Life in the fat lane

Patient Name: N

Diagnosis: Overweight

Prescription: Need to lose weight ASAP

Now N has already confronted her problem...

...and 'gasp' found the solution too...

But nothing is as easy as it sounds...if that were the case N would have shed all the excess weight 10 years back. N is not motivated enough to address the problem seriously.

Medical experts say that the first step towards losing weight is accepting the fact that one is overweight.

Then we must try to understand what causes obesity...

 Also understand and accept that all what we have been doing till now has been just for the sake of it....

or are just quick-fix methods.....

The experts also say losing weight need not be stressful.
They shared a few of their weight-loss tips...

If that doesn't work...

Or use their specially-manufactured cutlery to eat meals...

But if our heart is not in it, there are always ways to get around these things....

And N will win 1st prize for excuses.....

N needs your valuable advice.

As well-wishers what clever tips do you have to offer her????

The games we play....

One Thursday evening….

[It's start of weekend for residents in the Middle East incase you are wondering...]

“Let’s go to the mall” suggestion was met with cries of “It’s boring, we don’t want to go”.

“But why???” 

“We are always going to malls, it’s soo boring.”

Huh since when….they had the maximum fun out there; there were toy stores to be explored, bookshops to be visited, gaming zones to run amok in, freebies to be collected while the parents were usually found hurrying behind trying to keep up.

I would have been happy to hear this any other time but that day I wanted to go out.

I sat them down and stressed how lucky they were to have parents who didn’t need to be coerced into taking them out.

They looked at me unimpressed.

I told them about my childhood where I was taken out just twice a year.

That got some response.

“You are joking……only twice a year???” Nikita flabbergasted.

“Yes, on Christmas day and Easter……

……to visit relatives.” I added for a punch.

Both looked horrified.

Nikita pretended not to be affected and was like “Your time was different Mama so don’t compare then and now”

Point.

“How different” I challenged not willing to let it go so easily. “I was also a kid like you and would have loved to go to a mall[never mind there were no malls then] but my strict, authoritarian father decided we’ll visit relatives and so we went visiting.” I said woefully, mentally apologizing to my father for the way I was portraying him.

Two shocked faces stared pityingly at me and my deprived childhood.

Kids nowadays are funny I tell u….I so clearly remember jumping up and down for joy when my parents planned trips to visit relatives.

“I always obeyed my parents and did everything they told me to” I said grandly.

Nikita didn’t want to hear anymore….I think I over-acted a bit and the lost the bit of ground I had gained till then.

“We don’t feel like going to the mall, we want to stay home. Didn’t u say we’ll rest this weekend, so we want to rest” the siblings on the same page for once.

Rats.

For a change the better-half & I wanted to go out and these two were playing party-poopers.

“I know exactly why you want to stay home” I said sternly. “You want to play on the tab right….right”

Two guilty faces confirmed my doubts. Well I didn’t blame them. If my father had downloaded 2 new games on the tablet for me that evening I too probably wouldn’t have wanted to go out anywhere. Too bad their mother was not so understanding.

“Alright we’ll stay home but both of you will not touch the tablet….

….or any other gadget in the house for the rest of the day.” I said closing all loopholes.

Two dismayed faces stared back.

Naina opened her mouth to protest but Nikita stopped her and said “Alright we won’t touch the gadgets, but we can read books right”

How could I refuse to let them read books without coming across as petty?

So they settled down comfortably to read.

I think Nikita realised that we wanted to go out more than them and was in her “two can play at this game” mode.

The better-half and I sat facing eachother, wondering what to do. I wanted to go out and by hook or by crook we were going to. What the heck…..I had already scrubbed and cleaned and closed the kitchen for the day thinking we were eating outside. No way was I going back in there to make dinner.

“In all other houses children are asking but their parents are too busy to take them out. Here we are telling we’ll take u out but you want to stay home to play some silly game.” I said in irritation.

