy :), but your post awakened the woman in me, how can he be the Lord and Master when there is a more suitable contender around hahaha
Wicked aren't we???
ROFL @ ur disclaimer and Butterfly's suggestions :P
ReplyDeleteGo and switch off the fan if he says lights or better switch off the TV ;) He will get up then probably :P
You mean the *' Baby I'm tired. Please get it yourself, all the while batting the eyelashes'* stops after the first year?
ReplyDeleteBut...I...why....how...then how do we...oh groaaaaaannnnnnnnnnnnnnnn!
hahaha...
ReplyDelete(I reeally wish I had an answer ) :D
The post reminded of a friend of mine. It was their first dinner together after wedding in their own house, all alone.
Long story short, when her husband asked her to get the spoon, she said "I already got the plate and so Now you go and take the spoon. Marriage is all about sharing"
** The guy was speechless and ofcourse she had to go and get the spoon herself.
reading the comments is making me laugh even more :) butterfly has a wonderful suggestion there ;) way to go girl!
ReplyDeleteYour disclaimer made me write something more that just "Tell him and then add I wanna say in the most nicest sense... dont take it wrongly wala disclaimer" but since the disclaimer...
ReplyDeletemake sure that you bring all possible things that he would need and keep near him and look at him pointedly and say.. just so you dont need to strain and ask me to bring it later...
I guess he can guess the underlying sarcasm ?
P.S: my guy better get them himself else no food :P
Well, I'm still single and I still wanted to be kind - don't let it be said that we ppl just don't have a perspective! :p
ReplyDeleteNance, get him a nice long stick and viola! your problem is solved.
Howzattt! :D
Just talk it out!
ReplyDeleteI think the best way is to tell him to do it himself...if the girls can get their own water, so can he! Often, I've noticed men just dont get these things and when a woman is sick of it and vents, they really get surprised! :)
ReplyDeleteHmmm, Best idea do not sit in the same room as them.
ReplyDeletethen pretend not to hear if they keep calling you.
* u can also switch that tap or bang a door or two on for a second and switch off to accentuate the fact you are busy.
then they ll learn to fend for themselves.
You did an awesome job disguising who these mysterious fictional characters might be Nancy (wink) ;-D
ReplyDeleteHilarious,Nance!
ReplyDeleteThe situation is very much similar my end too.And when I'm in no charitable mood I choose to go deaf!
It has the desired impact invariably when Namnam is around since he cant shout or yell lest she gets disturbed.
And it has an even stronger impact when she is sleeping!!
So going deaf it is!!
Very interesting post and the comments were even more interesting....
ReplyDeleteMy 2 pints - I say it out aloud. sorry dude, you are thirsty get moving- you would even burn some calories that way :D same for the switches et al... Pampering someone does nt come easily for me :) thankfully
Do you consider 2yrs also newly wed..well i m in that category..and it seems this thing going to begin at my house..so to kill the spirit in budding days itself..i have started protesting now only..
ReplyDeleteU know u shd not have make him habitual of serving everytime :-)
Well as of now...before sitting for reading or leisuring...just annouce..."Ah i m too tired..will not get up now for next hour ".....
Let us know which idea works for you :)
Most of th men are of this sort. They dont seem to realise what the better half's mindset and her needs. Ths can be solved by:
ReplyDelete1. It has to come with the self realisation of person.
2. Or the wife's start commanding husbands siting in the couch and ask them to get the paper and show signs of tiredness.If they get it for u. U r lucky.. If not U r lucky too.. I am sure they will think twice about asking for water ;)
3. Act as if the work is not yet over grab the paper as if you are cleaning and move to a different room and read it :)
It is mostly the other way in our house, so I better stay quiet on this one ;)
ReplyDeleteWhat a disclaimer... hahaha..'reincarnated' above everything that's the best part to laugh out loud :) Hahahah...
ReplyDeleteWell, this female here in the post has to fight for herself and if not then she is choosing her own life to be a slave,no ?
Being a person who writes serious issues in funny and sarcastic ways( Compliment Nancy, Compliment) I am sure you can inform him in funny ways to make a point. Have “post it notes” plenty. Whenever situations like this demands scribble your irritation in a funnier way “Hubby dear…..I will be happy if you will fetch water for me when I am thirsty next time……anyways it is on the table only”. Or sit next to him while you read newspaper and he is watching TV, so that you have to cross and disturb him to finish his demands and probably he would start doing on his own.
ReplyDeleteSssssshhhhhhhhhhhhh don’t tell my wife!!
On a serious note, when I start thinking the scene at my home……….I guess I am not that bad but still lot of improvement possible. Thank you.
I'm so sorry about not replying to each comment individually....my little one is at home with flu, making my daily routine a little more complicated than usual.
ReplyDeleteBut I just had to let u know that my friend & I just loved all of ur 'helpful' comments. What made me so happy was that I know for sure NOW that I can depend on U to help me sort out any problems I may have in the future;-D.
