Saturday 3 January 2009

To Blog or Not to Blog

It was 6.45am. I slid out of bed without making a noise, scrabbled on the table for my glasses, wore them & headed towards the door. At the door I turned once to look at my better-half who was fast asleep, grinned guiltily to myself & headed towards the laptop to switch it on.

As I double-click on the dial-up icon I can hear the bed creaking as my better-half gets up.

“Shoot” I mumble, shutting the laptop with a gentle click, rush to the curtains & pulled them apart to let the morning sunshine in.

I look back, to see him watch me quizzically & I strive to smile carelessly. He then trains his sight onto the laptop & a tiny green light blinks to tell him the truth, which I was frantically trying to hide.

Letting out a deep sigh & without saying a word he opens the front door to pick up the morning newspaper. And I exit the room on the pretext of making coffee, all the while feeling like a kid with her fingers caught in the cookie-jar.

The better-half is usually a rational man thru & thru. A man of very few words, a great husband, wonderful father, he is gentle, caring, considerate, stickler for rules, infact for the first 3-4 years of married life I kept wondering if he was for real. Now I’ve gotten used to his ways but my friends remain amazed to this day.

No, no, no I’m not just saying for the sake of it……..I don’t call him my better-half for nothing. He is better than me in all respects & frankly he’s the best the Almighty could have given me.

I hunt for a shortcoming to pin on him. Ummmm…..…hmmm.. well ok he is a bit of a Chauvinist…….Me Man, Me feed my Family, Me protect them from all danger types…. which gets a bit too heavy handed sometimes…..but it is a fault I can magnanimously overlook since it is better than “I Me Myself” and Oh yes how could I overlook this weakness of his………he watches a lot of TV.

He knows I have a blog & must have visited it a grand total of 3 times, each time at my insistence. As long as I was blogging from the office he had no problems. Though he never once verbally put my blog down, he treats it like something I do because I had a lot of time on my hands. Well he is right about the last part but I still don’t like the insinuation

When I was working, I hardly went online from home coz I was online fulltime at the office. But now at home he doesn’t approve of the time I sit tapping away on the laptop….he wants me to use the time more constructively like………like sit & watch TV with him & the kids.

Its been like this from the time I stopped working. He thinks I can do better things with the time I sit down & blog. To avoid needless arguments I prefer to do all my blogging & commenting when he is away at work. But somehow he still manages to catch me at it & makes me feel guilty.
A man who never surfaced before 8.30am during weekends was getting up at 7am to……to…...well he has to be doing this deliberately.

No, no, don’t mistake me, he doesn’t create any unsettling situations….just says innocuous stuff like “phone line was engaged for a long time”, or heaves a few deeeep sighhhs which sends across the message more effectively than any long winded lecture.

Then 1 day I burst out in indignation…..whole 2 minutes of righteous indignation….which started with…..

“Why does everything I do……”

And ended with….

“I’m so miserable!!!!!!!!!!”

Carefully looking away, I rushed out of the room, sat alone & shed a few tears of self-pity.

My case & arguments didn’t sound very strong…….somewhere inside me I wondered & still wonder if he is right. Maybe I shouldn’t expend so much time on my blog. That much time could be utilized in teaching Nikita her Hindi or I could arrange the cupboards or do some other constructive work.

He came after a few minutes & took me back to the living room…..to watch TV. No words were spoken…well his nature is such that if he had said anything I would have fallen off my chair.

As of now I don’t say the situation has dramatically changed but its much better…..his face doesn’t reveal much & I know for sure his feelings are still the same but I’m guessing that some of what I said must have had some effect & he does realise that I do need something to do ‘For Myself’.

The reason I wrote the whole situation out is to find out if any one of you out there is facing the same problem or situation from your parents or partners.

If YES, how do you deal with it??????? I sure could use some tips!!!!!!!!!!

And if NO, you've simply got to tell me your secret!!!!!!!!!!!!

49 comments:

  1. For one, Do not spent unnatural amount of time in front of the comp. The way I look at it, all Men, at leat most of them, like to come to a 'home'. Todays times are very stressful. I think when they come home, they like to walk into a clean and warm home, kids neat and smiling, wife looking fresh, smells of good food wavering in the air.

    Just close ur eyes and picture it. It really sounds good nah? Ofcourse , we are all humans, we would falter every once in a while. They will overlook it then. Try it out and see.....