[Silence]

You two are so lucky…..even before you say it you have parents who get you what u want. Go on, just look around you, you have everything, instead of counting your blessings and staying happy…..”

“But we do thank God for everything and we are happy…..we just want to stay home and not go anywhere out today.” Nikita says reasonably.

Deuce.

Silence reigned in the house for a few minutes.

The better-half started drumming on the dining table to hide his impatience.

I was hopping mad now.

Desperate times called for desperate measures.

“Alright, we won’t go out if that’s what you want. You are right, it’s not good to go out all the time. I’ll make something ‘nice’ to eat and we can all laze around at home”

I discussed the dinner menu with the better-half.

“What do you think I should make for dinner???? I’ve got Rice, Rasam & stir-fry in the fridge or should I make Kanji*???”

The better-half’s fingers faltered for a few seconds and then resumed drumming when he realized my game plan.

The children who were merrily swinging on the recliner till then froze in shock.

“I think Kanji is better because it’s healthy and also it will take me just ½ an hour to make it.” 

The better-half drummed a tune on the table approvingly.

The recliner creaked to a halt.

Sensing victory I pressed home my advantage.

“It's too late to make a side dish but we can have it with some yummy pickle.”

Books lay forgotten as two white faces watched us like hawks.

“Ofcourse if we were going out, we could have had Burgers or Pizza or Chinese” I smashed the point home.

The ball in their court now, we waited nervously.

….

….

“We don’t want to stay home, we want to go out….we love going to the mall” wailed Naina.

Game. Set. Match.


*rice gruel

The Mystery of the Ringing Doorbell

Ting-tong

The doorbell pealed suddenly in the middle of the afternoon.

I waited expectantly for the kids, the better-half,  somebody, anybody to open the door. I had just sunk into a couch after clearing lunch and was feeling lethargic.

Obviously everybody around was feeling the same;-/.

I reluctantly got up to answer the doorbell wondering who it was. I knew it was not the kid’s friends because those kids never rang the doorbell, they just  knocked on the door[by now we are familiar with the different types of knocking and can accurately predict which kid it is even before we open the door;-P]

Who the heck comes visiting right after lunch anyway???

I looked through the peep hole.

Couldn’t see anybody.

Opened the door and looked left, then right, then left again and right and everywhere.

There was nobody out there.

The kids also emerged to inspect the visitor.

All 3 of us looked at eachother in confusion.

Realisation dawned a split second later.

Somebody rang the doorbell and ran away.

The kids were indignant. “The cheek……”

I wanted to laugh.

Whoever it was made a clean getaway.

We went back inside, kids animatedly discussing who it could have been.

……

3 days later around the same time….

Ting-tong

Arriving at the same conclusion all 3 of us hurried to the door to catch the offender.

But by the time we got up from where we were lounging around and rushed to the front door the offender had escaped once again.

The kids were hopping mad. What guts…they fumed.

This time I walked down the corridor to check the lift.

It was stationary.

Opened the door to the staircase and listened.

Absolutely quiet in there.

So it was somebody from our floor itself.

Some kid was right then standing behind his/her door and snickering away silently I supposed.

But who???

The kids were heatedly arguing amongst themselves as to who it could be.

My apartment was at the end of the corridor.

The apartment opposite ours was occupied by an Arab couple with a toddler.

So they were ruled out.

At the other end were 4 doors placed close together. All the 4 apartments had kids.

“Mama, I heard the door to the garbage chute bang shut just before our doorbell rang. Which means whoever is ringing the bell is going down this passage to throw garbage and then ringing our doorbell and running away“.

Hmmmmmm…..

2 days later round about the same time again…

Ting-Tong Ting-Tong Ting-Tong

The kids and I dropped everything we were doing and ran like maniacs to the front door. In those few seconds we heard the kid rushing noisily down the corridor and slammed his/her door just as we opened ours.

I banged the wall in half amusement and frustration.

The kid was getting bolder. A simple ting-tong was now a Ting-Tong multiplied into 3. I was soo hoping to catch the kid red-handed and have some fun.