To be very honest, I was actually decribing a friend's plight in the post. It also brought back memories of my mother & most women of her generation. I just felt like putting it into words to see what all of U thought about it....and boy, was it illuminating;-D
As for me....I wont go into too many details but like I've mentioned before I'm more my father's daughter.....tho my living conditions are a lot more tougher now coz the better-half has wisened up a lot, after 10yrs of living with me;-(.
THANK U once again for cheering up my friend....she plans to put a few of the advices' into practice immediately;-D
Cheers,
Nancy
Wishing Junior a speedy recovery Nance :)
ReplyDeleteThank U Swaram....u knw the exams are next week & I'm just hoping she'll be ok by then:-(
ReplyDeleteHugs Nance! Best wishes her way! God bless her :)
ReplyDeleteWishing the little one a speedy recovery ... (XOXO to her)
ReplyDeleteYou too take care Nancy.
Wishes and prayers for ur daughter's speedy recovery!
ReplyDeleteCheers all the way from here!!
Hey,pass on my hugs to li'l Naina.Hope she gets well soon.Thanks so much for your wishes to Namnam,Nance.
ReplyDeleteHugs to you too :)
Swaram, Sparkling, Athivas, Deeps: Nothing like a child falling sick to put things into perspective....Thank U so much for all the prayers and wishes:-)).
ReplyDeleteHey Nan ... Hope your baby is on her feet again soon! Till she recovers, we ll send healthy thoughts her way.
ReplyDeleteheyy! just read ur reply! hope she feels better soon! do give her many hugz...from my experience mom's hugz r the best when ur feeling unwell! :)
ReplyDeleteHey how is she doing now ? Hope quiet well now :) hugs to her and loads of wishes !
ReplyDeletethethoughtfultrain, Sunshine, Nu Naina's got throat infection & is on antibiotics. Tho not completely recovered she looks & sounds much better today:-)). Thank U for ur kind thoughts and wishes!!!!
ReplyDeleteHow is Naina? wish she gets well soon, my best wishes to her !
ReplyDeleteBe a German and say..I cant do it!!;-P
ReplyDeleteapart from joking..i think any person would understood if told in a polite manner about what the other person feels about it.
Renu: Naina is much better tho I still havent started to send her to school:-)).
ReplyDeleteMathew: Its not that easy. U see the wife is actually at fault here....she spoils the husband in the beginning by doing everything for him and then after a few years she begins to feel like she's taken for granted. By then the husband is used to the pati seva...u get what I mean;-D. SO u see its not so easy for her to just come out & say I cant do it;-D
Hope Naina is ok by now.
ReplyDeleteA little late for my bit of advice, but a very tired and pathetic sounding 'Can you do it?" works for me all the time. These days I get a feeling he has caught on to it so much that the requests have come down drastically.
Poor guys, sometimes they wonder what they have got themselves into after being pampered rotten by their mothers , ha ha.
Hope Naina is ok by now.
ReplyDeleteA little late for my bit of advice, but a very tired and pathetic sounding 'Can you do it?" works for me all the time. These days I get a feeling he has caught on to it so much that the requests have come down drastically.
Poor guys, sometimes they wonder what they have got themselves into after being pampered rotten by their mothers , ha ha.
LOL....ask me I'm ustaad at tht kind of pulling at heartstrings stuff;-D...but just like u said the better-half nowdays looks at me very doubtfully when I play it up & so am lying low nowadays....not ready to give the game up just yet u see;-(
ReplyDeletehey Naina is a very nice name..I love it ! Hows naina now ?
ReplyDeleteNaina's much better. Sent her to school today:-). Its actually Elaina but she couldnt pronounce it when when she was smaller & would refer to herself as Naina & so it stuck;-))
ReplyDeleteYou brought to light my plight in my home !!!!
ReplyDeleteThere's no escape, Nancy - no way works with the L & M of the house. The politest way is not heard at all, the toughest way is totally ignored. Anyway, let us wish each other some miracle to happen, which will enlighten the L&M, one day in the future.
LOL but in this case I have no sympathy for u Ums. I'm sure U have made urself so indispensable that they cant think of taking a step forward without U. And U for all ur complaints, simply revel in it I'm sure;-D.
ReplyDeleteOh my! you are so romantic. But obviously you want to come out of the 'Angel in the house' syndrome..... Well, the truth is there is no polite way of saying it. If you still want to try, you could get his water and switch the lights off or on and when in bed could let him know what you really think of his demands which will boil down to ..'Next time, help yourself!' This i think will actually work...
ReplyDeleteLOL Preethi.....what a superb idea;-D
ReplyDeleteoh my god.......
ReplyDeletei dono if i ll ever get married, but if i do there wont be anything like L&M...
i ll jus say - dude, go switch it on urself... dont ask me... ;D
yeah, call me feminist..!