Saturday, 16 August 2008

In Safe Hands

Nikita(7yrs old): Mama, who do you love the most…..Naina or me?

Mama(under her breath): Oh-oh…

Naina(4 yrs old) lifts her head from the book she is coloring & watches me hawk-eyed.

Mama: I love both of u.

Nikita: Yes, we know you love us, but who do you lovvvvve the most?

Mama(in a sinister voice): Can you handle the truth?

Nikita: Wh-what?

Mama(dumps the accent): Do you really want to know?

Nikita & Naina(clambering on to my lap): Yes, yes.

Mama: You won’t like the answer.

Naina(she's got a light lisp) : That’s OK, just tell us……the throooth.

Mama: Papa!

Nikita: What about Papa?

Mama: Yes, Papa, I love him the most.

Kids: ohhhhhhhhhhhhh, then what about us?

Mama: I love you both very much but you asked me who I love the most, right? I love Papa the most.

Naina(going for jugular, as usual): But why papa first, why not us?

Mama thought for a moment: Because I loved your Papa first. He is my best friend & he'll be with me always.

Nikita(hugging me tightly) insisted: Even we'll be with you always.

Mama(cradling both of them in her arms): You will study hard, become beeeeeg, get good jobs, get married & sometimes go faaaaaar away from me. But your papa will always be with me and we will grow old together.

Naina: But you are already so old.

Mama(mock pushing her away): You love to remind me, don’t you?

The whole conversation lasted maybe 2 minutes and was conducted with a lot of animation & acoustics but the truth was just that.

I love my kids to bits & can give my life up for them. But my husband matters more. Like I told them……. I’m always aware that they are there with us for a while, we do our best for them & then send them out to lead their own lives. After that we remain on the peripherals while they take centre stage. The nest will be minus the brood but the partner is there…all always.

Sometimes I wonder if there’s something wrong in my way of thinking, then I’d think of my Mother & an indulgent smile spreads across my face.
She was the same….there was never any doubt in my sister’s or my mind who mattered to her the most. We love her all the more for it.

And my kids......I looked carefully to see if I hurt their feelings, damaged their budding self-esteem & all that jazz, but they didn't look any different to me.....I guess they were relieved that they didnt have to compete with eachother....Papa, they could deal with.

p.s - Why so sentimental, out of the blue? Maybe bcoz the anniversary is coming up:-D


  1. It's so beautiful. I loved it. Oh by the way Happy Anniversary.

    And yeah I liked your blog so much that I have added your blog to my blog roll..

  2. Ah good ol' sibling rivalry!!! Nothing else like it in the whole world :D

    Beautiful post, by the way :)

  3. thats so sweet! I wish more parents were like that - it would take a hell lot of pressure of the kids...its not so nice knowing that u r the center of some1s universe and that some1 u may/will have to hurt someway along the way to find yourself...

    does that make sense?

  4. that was beautiful :-).. but i bet my mom loves me n my sis more than she loves my dad!! poor :-)

  5. dj sandy: Thanks & Thanks:-)

    shalom: Yeah well, when v think back nostalgically..theres nothing like it but tackling it day to day is no fun:-P

    sunshine: read the sentence 3 times b4 it made sense:-D...& u r right.

    arunpk: Thanks. Hmmm...Your mom must be a better actor than u think:-D

  6. I absolutely agree..In my case Papa always says Mamma is mine first! So its never a choice between the two kids..Sweet post

  7. Oh I loved this entry-- you brought tears to my eyes!!! This has so much truth in it.

    I heard once "the best way to raise our children is to marinate them in their parents' love" (meaning the parents should love each other foremost and the children seeing the love will grow up more secure) I believe it is true.

    Happy Anniversary- Excellent post!!

  8. yesterday only I was thinking the same thing, but you have put it so beautifully and the way u have solved the dilemma of every mother:) is so appropriate.
    My son and daughter still accuse me of loving the other one more::)) and i always tell them that let u have the kids and then I will ask whom u love more........