The kids were boiling in fury. They had already come to a few conclusions by now.

“Mama…we are sure it’s JoJaJo” burst out Nikita angrily.

Most of the kids on the floor were their friends and they played together all the time.  JoJaJo were 3 kids with names starting with J[wht else] and the only kids they had some issues with.

“Stop Nikita, we cannot accuse anybody without proof” I warned.

Now we were alert all the time especially after lunch. If we heard anybody open the door to the garbage chute[luckily for us, it opened with a noise] all of us looked up in expectation and waited.

But nothing happened for the next 2 days.

Then at 11pm one day, just as I was winding up for the day….

TING-TONG-TING-TONG-TING-TONG

My heart nearly jumped out in shock. In the silence of the night the ring was so loud that for a moment I just stood there and did nothing. The better-half and kids who had already gone to sleep an hour earlier, got up with a start.

I rushed to the door but again I was too late.

But enough was enough. Being disturbed in the middle of the night was not funny.

We decided to knock on JoJaJo’s house and asked if any of the kids went to drop the garbage a few minutes back.

JoJaJo’s mother was like “No they didn’t, they slept almost an hour ago”.

I knocked on the next door.

They took almost 5 minutes to open the door.

The entire family was already in bed.

At the next house too they denied any knowledge of the incident.

I hesitated to knock on the last door.

The Irani family who stayed there had 2 girls above the age of 10 and the woman of the house was a formidable lady who was well-known for her terror tactics. All the kids on the floor detested her because she was always complaining about the noise they were making. Even we kept out of her way;-P.

Since I knocked every other door I reluctantly knocked on hers too.

She came out and said everybody was asleep and what’s more, nobody from her house will do something like this. Behind her I saw one of her kids peeping from one of the rooms.

I came back all upset and puzzled.

I felt really terrible going like that and knocking on doors in the middle of the night but this was getting a little out of hand.

I related the whole episode to the better-half and kids . The better-half then said he heard a slap and a child crying just a few minutes earlier. We have a window near the bedroom which is left open sometimes and if the neighbours left their window opened too we could clearly hear what was going on there.

The kids & I looked at eachother in shock because the Irani family stayed there.

We couldn’t believe it. Her daughters were almost 14 & 11 yrs old. Even though those kids didn’t come out to play with mine there was no animosity between them as such. So then why…

We went to sleep after that.

The whole incident was discussed and examined with a microscope the next day but no conclusions were reached.

Anyways the problem was solved.

Or so we thought.

The very next day at around 9pm.

TING-TONG-TING-TONG-TING-TONG

To say we were stunned was an understatement. I was at the far end of the house fixing the kids beds for the night. Too far away.

“Nainaaaaaa, open the door quick” all of us yelled at the same time. 

Naina was at the water dispenser filling her glass and closest to the door.

So many thoughts went through my mind.

It was not the Irani kids after all.

What will I do when I catch the kid red-handed???

There was no doubt here we’ll catch the budding delinquent because Naina was already opening the door and we could still hear noisy footsteps rushing off.

Just as we opened our door, the door opposite ours slammed shut and we heard the key being turned in the lock.

We were totally taken aback.

How could it be????

The Arab who lived opposite our apartment was a new tenant and as far as we knew, lived there with his wife and 10 months old child. Their names were not even there in our list of suspects.

The better-half knocked on their door.

The Arab came out carrying his baby. The baby is one of the prettiest, cutest and most endearing toddler. My kids loved her and go running to [baby]talk to her whenever they saw her.

Emerging out of my thoughts, I see the better-half explaining the problem.

Within 2 minutes we had our suspect in our hand.

Suspects actually.

The Arab had his relatives staying with him for the holidays. Looking back now, we remember seeing them once or twice. Their 3 kids[3 cheerful & naughty looking kids of different age;-D ] would come out everyday to throw garbage down the chute. While going back into the house they found it very amusing to ring our doorbell and run away.