    Just do all ur stuff well before he turns up, Just remember it is what he walks in to see than what has transpired before.....I don't think he'll complain much then.

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  2. Hi Nancy

    Firstly, wish you a Happy and Prosperous New Year...

    I haven't had any such problems, but i wish you find a solution for this. There are people who visit your blog without any insistence and they would be disappointed if you don't blog. And yes am one among them.

    Keep Blogging!
    Cheers!

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  3. OmG! This sounded so much like me and my wife... Even I get up on weekends and the first thing I do is check comments, replies to comments etc. And she's now threatened me around 100 times that she's gonna throw the laptop away. And even she's visited my blog maybe 2 and half times. I guess, its all about different interests but after reading ur post, I can't help but wonder if it is "BSS (Blogger Spouse Syndrome)" - a condition wherein the spouse of a blogger develops a jealousy induced allergy towards the blog :)

    Btw, wht did u do on 31st? Did u fall for 'the trick'

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  4. Hey Nancy..Cheer up..I guess you are a little low about giving up ur job..just as it is difficult for you to understand his fascination for TV, he is unable to relate to blogging..I think all of us face this in different scenarios..Advice from Agony Aunt?? Well go ahead and do your things but plan them out well.Don`t let this come in way of your WE or Family time..And please don`t` think that cleaning your cupboard is constructive! Don`t` feel guilty about your passions ..They are yours and you have every right to enjoy them..albiet not at others expense...
    Lots of philosophy?? Come on smile and lets get back to blogging ;-)

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  5. I don't know what kind of solution I can offer,because I am not known as a blogger at home!! Any suggestion Nancy?? I'm sure you feel better now!!

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  6. Not yet...but well, its early days yet :)

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  7. Ha, so that's the reason for the long gap between posts! Well, right off, I would say don't stop blogging. A lot of people would miss you otherwise, self included.

    That said, only you can honestly decide whether or not you're spending too much time on the blog. You're a wife & mum etc etc, but you're also you and everyone's entitled to a hobby and some personal space.

    However, these things shouldn't come at the cost of the home and family, but from what I've read of your family life, you seem to be a very devoted wife & mom, so I guess you just need to be a lil patient with him. You know, he may even be feeling kind of left out or something....that you've got this separate world of ppl you're in touch with that you're so happy about. So just give him some time, I'm sure he'll come around.

    Ah, almost forgot.....have a blessed new year!!!

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  8. First I wish you a MOST Happy NEW YEAR-- with plenty of bloggging!!!! I want to read your blogs :)-- they are one of the reasons I remain on this blogspot- or blogger site thingy :)

    Second- keep blogging :)

    Third, and finally- Keep blogging :)

    My husband is as wonderful as yours- and he does raise his eyebrow at times when he thinks I'm giving too much time to the blog or email or whatever- I learn to juggle my time as only we wives know to do-- multitasking all the way :)

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  9. Oh God, I so feel the same way as you do. Initially the DH was sick of me being on the laptop, but we have met halfway somewhere, I have reduced the time, and he, the issue. ;)

    This is so much the thing I do for myself too! And that's what I want it to be. I think you can pick a particular slot of time, and spend it on the blog each day, if that suits you. But this is indeed an addiction.

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  10. can't help you much here nancy as my husband and i are similar users at home. maybe he is feeling a little left out when you are blogging away? have a splendid 2009 with lots of blog posts for us and you will be fine so long as you remember that blog world should never be dearer to you than the real world:-)

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  11. Now that sounds like a mellowed version of my dad n mom. :P

    My mom often brings work home (She isnt into the blogging world ...YET...and thankfully so). She spends a lot of time photoshopping and trying other creatively inclined softwares, and ever since I've learnt cooking, I've taken that responsibility :( Anyways, my dad n mom often have these petty arguments abt laptop being the "better-half" but after everythin is done n dusted, its back to watching "Comedy Circus" together or doing a lil jig on Dard-e-Disco :P

    I know frm reading your posts that you would never neglect your family at the cost of blogs, but I guess what goes on is a very male thing (hate to put it that way, but that is what it seems to me). I mean, Men want their women to be dedicated to them above everything and if something else enters that territory, I think they get jealous (no matter how much you do, there would be an occassional complaint). Its usually "My Way" for them...not generalizing...but from the Boys to Men that have been a part of my life (Dad, Bros, Ex-s, Uncles etc etc), I've always noticed that they want things done their way and the way they see it right.