  9. LMAO @ Naina: But you are already so old. hehe..
    and u know what., i am SURE my mum loves me and my sis way much more than dad.. OR oh, may be she just pretends.. now i have to find out!

  10. my space: Thanks....but u didnt mention what u say:-D

    anjuli: Never heard that particular saying before...really so true.
    And I feel so good:-D...Thanks.

    renu: Actually when the kids ask u the question, at that moment u r so zapped, confused & sometimes feel guilty even.

    Ish: Naina is always obsessed abt how old we are...every 2 days she'll ask us our age:-P. Then she will exclaim "sooo old" & I'll feel like a senior citizen:-S.
    And let me knw once u find out;-).

  11. Thats very sweet. The part where she said 'you are already so old' was Hilarious! :) I tell my mom that she loves my bro more even till today ;)

  12. oh when is it?? when is it??

    If it passed by! happy anniversary.. if not.. wishes in advance!

    btw that was sweet post.. n honest too! Each one of us thinks that way./. I am sure... though I dont know for sure.. me being unmarried :)

    @posts.. writers block or something!

  13. saw your blog on 'Anoobhooti'.

    My mother had a peculiar habit of calling out the name of my eldest sister before actually pronouncing the name she wanted the attention of, out of four of us siblings. And i always got the impression that she loved her the most. After having grown up with that habit of my mom, i could only console myself with the thought that since she had already spent few years calling her name before the rest of us blokes arrived in this world and in her life, so she was more habituated to call the eldest one's name first. But on the other hand my dad always called out the name of my youngest sister whenever he wanted something.

  14. Priyanka: Thanks. Yeah, we love to make our mom feel guilty, dont we;-P?
    And thanks for visiting.

    Winnie: Oh I dont know winnie. Most mothers I know are obsessed with their kids. That is why sometimes I feel I'm not mother enoff to my kids & feel guilty even.

    Balvinder Singh: LOL...u brot back memories. My father used to call my sister with my name, even after I got married & left the house...she used to get so mad at him:-D
    And my daughter calls everybody Mama, only when if they dont pay attention she calls them by their name. I used to get mildly irritated but then I realised atleast she didnt me call me grandma or Papa or whtever;-P
    Thanks for visitng:-))

  15. Great post, as usual. If Neha were to ask me that question, I am sure that I'd have to lie that it is her papa. :D Neha atleast is very clear that if papa wants, he is welcome to go and stay with his mamma but she is not gonna let go of me. Needless to say, it warms my heart to hear it!

  16. Brilliant post ,like the way you have potrayed truth straight from your heart best wishes for your anniversary

  17. Bins: Ahaaaa u have to lie huh:-D

    Stalag Sukhoi: Thanks and thanks:-). Seeing u here after a long time, what's up?

  18. hey--this very same scene plays out at my home too--and I firmly maintain all three--like left eye,right eye and the forehead :)
    Happy anniv.

  19. piper: Thanks:-)

    Ps: I guess all children put their parents thru this test:-)
    And Thanks!!!

  20. Lovely post Nancy. I always knew my Mum loved my younger bro n me equally (even if she favoured him most of the time :P) but it was only until recently I came to see that Dad was her number one from the start. :O)

  21. shades of grey: Thanks.
    Its just that when v r younger we automatically expect all the attention, etc from our parents but never give a thought to their wants & needs. As soon as start seeing them as individuals then we our eyes to their strengths & foibles

  22. Aaha and I thought there was something terribly wrong with me for loving my husband more than my son. I thought I lacked what they called the motherly affection and all that...phewwwwwwww you relived me from a trauma I never had in the first place. Yup I love my husband the most in this world coz he is the one who taught me the meaning of love for the first time *blushes and silently exits for now *

  23. Aww!! Such a romantic post: )

  24. Sakshi: Exxxactly what I think;-D.
    And so sorry for not replying earlier.

    Amrita: Hehe my first & last one I think;-P


Thank U for visiting and taking the time to leave a comment:-))!!!