The Arab was so apologetic that we felt bad and ended up reassuring him.

Nikita then put everything  together and presented her deductions….

“Those kids took turns to ring our door-bell everyday which explains the varying tones in which it was rung” she explained authoritatively. “And Mama, what we thought was footsteps running down the corridor was actually the sound of 3 children rushing through their door one by one” concluded Nikita, wrapping up the case neatly.

Only one doubt remains….

If these kids were the culprits, then why did the Irani lady wake her supposedly sleeping child at 12 in the night & make her cry;-o???

Do you have any such solved/unsolved mysteries to share:-)????

Good...good...all good at my end

I've been lying low…

…because of exams.

FINAL EXAMS.

But that doesn't mean I don’t have news to share.

Lots of news actually.

Now that’s funny isn't it, because I sit at home the whole day and look forward to the return of the better-half from work because I’m eager to know whats going on outside my well.

What well????

You know…frog….. in the well……yup, that 'well'. 

So as soon as he comes back from work, I ask brightly “How was work??”

I get a world-weary look for my efforts.

‘That bad’ I sympathize.

‘Good.’ comes a mumbled response.

I try another track.

‘You are late???’ I gently insert into the silence.

No answer.

‘Traffic???’ I probe further.

No answer.

‘TRAFFIC’ I’m now determined to get a response.

‘No’

I give up and march back to the….to the comfort zone I was in before he came.

His head and world weary tiredness miraculously clears[I’m assuming it cleared because he hastily follows me into the kitchen]

Now the shoe is on the other foot.

I'm attacking a pan with a scrub and detergent.

“My day was good….

....good…..

......goooood....

.....and no traffic” The better-half offers expansively hoping not to sound like he is trying to get into my good books.

The silence is thick.

‘How was your day???’ He asks tentatively.

I look sharply at him trying to gauge his sincerity.

He looks adequately penitent and is very interested in my answer.

I decide to forgive him.

I then launch into the details of the interesting day I had.

Now this is precisely what I don’t understand….how is it possible that I who stay at home, have so much to say but the better-half who goes out into the world, meets so many people, has nothing much to relate at the end of the day.

Good, good, goood my aaaa…….erm my kidneys.

Anyways had started this post with all the stuff I wanted to share but got side-tracked.

The originally intended post coming soon as it's ready.

I soooo like to act like all of you are waiting with bated breath for my posts.

Do spare a thought for me when you pray, I need all the help I can get for the Hindi exam.

The kids....oh they are good.....gooood....so good that it doesn't at all seem like they are in the midst of their FINAL exams.

I'll stop here before I lose it completely.

Food for the Soul

Last Friday, we were invited to a Show Jumping competition at the Emirates Equestrian Center, Bab Al Shams. So after church we rushed back home to get dressed to leave for the event. We had less than an hour to meet our friends. 

As the others got ready I quickly made lunch. I made stir-fry and fried fish and then on the spot decided to make some curry too to eat with rice. We rushed through lunch and made it 10 minutes late to the appointed spot where we met our friends who were patiently waiting for us. We profusely apologized for the delay and guiltily patted our stomachs to show why we were late.

Our friends had a late breakfast and hadn't bothered with lunch.

We looked at them with respect.

We couldn't ever think of missing a meal. The mere thought of it brings on horrible headaches, temper tantrums and funny feelings in the stomach.

It took us an hour to reach our destination; our friends’ children were making hungry noises towards the end of our journey.

I mentally patted myself for feeding the family before leaving.

The first thing which caught our eyes when we reached our VIP enclosure was the grand spread. Two huge tables alongside the wall were laden with food. Delicious, scrumptious, mouth-watering, lip-smacking FOOOOD.

I slumped down into my VIP chair in shock.

I refused to be consoled for the next 10 minutes.

It was such a mean trick. A low blow I tell you.

You don’t believe me????

Here’s a picture of the salads…

Still wondering what the fuss is all about????

