Wednesday, 13 April 2011

I'm just soooo beautiful!!!!!!

Naina walks into the kitchen & asks “Mama, have you noticed that chechi is singing the same song over and over again????” 

“Yes I did, she made it up herself didn’t she???” I beam.

Naina didn’t quite like my 'brimming with maternal pride' tone.
“Have you heard the words of the song???” She demands.

“Eh……no, why????”

“She just keeps repeating one sentence and its beginning to irritate me” Naina expostulates. Its always about “I’m beautiful, I’m sooo beautiful……”

I stare at her taken aback. Naina looks satisfied that she has rattled me out of my comfort zone & walks away. It was true; I never quite listened to what she was singing. So I walk casually to where Nikita was grooming her doll lovingly all the while crooning “I’m so beautiful…”. The whole of the 5 minutes I stood there she went on and on “I’m so beautiful…..just soooo beautiful” experimenting with different variations and tones.

After looking around furtively to see if Naina was anywhere around I let myself smile. It was actually very funny. After that every now and then I would hear Nikita humming, singing and performing the “I’m so beautiful” ditty. And there was this one time when we all were playing Uno and when she won the game she shot upwards and roared the “I’m so beautiful” lines, like a rockstar strumming an imaginary guitar. We couldn’t help laughing at her exhilaration though Naina looked part amused and part aggravated.

I wondered whether I should be worried. After all, narcissism should be nipped in the bud right, atleast for the sake of the people who are going to be around her in future. Maybe any other time I would have but there are reasons why I didn’t. Years back, I was not a very happy kid. The hard fact is that I didn’t have a very good opinion of myself. When compared with my friends I found myself lacking in everyway… affected my self-confidence and sometimes still does. It’s a baggage which is not very easy to shrug off.

So when Nikita was born I didnt want my daughter to go thru the same and tried in my own way to make sure she didn’t harbour any doubts like these. I always tried to make her feel good about herself. For instance after giving her a bath I would dress her up and make a big fuss of her, open my eyes wide and ask “who is this beautiful little girl???” And she would delightedly say “I’m Mama’s beautiful girl” and so on.

Time passed quickly and before my eyes she has grown into a very loving & positive 9 yr old. In spite of all this she is still very timid……actually she is very self-assured among family & friends and even assumes leadership but if the teacher lets say, asked her to read out aloud in front of the whole class she’s petrified. She was given the chance to be monitor of the class but she gave it up after a week saying she didn’t want to be. So many times there are impromptu competitions held in the malls or at the get-togethers we go to and all the children there fight each other to be called out but my child always holds herself back. She once admitted to me that she gets tears in her eyes when she has to do something in front of the whole class or strangers.

My heart goes out to her coz I know exactly how she feels. But I can’t show that I sympathize and so advise Nikita to just concentrate on doing the work the teacher gives, not the surroundings and her nervousness will vanish. She is not very convinced.

I know I’m handling it casually but I don’t want to give it too much attention and make the child think that something is really wrong with her. At the same time I’m concerned. I keep hoping she’ll grow out of it if the problem is not highlighted all the time.

But instances like these[see below] make me think there is nothing wrong & its all in my mind:-).

At any given point of time the kids will have a favourite dialogue, advertisement tagline or joke which they’ll keep repeating until a new one takes it’s place. The latest dialogue doing the rounds in our house…..

Scene description: Nikita will make a dramatic entrance at the doorway, will place one hand on the jamb and the other on her hip, her feet very elegantly positioned.

She will give us 2-3 seconds to admire her and then she’ll gracefully lift her hand & blow kisses in all direction and say “To all my fans out there, muahh, muaahhh, muaaahhhh”.

I will clutch my heart & pretend to swoon in excitement;-D, Naina will look on digustedly & say "Oh puh-leeeze!!!!"


  1. Naina and Nikita are just soooooooo cute....I just to see them. :) Hugs to the beautiful girl and cuddly hugs from your fan, dear girl. :)

    I do understand - as a parent we are worried if our child will not have those baggages we carried in our childhood years. But, she'll be fine...they do learn with good support from family.

    Was wondering whatever happened to u, since u posted last - too long a gap.....but this beautiful post is worth the wait. :)

  2. Hehe Uma....will convey ur hugs;-D!!!
    Too many things happpening around me...thts why the gap.
    And thank U:-))!!!

  3. OMG!! how we missed the two last year - Pass my tight hugs to Naina first :P

    And I imagined the scene through as you narrated :). Don't worry, Nancy, she will be all fine- after all, your conscious efforts aer all worth hr confidence :)

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  5. nope I'm second;-D.
    All ur hugs are duly passed on;-D. As a parent there is always a doubt whether we are doing enough;-P

  6. aww nikita & naina stories!! they r soo adorable!! *hugzz*

    i sorta can understand coz im this super confident person in front of friends & family members, but put me in a networking event full of random people im supposed to talk to, and all the confidence goes flying out of the window!!

    at one point (pre-teen or early teen i think), i used to even be afraid to ask the waiter in a restaurant for anything! i would push my parents into asking for dad slowly realized what was happening and refused to ask for me; he said i would just have to do without it if i couldn't muster enough courage to ask. at that time i hated it and thought he was being extremely mean; but it did help me build upon my self-confidence! am sure the girls will be just fine! :)

    when o when are u planning a trip to this side of the world?? i want to meet the girls!!! (and you of course! :P)

  7. Hi, such adorable girls they are. I also have two at home, right now they are like clawing at each other if put together and crying for each other if put in different rooms.. do not know how long this phase will last... sigh !!!