    For me, I've stopped arguing when I have a difference of opinion on an issue...coz most of the time, the other party does not see it that way. I Listen, I filter..and I'm back doing things my way :)


    OH...FORGOT...WISH YOU A VERY HAPPY NEW YEAR :) Hugs ... (I'm hungry now :( 0

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  12. Bins: Seriously u've got a point....its a universal funda:-D. Seeing it in writing sure reinforces the point.
    Thank U!!!!

    MLIML: Happy New Year to u too!!!!!
    Thank U:-)) And I will try!!!!!!!!!

    Rakesh: LOL, seriously????????
    "BSS (Blogger Spouse Syndrome)" - a condition wherein the spouse of a blogger develops a jealousy induced allergy towards the blog :)"
    BSS huh!!!!!!!! U knw I'm sure if u send it to Oxford Dictionary they'll def add it in:-D.

    My Space: Hmmm..."Lots of philosophy??".....
    No....just common sense....well I'm trying to be understand:-P. And thank U :-D!!!!!

    Maddy: U knw at first I didnt understand wht u were driving at...now I do.
    U r smart Maddy:-D!!!!!!!!!!

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  13. The Idle Devil: Lucky U but dont take it for granted. Just recognise this problem for what it is & take care now itself;-P

    Shalom: Actually this post was written more than a week back but I didnt know whether I wanted to post it;-P.
    Then Christmas, a holiday break & New Year also kept me busy:-D.
    And thank U...u r right I have to judge for myself a few things & take it from there.
    HAPPY NEW YEAR to U too!!!!!!!

    Anjuli: HAPPY NEW YEAR to U too!!!
    And Thank U....ur words always bring a smile to my face:-D.
    Hmmm...my multi tasking skills are not the gr8test.....have to improve on them;-P.

    Goofy Mumma: U too huh, actually when I was at work I hardly thought abt it tht much & so a bit surprised tht it is a bit of an issue at home:-).

    lan: Thank U for ur wishes & wishing u the same!!!!
    Yeah I knw he is a tad doubtful abt the way blogs & blogging works:-P.

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  14. We'r sailing in the same boat,Nancy...although I'm yet to decide for sure if I should quit blogging or not.But am pretty much sure I'll have to go on a temperory break sooner than later:) The term used by my husband for blogging is 'criminal wastage of time'.And like you I too am beginning to feel if I'm really taking it too far.I've stopped going online on fridays,ie.the weekends.And trust me,I'm a total mess on those days.But all for domestic harmony...so I have to endure!
    Take care and be back soon:)

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  15. I cant add anything new here as ppl before me have said everything to be said:)
    I will say one though...dont stop blogging and I think that blogging is much more `constructive than cleaning cupboards and watching TV, here sometimes we become the moral support of somebody, and ur blog is cheering up so many, bringing a smile with the antics of ur daughter to so many.
    so the trick lies in may be....finish ur blogging before ur H comes home, thats the way I do:)

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  16. Nope...don't have this problem. I don't write my posts from home..but I do spend a lot of time on the laptop at home...sometimes working, chatting officially with colleagues and also chatting with friends...haven't got into trouble yet, though I could! :D And my hubby also was initially not much into reading my posts..now he reads often..says he knows more about what I think and feel when he reads it!

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  17. Smriti: Thank U for taking the time to explain ur take on the whole issue with real life situations.
    ..and ur theory abt the male thinking made total sense. For a person who is not yet married u have the male psychology down pat;-D...hmmmm me thinks U'll make a great partner in ur relationship.

    HAPPY NEW YEAR to U too!!!!
    And I hope u had something to eat by now:-D.

    Deeps: Hmmm...same boat huh!!!! Anyways dont take any immediate breaks or anything...I'm getting some very good advice here from our common friends, why dont u also take a cue from them:-D.

    Renu: Thank U Renu, U r always very nice to me!!!!!!!!
    U knw I finish blogging before he comes home. Its the comments checking which gives me away;-P.

    Wannabe: Aaaah Lucky Woman!!!
    Make sure to keep it tht way. Sometimes I wonder whether I shd have just kept quiet abt the whole blog thing.....who am I kidding;-P.

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  18. Nancy, ditto here. The only saving grace is that i am staying alone here, but whenever Jeet comes here on a visit, mostly for a few days i feel torn apart between her and my blog. She treats my blog more or less like an extra marital affair. You are lucky that your husband has seen your blog three times. Here, she has not even read the poem that i wrote for her even after my insisting. So I had to rattle it out one day like a parrot, trying to extract a compliment for my blog.