Okay here’s another of the desserts…

Tears stung my eyes especially when I saw the desserts.

I couldn't bear the painful sight of everybody cheerfully serving themselves and so took myself off from there to take pictures of the pretty looking horses with my new DSLR.

The camera was a good one.

It completely sensed my mood.

Almost all of the pictures turned out blurred, just like my vision.

What a lousy weekend, I thought despondently.

You guys are a suspicious lot, I am forced to add here;-S....

Yes it is possible to take bad pictures with a DSLR.

It’s simple really, all you have to do is not read the manual which comes along with the camera.

And never and I mean NEVER listen to the sensible advice your better-half tries to give you.

Tadaaaa…you got your picture in your hand.

Here’s a perfect example…..

And posted below is a picture of the VIP enclosure. 

Who are those people sitting on the sidelines???

The ones who didn't have VIP passes ofcourse.

Can you see them eating??? They had to buy their grub from the restaurant which is not there in the picture. Imagine that???

Feeling more upbeat now I went back to my VIP pavilion. I was ready to sample atleast some of the sumptuous desserts if not all.

I stared at the desserts table in shock.

It was empty.

It was tea-time.

Dainty finger sandwiches and elegant nibbles were rapidly filling up the same spots where the golden pies and tarts and delicious mango mousse once peacefully co-existed side by side.

I could feel myself reeling a little.

I vaguely wondered anybody would mind if I bawled my heart out. After all, crying once in a while was good for the soul.

I should have just sat at home and read a recipe-book or something.

What a terrible, horrible, lousy, LOUSY day, I thought desolately.

A waiter passing by looked at me enquiringly.

Abandoning all sense of shame I shakily pointed to the empty space where the dish I coveted at first glance was resting just a few hours earlier.

He looked blankly at me.

I schooled my voice to utter one word.

Rasmalai????

He turned and went away.

Within half a minute he was back with the huge bowl of Rasmalai.

Stop nit-picking all of you…..it may look small in the picture but it looked HUGE to me.

How many Madam?? The thoughtful server asked me kindly.

The knight who saved my day

“One please” I said politely, aware of my surroundings again.

Have some more, he urged.

Just one, I smiled thanking him.

I was eating rasmalai after many, many years.

Savoured every mouthful and went back home happy.

It turned out to be a GOOD weekend after all.

Rule of Symbolism

I’m a great believer in symbolism.

When I see 2 flowers coyly brushing against each other in a movie I nod understandingly because I know the flowers represent the reel-life couple who are supposedly ‘doing it’.

If I’m driving and I see a multi-coloured ball rolling innocuously across the road, I’ll stand on my brakes & screech to a halt to avoid hitting the child, who I know will be dashing after the ball nano-seconds later.

The same way I firmly believe that whatever happens on Jan 1^st sets a precedent for the rest of the year. 

What do you mean you don’t see the connection between the 3 instances I mentioned above???

May I remind you are reading the blog of an ordinary, overworked, underpaid[what pay???], harassed homemaker and not one of Einstein’s theories?

Jan 1^st did not at all go the way I envisioned it.

We got up in the morning at………

Nope, not going to tell you the time.

Let's just leave it at...we had a LATE breakfast

The kids who were instructed to do some ‘symbolic’ studying vanished right after breakfast to play hang out with their friends.

Better-half also disappeared with a friend half-way thru.

Leaving me all alone contemplate where it all started to go wrong. 

Lunch when it finally happened was at 4pm.

Now take a wild guess how I felt when I found myself still in the kitchen at 6pm on New Years Day clearing away lunch while the family and friends were in the living room, heatedly discussing a highly improbable takeover of Kingfisher Airlines by Etihad Airways.

I was soooo tired and raging inwardly.

And knew there was no hope for me for the next 365 days.

2013 was going to be screwed, I just knew it.

I know you are wondering what you could possibly comment without hurting my feelings, without letting me know how big a non-issue you find the whole issue.