  8. laughing hard at the instance that you have put in the end :D

    But I think your approach is right!!! I always believe that it is the parents who can instill confidence in their kids but yes there is always a very thin line between confidence self assurance & overconfidence. And as parents we shud keep an eye that the thin line is never crossed!!!

  9. Very nice post, i can so well relate to that. I too was a diffidant, timid kinds kid and always thought too less of me ...
    Though i do not have any kids till now....but these thoughts do cross my mind...every now and then...
    ..and yes, you should blog more often.,..its nice reading your blog..:)

  10. why am i never 1st in commenting... thats a skill i need to learn i gues...

    sigh,, ok - leme go read the post

  11. awwww.... this post is sooooo cute... n Naina is honey drippin sweet - (am the younger one u see - lol) :P

    first things first - this post means, you are back in full swing, aren't you? ;-) lovin it!

    Nikita is a darl - tell her i also caught her kiss and yes, fainted too ;D am jus imaginin all the dramatics :P

    n yeah, i know as parents u will never know if its enough or if its over the board, hay na? my heart goes out to all of you... n i understand all of this only as an aunt... its quite a job isn't it? phew... but, am sure at the end of it all these thoughts of concern act as great boosters to them, dont you worry?! :) they will surely be wndrful gurls :)

    ps. lovely drawings btw ;)

    pps. bear hugs to the three of you... :) :)

    spl kisses to naina :)
    (psst... nikita? even for you - jus not infront of naina, okay :P)

    No chech, am not givin you... not until ---- thats for you to fill lol... ;D

  12. Sunshine:Oh I was the same...use to wait patiently to catch the eye of the waiter whereas my frinds wd just put out a hand & holler;-D.
    Singapore is on my wish-list but as of now nothing. All vacations which involve more than 5 hrs of travel will be undertaken only after the youngest turns 10. Honestly, travelling with 2 squabbling kids can take the fun out of anything;-/

    Soul Speaks: Ooooh U & I are in the same boat. My friend tells me tht it never ends...if its not this, then it will be replaced with something more terrible;-(

    Smita: Ur right but tht thin line is a big troublemaker by itself;-P

    Deepti: When we are grown up & look back we realise we wasted so much of time worrying abt nothing;-(
    And thank U:-))!!!!!

    Sulo: I dont knw about full swing but I'm trying;-D
    Huh honey dripping sweet is something all of us are wary of;-o
    Thank U for all the ps's;-D

  13. You had to talk about this now?!! :( when am going thru the same thing at 22. She is just 9.. am sure she'll soon be this super confident beautiful girl thanks to your upbringing :)

    p.s: it is suuuuuuuuuch a pleasure reading about your kidsssss.. and u blogggging :D

  14. God Bless Naina and Nikita. They will grow up into fine and confident adults. Its really amazing, and you are doing a great job !!! Congratulations on that. I am not a parent, but your attitude was steeped in a lot of positive thought and pragmatism. :)Take care!

  15. Letting it be - easily the most difficult concept for any parent. That you can do it is a massive tribute to you.

  16. Sweet post :) Loved the way your little one keeps humming the one liners again and again... It's good for a child to have a positive mindset and the repeated lines are nothing but affirmations which re-emphasize what she is.

    A small suggestion to let her become more free among her teachers & friends would be to have a kind of small challenges and making her win it. The small victories will give her the confidence to perform better as time goes by.


  17. it when u write abt your daughters ! Love them both ! U r such a lucky Mom ...touch wood !

  18. They seem to be sensible girls with their Mum's sense of humour. I think you are doing the right thing. You are the parent. Your way is the right way.

  19. I agree with you know who. This post hs brought bk our original Nance :P Welcomeeee bk :)

    Nikita and Naina are just soooo cute. They have a fan in me too. Plsss tell them that.

    Hugsss :)

  20. could so relate to it, though mine are boys and older too. the thing is the ghosts of our past keep haunting us, sneaks in and tries to play games. I guess at times we shouldn't let it take over, and just go along with what's happening right now, giving our inputs, not clouded by personal history! :)

  21. Such a cute post!!! You are blessed with two really smart little girls :)

    Hugs and kisses to Naina and Nikita :)

  22. “To all my fans out there, muahh, muaahhh, muaaahhhh”.

    Wow! I got kisses from my very favourite celebrity now!!!!!!!! A Big hug to little girl

  23. S: U too too;-(. Let's start a club;-D!!!
    And thaaaank U:-))!!!!

    Thank U Amrita:-)!!!!

    Ramesh: Ohhh yes....I keep wondering whether there is something I shd be doing;-o

    Aragorn: U do have a point there, thank U:-))!!!