    Though she does not stop me from blogging but her nagging looks, whenever i come back after blogging make me feel guilty. I have been blogging since 2005 and if one notices my earlier posts, i used to write only once or twice a month. But the frequency has been increasing gradually like any other addiction.

    I think my comment is getting too long and i may write a separate post, now that you have touched the topic. But my sympathies are with you and also with your husband.

    Nevertheless, cheer up and keep blogging.

    And i like that description "feeling like a kid with her fingers caught in the cookie-jar".

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  19. AHHH, the same story here too, I agree with Rakesh on BSS, I seriously think, there is a truth to it. My husband's version is I open the blog, just to see if there are comments...but there is one difference, he reads then...and I know he secretly loves them too...

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  20. Ah!!! The story of my life - not the blogging part but spending my days and nights on the internet part. Blogging is not an issue since he does it too (though he still things I blog too fast) but chatting, browsing etc etc drives him crazy when it gets too much. He thinks I am wasting my "potential". sigghhh... I should actually spend less time. One more New Year resolution to add.

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  21. hey nancy wish you and your family a happy new year!
    Blogging does this to you - it growns on you and becomes an addiction. I think it's a good way to express yourself and also develop tolerance towards other people's point of views. Hubby hasn't commented on my blogging yet and well many a times i do it at night. He feels quite happy n proud i think, that I blog...but again, if I ignore him coz of the blog then he would get annoyed...so the lesson here is, if he gets his wife's attention then her blog is a matter of pride for him :)
    Keep blogging pls...love reading your posts...(maybe you can show these comments to ur your hubby to show your popularity ;)). I'm sure that will make him very happy

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  22. Ah firstly Happy New year!

    *hugs* I know what you mean.. thats how it works at my place for well 'Telephone' the moment I get calls no one respects that I am on fone.. they keep talking to me and all and always complain.. how loud you talk etc etc.. they dont mind if i stay up for doing some work.. or plainly watch tv.. "which might be loud" well *burrrr*

    No one from my family or personal friend visit my blog.. and i am happy that they dont! I mean how can you rant when they can see? ;)

    A suggestion.. well plan your time no! I mean.. there must be some time when your hubby as well as kids are not around! Blog then :) besides during the nap time!

    Don't stop though

    Better yet.. talk it out with your hubby no.. dont get all emotional.. its better to shed few tears at the right time.. then cry all the time ;)

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  23. sounds so familiar, my friend! When I was new to the blogosphere, I remember checking my email every 10 minutes for comments! Or generally spending all my time reading/writing posts. I still do.The G thinks it is all very good, but that I seriously ought to cut down my time blogging. Mom thinks I shouldnt 'waste' my time doing 'useless' things!! I remember feeling terribly hurt and annoyed - becos this was the only high point in my life. Its difficult to sit at home and cook and wait for The G to return from work - esp as I had been working for 6 years before I quit!!
    So my friend, I cant really give you advice on this. But I sure can share your indignation and be a partner in crime(??!). :-)) Keep writing. I love reading your blog!

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  24. hey nanacy, havnt read this post as yet.. just wanted to say hello.. like enough was not enough, the year has begun with an appraisal time announcement.. hmmpph, need i sa\y more.. wonder if i am getting back to blogging ever :(

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  25. hi nancy...happy new year....i havent faced such a situation at home but the solution to your problem is very simple....blog when hubby is not around :)

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  26. Balvinder Singh: "So I had to rattle it out one day like a parrot, trying to extract a compliment for my blog."

    LOL.....was just imagining tht:-D.
    My sincere sympathies with u Sir since who better than I to understand the lack of moral support on our blogging efforts:-D.

    Please feel free to read up all the comments from all our well wishers & feel motivated like I do:-)).

    Sindhu: Well he is right in a way...coz even I blog maybe once a week & the rest of the week I'm opening up blogger to chk the comments;-P.
    Ah well, atleast he reads urs:-))!!

    Colours: I didnt dare put it in my resolutions list coz I know for sure I'll break it:-P.
    And wht do u mean by "blog too fast"????

    Deeplydip: I'm hoping he never reads this post....cant predict what the reaction cd be;-P.
    And thanks for helping me out...I just think there is no harm in blogging while they r watching TV. I mean they r doing wht they like & I'm doing wht I love:-D

    Winnie: LOL at ur family bugging u when u r on the phone...it used to be like tht for me too.
    U knw, I do the actual blogging when they r away but it is the checking for comments & commenting which makes me login every few hrs & inturn causes problems;-P.