And me, I just hate myself when I put my favourite people in such sticky situations.

So  just for you I’ll try to recall if there was anything positive about the whole day.

…..

…..

How about this….

On Jan 1^st I ate some sinfully rich & scrumptious birthday cake. 

We had sizzlers for dinner.

Yes I've already realized I’ll be eating my way thru 2013:-S

My birthday was good though.

I don’t want to bore you with all the details. So will just give you the jist of it.

Better-half fixed an English breakfast for us.

A LATE English breakfast[CAPS helpfully added so that you don’t miss the symbolism].

The ONLY day in the whole year he makes a meal. 

I played patriotic songs on the laptop while I waited to be served.

I would rather have watched the Republic Day parade but we don't have Doordarshan.

It was GOOD.

The breakfast I mean. 

A meal fit for a Queen & her entourage.

We didn't behave like Royalty though.

We stuffed ourselves so much it was not funny.

Half an hour later when I loudly deliberated over the lunch menu; the family clamped their hands over their ears & made gagging sounds.

I mentally rubbed my hands in glee.

Because it meant I was free for the rest of the day.

Then in the evening in a surprise move they took me out and I got a DSLR for a birthday gift.

A Nikon D5200.

Now that was a wonderful surprise;-D.

I thought they were going to get me this gorgeous stooopid bag I was staring at earlier in the month.

In short a SUPER birthday.

Which brings me back to my rock-steady belief in symbolism.

After much delibration, I've decided to take the whole month into consideration[one day is too less to judge a whole year right] and have come to the conclusion that it is going to be a year of highs and lows.

It seems like the first half of every month I’ll be in the depths of despair and the next 15 days will see me as high as a kite.

Will keep you in the loop ofcourse, whether you like it or not, goes without saying.

************************************************

p.s: If my post didn’t make you laugh then read this one…it's DI's tutorial on how to get a free postcard from Dubai. 

p.p.s: And if you want to laugh some more then read this New Year post I wrote 2 years back. I'm determined that you laugh atleast once before you leave here.

p.p.p.s: I’ll post the much-hyped photograph in my next post. I wanted to post it today but somehow found myself typing this out.

Rule of Symbolism: It's considered deep and profound for some, dumb & pretentious for others.

A simple question

All I asked in my last post was a simple question…

I had posted a picture of this bird and asked “Nice picture????”

Remember???

The picture was either nice or not nice.

How difficult was it to answer that???

But nobody…

Not a single person….I tell you, said anything.

Can u imagine how it made me feel????

Especially since I sent that same picture to a photo contest and….

AND….

It didn’t get selected.

But there’s another picture which got selected through the preliminaries.

I even won a small prize for it.

If you are nice to me I’ll put up the picture & details in my next post.

And sooo a post

I was in the kitchen frantically trying to do 4 things at the same time. Lunch was going to be late if I didn’t hurry. 

Just then the better-half calls out to me from the bedroom. I turn down the flame to simmer 2 dishes and was trying to finish the seasoning on the third when he calls out again. I wipe my hands on the towel and hurry into the bedroom where the hero & the kids are lounging on the bed.

“Tell me quick, I've got stuff happening on the stove.” I say preoccupied.

The better-half leans forward, pats the side of the bed for me to sit and says “You know, I was just thinking that 2017 is going to be crucial year for us because Nikita will be in her 12^th and Naina in 10th grade”.

“Goodness, however are we going to manage??”  I look at him in worry. 

“Right now I can’t even imagine them in 10^th & 12th. But you know what, there is one thing in our favour; both of them will have these exams in the same year and so they will finish in one go. Otherwise just imagine, we’ll be freaking with the same issue for 2 years” I shudder.

The better-half leans back against the pillows contemplating. I return to the kitchen still pondering about the issue and am attacked by the acrid smell of something burning.

Damn. Damn.

I quickly turn off the heat and attempt damage control.

