Sunday 6 April 2008

Installing your Husband...

Dear Tech Support,

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slow down in overall system performance, particularly in the Flower and Jewelry Applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.

In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5 and then installed undesirable programs such as NBA 5.0, NFL 3.0 and Golf Clubs 4.1. Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and Housecleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system.

I've tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail.

What can I do?

Signed,
Desperate************************



DEAR DESPERATE,
First keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while Husband 1.0 is an Operating System.

Please enter command: Ithoughtyoulovedme.html and try to download Tears 6.2 and don't forget to install the Guilt 3.0 update.

If that application works as designed, Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewelry 2.0 and Flowers 3.5.

But remember, overuse of the above application can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, HappyHour 7.0 or Beer 6.1.
Please note that Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that will download the Snoring Loudly Beta.
Whatever you do, DO NOT install Mother-In-Law 1.0 (itruns a virus in the background that will eventually seize control of allyour system resources.)

Also do not attempt to reinstall Boyfriend 5.0program. These are unsupported applications and will crash Husband 1.0.

In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly.

You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance.

We recommend Cooking 3.0 and Hot Lingerie 6.9.

Good Luck,

Tech Support

7 comments:

  1. hahah.. OMG taht was awesome and so freaking true. I guess u have posted exactly what i was trying to get to fr a long time:))
    AND.. cooking and hot lingeries.. i shall remember :D
    loved the post.

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  2. hehe...underneath the humour there is more than an ounce of reality attached.

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  3. I'd got this my email some time back and had found it really funny.Are you the author?(If so i bow my head to you!)

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  4. No, no, no i cant claim any credit for this. Just like u, I too received in my mailbox and found it hilarious but at the same time so true....so had to put it up for everybody:-D.

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  5. LOVED your comment on my latest post!! Do you have an orkut profile?!!If so please add me as a friend (and I shall become a fan!) :-)
    Will blogroll you soon.
    Cheers
    Preeti

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  6. Orkut is banned in UAE. Nobody can access it here. But even otherwise (ie when it was not banned) i dont have a profile there :-P.

    Preethi, u really are very kind to me. Right now i'm looking sort of puffed up with importance.
    AND Preethi u r also very clever. Dont know how but u have actually got me to comment in each of ur blogs nowadays :-O.
    AND AND Preethi i hope i'm not putting too much pressure on u but u havent commented on my "B4 i forget...or will I" blog. As they say in Mal "Karaeyunna Kochine Pal kittu";-).

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  7. haha..thats really funny
    Shall keep all that in mind for the future ;)

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