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  27. Piper: U knw I understand what u r talking about....I was online at the office with hardly any work to do on some days. I cd keep track on everything whether it was putting up a blog post, answering comments on my blog or putting up comments in other blogs or reading new blogs.....without anybody checking up on me:-D....aaaah those good old days!!!!!!!!!
    I'm getting very good advice here from our blogger friends, I'm already feeling quite motivated, what abt u;-D?????

    ISH: Oh nooo....I can understand. But dont give us all a shock like whether u'll ever get back to blogging...
    Come on..air it out...makes u feel better....and whts more u get some good advice also:-D

    Scribbler: Thank U!!!
    Happy New Year to u too...just chked ur page yesterday...no new posts????

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  28. Nancy all I can say is thanks for sharing...

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  29. Well Hi,

    I know how Blogging can be addictive. I cant live without thinking about my blog for more than a day !! Its like it has become a part of my life !!

    I havent yet really encountered this in my relationship, (Iam yet to have one ;) ), but what i can suggest is that You have to take priorities in your life.,.Yes, i agree that blogging could be gratifying sometimes,but, in case you have much better investments (from what i read, like teaching your kid some language, or spending time with them because they want you too), i would suggest Do it.,. I know the blogo-sphere would miss you a lot, but the tiny investment which you make in your child's life, will go a long way in empowering him/her.

    Finally, its all about the choices you make, and understanding the consequence of those choices in your life.,. After all, its the little things in our lives, like spending time with our parents/kids which remain etched in our life for ever.,.

    May t Force guide you !

    P.S: And yes, i missed it. If you feel you could manage blogging along with your responsibilities(as a Mom,Worker etc ) , it would make a lot of people in bloggosphere so Happy (including me).,. ;)

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  30. Gee, I wish I could be of some help, but after 29 well etched comments, the poor-little-single me has scarcely anything to add... I however would like to add that people who write well, should blog (read - You Should Blog :-))...Happy New Year (albeit belated)

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  31. Blogging too fast means I think something and then type it at furious pace without thinking at all about it without any care.. (about 75% of my posts are like that and he prefers the 25% of the others). Luckily like your husband my husband reads my blog only when I force him to sit and read.

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  32. MAN! i mite startfacin this situation soon... tht mgettin married... u too! scarin me... like eveyrone else does! boooooooo

    PS: plz don stop blogging i promise i ll come here more often even wen m busy with wedding prep :)

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  33. Nancy you get your pocket money ?

    Add GPRS to your mobile ;) and check from there :D :D

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  34. Uffo! I forgot what I came here for! A Feel Good New Year Gift!!

    here

    And .. here and
    here and
    here and still more hereand
    here

    If you want more choices do let me know :D

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  35. one more!!

    http://nitelife-btemplates.blogspot.com/

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  36. keep Blogging Pleaseeeee. Look at it as your 'me time'. we're all entitle to some of it right?
    ask yourself; have you benefited from blogging in anyways. And if there is even one 'yes' then it's worth spending some time on it. Pace it out but pleaseeee be around. I'll miss you if you don't :(.

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  37. Although I have been a regular lurker but today I feel the need to dot my 2cents.
    Nopes, I do not share your problem infact SH loves reading my blog.
    My advice is that don't blog when your hubb is around.
    The only time I sit with the laptop when SH is at home-
    when he is online himself
    when he is reading a book
    when he is keeping busy arnd the house.
    And weekends mean no blog. period. thats an unwritten rule.
    I do chat, write emails or read blogs(sometimes) while talking to him/watching tv etc.

    Me thinks its just the way ppl perceive the world arnd them.

    Hope the New Year brings joy and fulfillment to you.

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  38. Sukku: U r welcome .... that was a nice & polite ...& safe comment.......????

    Prasant Sree: I'd like to think my responsibilities are being met quite well barring an occasional absent-mindedness or two:-P.
    I just dont understand why I cant blog while they are watching TV:-o. I mean, they r doing something they like so why cant I do something I love.
    "its all about the choices you make, and understanding the consequence of those choices in your life.,. After all, its the little things in our lives, like spending time with our parents/kids which remain etched in our life for ever.,."
    The above, I agree with totally!!!!!
    And Thank U...ur input always clears the muddy waters:-D

    Hatikvah: LOL:-D!!!!!
    Thank U, ur point is noted, ur honour!
    And Happy New Year to U too once again!!