    Anita: Yes I consider myself lucky too, touchwood:-)!!!

    Jane: Parents are not always right are they, just think back into ur own childhood & I'm sure u'll remember so many instances where u wished ur parents had done it differently. It happened with me, it happens with most of us, so the doubt keeps popping up every now & then:-).

    Swaram: Will convey ur message;-D and u & 'u knw who' have been welcoming me back for the past 3-4 posts and once again I thank u both;-D

    Vaidegi: Yes, yes and yes, couldnt agree more:-).

    Tan: Thank U!!! All messages filled with affection will be duly conveyed;-D

  24. Oh how cute!!!!! You make me wish I had another little girl in our house.

    And so GREAT to have you back blogging!!!!!

  25. Don't you worry, she is going to grow up into a self assued girl. Kids do really surprise us and they show their better side when we least expect it, the only thing we can do is provide them a warm and safe base.

    I am sure you will be happy to know my 9 year old's tag line is ,"You can't see me" rap style :-) Trust me, ut can be really irritating with the accompanying actions.

  26. I say BRAVO for her song!!! I'm smiling widely and just wish I could be there to hear it and applaud. There will be many times in life when others will try to stomp that song out of her- so the more she sings it and lets it settle deep into her the better! (at least that is what I think) ha ha!! :)

    Love BOTH your girls- they really are amazing!

  27. awww....

    i love the 'muah, muahh' bit...must make a pretty sight! :D

  28. you write so engagingly about naina and nikita that it is easy to picture you and them here. lovely pictures. naina stands for elaina? so long as we truly do the best we can with kids, the rest of it is not in our hands

  29. Aren't kids to amazing? I specially love Naina's reactions... I think you do not have to do anything. Sisters help balance each other.

  30. Nilu: LOL I knw exactly wht u mean...the more the merrier;-D.
    And thanks:-)!!!!!!

    Bindu: LOL I can just imagine tht...and ur irritation/amusement also;-D.
    And u r right:-))!!!!!

    Anjuli: Loved the way u put it!!!! And thank U:-)!!!!

    Suma: LOL it terrifies me actually....keep thinking of whts in store;-D

    Lan: Yeah Naina is actually Elaina...when she was younger she cdnt pronounce her name & used to call herself Naina and it stuck:-)

    Colours: Yeah the sister-sister relationship is an amazing one. Sometimes I think they really dont need us, they are soooo content in eachothers company;-)

  31. I think its all good. Stage fright is very common even in the best of public speakers. Ask me (Ahem...) :P

    She's just a kid. You're perfectly correct in taking this casually.

    But still if you are getting paranoid, start by making her perform in front of your family, then extended family, then family and friends and every time she does it, applause heartily. She'll get better.


  32. You are so parents we must give them all the confidence in self.

  33. Rakesh: A bit of stage-fright is good, helps us perform better;-D.
    Yes we do tht but she is very self-conscious, so we dont push her:-).

    Renu: We try:-)!!!!

  34. Cool blog, I subscribed. Would you mind following mine too?

  35. Wow..!!! She is so grown up :) it fascinates me to see how the kid in her is still there.'Coz these days, kids are on TV, on Radio, on papers, magazines everywhere. It is very difficult to keep them away from such kind of deviations. But Kudos to you for being such a lovely and caring mom! I wish to be on like you someday :)
    I was timid when I was young, but my teachers at school took me to various competition and made me come out of the "Stage Fear". Now I organise and Anchor shows without any hiccups. If you're finiding it diffcicult anytime, Teachers are always there :)

  36. Ha, ha, loved reading that...what self-confidence, a shining star:):)

  37. Brandon: Thanks!!!!

    ManishaPatnaik: Exactly my thoughts...all around us are children who are so full of confidence and go-getters tht it amazes me. As for my kids, even while waiting for the school-bus at the bus-stop they'll very politely let every other kid get into the bus before climbing in....its the polite thing to do ofcourse but sometimes it really irritates me;-).
    I'm so happy for u tht ur teachers took so much interest in guiding really makes a differnce doesn't it:-)

    Kala: Thank U:-D!!!!

  38. You have the two most cutest kids in the world (Note I normally am not fond of kids and don't find them cute. Maybe this has something to do with the fact that I'm just reading about them and am not expected to interact with them in any way) ;)

    I think its perfectly normal behavior on the part of Nikita. Not everyone can do everything, and not everyone should do everything. I guess over time she'll develop the confidence to do things that seem tough for her now. I only speak from my own experience and maybe am wrong. Am sure you know better :)

    PS: Its great to be back here :)

  39. LOL I do get what u mean.....I too was never fond of kids. Ummm actually I still dont like them very much, I merely tolerate my two since i have no choice;-D
    Hey good to hear from U Blunty....long time huh:-D

  40. Ohhh BE I too responded to ur comment here but now its disappeared;-(
    Not the least, its great to see u too:-))!!!!

  41. Dont you worry, Nance, Nikita is going to grow up to be a girl extremely confident of herself and surrounding, in fact she is well on her way. As parents so long as we keep instilling that confidence in our children I'm sure they will be just fine.

    Hugs and kisses to Nikita and Naina :).


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