[Insert elevator music here]

Marching back to the bedroom I demand…

“You called me sooo urgently to discuss something which is going to happen in 2017”.

===========================

Snow writes in the previous comment section "aw come on.. now that we're used to reading your posts every day, u can't stop :P we need our daily fix of Nancy-isms ;-) :-)."

Who can resist a comment like that???

And soooo a post:-))).

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Tried and Tested on Kids

A friend of mine got married in his late thirties and they had a baby recently. He is a big guy in the creative field, very confident but fatherhood has completely freaked him out. He takes a very healthy interest in his baby and even the minutest details are given a lot of attention. 

Once in a while we meet online, after the barest pleasantries he is onto his favourite subject…his baby. I try to calm him down with all the stuff I remember about when my kids were little. One day he thanked me profusely for all the help and asked me why despite being a mother there wasn’t a single post on bringing up children on the blog.

I laughed & dismissed the idea of a post outright but after grandly announcing my return to blogging a week back and then looking around blankly for a while[for inspiration;-P] I didn’t have much choice.

Anyways here is some gyaan for what it’s worth….

#Babies generally cry for 3 reasons; hunger, lack of sleep or a wet nappy. Only after you’ve ticked off these 3 things, should you proceed forward to exploring your other[often unfounded] fears.

Another reason could be gas. That’s why burps are like sweet music to the parents’ ears. Timely burps also saves you from needing to change your outfit after every feed which your baby dutifully throws up on you.
How to do it: Hold baby upright and pat the back gently for a while. You know what they say about watched kettles right……don’t expect the burb right away; give it 20 mins, if you are lucky it will happen in 10. The little ones who burp immediately & to the point[minus the mess I mean] have very, very lucky parents.

#Using cotton nappys is a very noble thought but if you want a good night’s sleep use a good[brand] diaper only for the nights. Just wash the itty-bitty bummy with water & mild soap everytime you change the diaper & apply a bit of Vaseline. A good night’s sleep for everybody involved assured.

#Don’t knock Pacifiers without trying them. If you have a baby with Mariah Carey’s musical pitch[the kind that can shatter glass] or the depth of an ambulance siren[goes on and on] pacifiers are life-savers. This tip is from a good friend.

#Please don’t invest in baby walkers. They ruin the shape of your little one’s legs. Many of the bow-legged children you see around you are victims of these contraptions.

#Resist the temptation of taking pictures of your little ones without their clothes. Spare a thought for the poor kid who will cringe in embarrassment later on. And maybe even hold it against you for the rest of his life.
I’m not even going into the bit about when these pics get into the wrong hands.

#Sleep is very important. A schedule even more so. A child who sleeps & wakes up on schedule is a happy kid [most of the time].

#Tantrums can be avoided 85% of the time if the parents are alert. Take the child away immediately from the cause of discontent and distract him with something else. DO NOT allow the child to wallow in his misery thinking you are teaching him a lesson. All it serves is to make him more stubborn.

#Be extra careful when you use words like ‘No’, ‘I don’t know’ and ‘Go get it yourself’. Before you know it they’ll be repeating it back to you….and in the same tone;-/.

On the same topic…..we all know how fast they pick up phrases like ‘Shut up’ ‘get out’ and ‘I hate him’ or ‘he's lying’. Instead of yelling at them uselessly, teach them to substitute the same with ‘Keep quiet’ ‘please leave’ and ‘I don’t like him’ or  'he's not telling the truth'. You may have to repeat this a few times but once they get the hang of it our ears are spared.

And the last life-saving tip….

#Never, I say never teach your toddler the correct word for a ‘private part’ of the body. Use a nickname, codeword or refer to it as another bodypart. This tip will save you from embarrassment more times than you’ll be able to count.

There’s more but I’ll get off while the going is good. I get the feeling some of you are already looking at me very disapprovingly.

Once again, I don’t claim to be any expert; these are some things which worked for me and I’m sharing them with you. Feel free to discuss, argue and add your gyaan on how it worked for youJ.