    Colours: Really....if I close my eyes I can just imagine u typing away:-D.
    My BIL does tht....when he chats....whenever we pass tht area we cant help but stand & watch him clickity-clack with 4-5 people all at the same time:-D.

    sansmerci: Congrats....this is gr8 news!!!
    Oh dont get hecked up abt other people saying their stories. Ur life is wht u make it.
    And I'm sorry I havent come to ur page to collect the award...I still cant get into ur page[my dial-up problem, hopefully it will be done by the end of this week]:-S

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  39. Winnie: Yeah I'm getting it:-D...add GPRS huh...yeah go on gimme some more ideas...I need all the help I can get...but just remember I'm a 'bit' technologically backward:-P which ofcourse reminds me ....THANK U for the links, will go thru all of them first...infact now I'm in dilemma...as to which one...so many lovely choices:-(.
    Once again THANKS a lot!!!!!

    A: Ofcourse it has helped me...it has opened a whole new world out for me.
    Life here in Dubai is dreary to say the least...blogging is one RAY of hope, joy, satisfaction.... for me, so I'm not going to let go without a good fight!!!!
    ...its worth fighting for, right:-P???

    Spontaneous Mini: Welcome, Welcome...the more the merrier I say:-D
    Thank U for the sound advice, most of it makes total sense but "And weekends mean no blog. period. thats an unwritten rule."
    Thts a tough one:-(.
    "Me thinks its just the way ppl perceive the world arnd them."
    Can u just elaborate a bit...???When u know me better u'll realise that at the best of times I'm a bit of a tubelight:-P.

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  40. divorce him and marry your blog..:D

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  41. Ah GPRS is no big deal :) call your mobile fone supp professional.. they will help you out :)

    @links... ah choose choose then I will give you the link to dl them!

    Cant wait to see what you will choose!

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  42. do u try sansmerci.in? try it as undefinedoxymoron.blogspot.com it mite work.. yea u need to get into my page soon to chek out my invite :)

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  43. I replied to your comment. Its not a picture frame! :) Its a window and the view beyond it, is for real!!!

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  44. This is in response to the tubelight moment.
    I meant some ppl have a preconceived idea of how everything “must” be arnd them “their world”. And forget that their world includes other living beings with valid feelings with “their worlds”. So we have to be accommodating.
    Weekends, I go online but don’t blog. I have an idea for you. Why don’t you put on music online, you can keep asking him ques like if he likes this song, hero, dir., etc in-between mail checking/ brainstorming for blog(just don’t blog). This way he will feel inclusive.
    Hey you don’t have to put this comment online if you dnt want to.

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  45. Abraham Menacherry: Though it is a Brilliant idea, its not an option at all since our rozi roti doesnt come from the blog;-D.

    Winnie: So am I...tho I'm not able to browse freely with my dial-up. Luckily my ADSL will be done in 2 days time.

    Sansmerci: As I was telling Winnie here, my ADSL connection will be here in 2 days, so only till then:-D. Aaah so the wedding invite is already in huh.

    Piper: And I replied to ur comment:-D....I understood immediately but worded it all wrong:-D.

    Spontaneous Mini: U knw u are bang on target though ofcourse he'll never admit it;-D.
    As for ur idea its worth a try though I feel he'll see thru it....u knw, sort of trying too hard:-P.
    Thank U for sharing!!!!!!

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  46. hey blogging should make u feel guilty...its something u r good at...so dont stop wrting...try and find time onece kids go to school and hubby goes to work.....after all we all do need time for ourselves and we need our space...
    Its a perfectly normal thing that u do something wat u r good at and wat makes u .U.....
    I know many face this situation, i guess the main prob is coz they cant relate to our intrests and peoples tastes vary....so dont worry..try finding time for urself...children will grow up and b on their own soon and by then u will hav too much extra time on ur hands....keep at this and u wont end up being too bored also...

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  47. Enigma: Thank U for the valuble input. What U have written makes total sense...Thanks once again:-).

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  48. came here thru prashanti's blog and am forwarding this to my husband. im goin thru somethin of the same. he is feeling neglected lately . :(
    i dont know how but he is.

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  49. roop: LOL I'm not sure forwarding this post is best option.

    Anyways keep me posted.....I'm interested;-P

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