"If the path be beautiful....

.....let us not ask where it leads" ~ Anatole France

'Path'etic return to the blog world, you think:-P???

Arigatou

People think I'm this very laid back kind of person……I am I am but what they don't know is that a lot of pressure, anxiety and hard work goes into looking like a laid back person. Yessss, that’s what I am……. a stressed out person trying hard to be laid back.

So the last 2 weeks I was not in a very good frame of mind……was out of sorts….got sick, went all moody and was feeling low generally. I doubt the family even knew because I was okay with them just maybe a little too quiet. The better-half was out of town so he had no clue. The kids were their boisterous selves so there also it went unnoticed.

The blog when I finally got around to giving it some attention got the brunt of it……and out came a post which wavered between unhappiness and mulishness. A little bit of defiance and depreciation thrown in. And oodles of self-pity;-P.

As I hit 'publish' I wondered what you’ll make of the incoherent matter; bits and pieces from here and there just randomly listed out on the post. I could even imagine you guys staring at the blank comment space & thinking ‘uhhh….what kind of a comment do I post to this???’

I’m one of those ‘types’….you know the kinds who runs at the sight of emotions…..all the hugs and kisses & the touchy-feely stuff are soo not me. Even with friends it is only now after all these years that we sort of peck eachothers cheeks when we meet but take a step back quickly…..our friendship is more the backslapping[making sure the recipient lurches forward who then turns & whack a harder one back ] & back-handed compliments kinds. Even when the kids hug me….sure I hug them back but it’s one of those quick fierce hugs where in the next minute you’ll see me disentangling myself to breathe freely.

And so I was saying…...your comments threw me. I don’t know what I expected but never what was written.

Each one of U wrote such beautiful and thoughtful comments. Even though I hung onto the ‘I’m depressed I refuse to be comforted mode’ for a few more days after that, I read and reread every one of your lovely responses and the mails I got.

Just want to say that there’s this warm feeling inside me…..a feeling which refuses to go away. Yep a warm fuzzy feeling which has enveloped me and transformed me back to that laid-back person mentioned above, minus the stress ofcourse:-)).

I want to say more but am always at a loss for words when I need them most.


p.s: @title - means 'Thank You' in Japanese. I have a follower from Japan. He calls himself Uncle Polyglot. I have been patiently waiting for him to comment on my blog for sometime now. In the meanwhile, I'm practicing my Japanese;-D

p.p.s: The correct way to say it is Arigatou gozaimasu but that becomes very formal and our relationship is not like formal is it. So thats why only Arigatou....alright, alright I'll quit showing off;-/

A question a day....whadayya say?????

I’ve decided to do a month-long marathon……..the one-post-a-day kind of marathon for the next 30 days. Before you hit the palm of your hand flat against your forehead, hear me out. This is not that kind of a marathon. Take that long-suffering look off your face Rakesh & Hitchwriter;-/.

Like I was saying…it’s not that kind of marathon. You know me……will I ever sic something like that on you???? Come on…I like all of you and want you to be my blog-friends for forevaa;-D

Okay so what makes me want to do this? The thing is…..I want to know more about you. It’s been more than 4 yrs now on Blogger but I don’t know so many basic details about my blog buddies. Yeah there is FaceBook but since I hardly go there, there is no point talking about it.
Now I do understand the fact that most of you rather be anonymous on Blogger….but please note I’m not going to pick your brains on anything controversial like the 'Syrian unrest' or the 'Govt. strategy against Anna Hazare'. I’m just going to ask you normal stuff like what you had for breakfast & then walk around feeling like a demi-goddess for the rest of the day for I alone know what 40 different people from across the globe had for breakfast this morning. See that’s how much shallow I am;-D.

Aaaah see, now U are also getting comfortable with the idea;-)).

I want ALL of you who pass by this page how ever innocently, to participate…. more answers equal more fun don’t you think. So starting tomorrow there will be 22 questions for 30 days. Noooo I’m not cheating already*indignantly*. I was thinking about you, you guys deserve 2 days off every week for all the hard work you’ll be doing. So now that we've agreed; Saturdays & Sundays are rest days.

Now to make it more interactive the 1st answer in the comment box will be mine. But please don’t feel constrained to follow my cue……tackle the question however you feel like it.

Some gyaan………
# There is no right or wrong answers to anything here. But do try to stick to the truth. Sense of humour an added bonus:-)

# There are no restrictions on the number of words. Your answer to my questions can be a 1 word answer or a long-winded explanation. However I’m very partial to long-winded explanations….details, I want details.

# Ummm…. sometimes[only somedays] the question for the day could mysteriously multiply into 3 or 4 of them…….but don’t panic, it will be on the same subject only.

# Comments containing bad language will be moderated unless ofcourse I specifically ask you what your favourite cuss word is.

And not the least.....
# Lurkers, this is your best chance to introduce yourself. Because if I track you down first, I’ll embarrass the life out of you.

I start the marathon tomorrow. So are you IN????????

It was more difficult than I thought....

Been away for so long now that I’m finding it almost embarrassing to pen a post here…..I feel weird like I've never done it before. But I was determined to put up atleast 1 post before calling it quits. Seriously, I was cringing every time I went on somebody's page and saw my link with the so-very dated 'Merry Christmas' showing up;-P.

After nearly 25 minutes of trying to frame propah sentences I was just about ready to give up when I thought I’ll just keep typing whatever comes to my fingertips[a tip I always used to encourage fellow bloggers with;-P].
I remember Ashwini of Thoughtful Train warning me that taking a break was the worst decision I could make. According to her very few get back on track; well she should know coz its been almost a year since she has updated;-D. I have to reluctantly agree with her….I almost didn’t make it. Honestly if it wasn’t for Sulo, Bindu, lan, Manisha, Sakshi, Swaram, Uma and Preeti/Ramesh team hounding me I would still be dilly-dallying around. As of now I’m not sure how long I’m going to last but am going to give it a darned good try. So there!!!!

I’m trying to recall how in the world I managed to write stuff earlier & then again why on earth did I stop? It’s not like I achieved something earth-shattering during the time I was not blogging. When I look back there was no particular reason just a combination of things like the kids’ exams, visitors, vacation & trying to be a one-man army which made me think a break wasn’t a bad idea at all.

Getting back to what I did in these 8 months [gosh 8 months]….. nothing much really. The same ole stuff….sheesh thts sounds so very depressing. Oh yes my sister & family visited us….finally I tell u. Every year they would tell us that they were coming & then call it off. It was only when I talked casually about relocating back to India within a year or two that she panicked & took the first available days off to come over.

I was so thrilled that I spent a busy week sprucing up my house and scheduling ‘things to do’ so that they got the maximum out of their visit. And what an anti-climax it turned out to be. Totally non-adventurous types I tell u. After the 1st 3-4 days they were perfectly content sitting around & talking at home. The only place my sister asked to go was the zoo......and I was like "there is a perfect zoo in Mysore & so many spread all over India but trust her to travel all the way to Dubai[desert remember] of all places, to show her daughter a zoo;-/". Sisterly love warred fiercely with 'my unruly tongue' but sisterly love won[oh well she was here just for a week]. So we took them to the Al Ain Zoo and she was happy with that. I then had to literally drag them all over town showing them rest of the sights and then spent another 10 days trying to recover from it all after they left. I actually sobbed loudly & clung to her[my sister] when she was leaving. I feel like an idiot now when I think about it…. we as in, our family prides itself on not being those 'emotional types' you know.

And ooooohhhhhh how could I forget to tell you this, guess what the better-half gifted me on my birthday….a course in cake decorating and just not any course; it was the ‘Wilton Cake Decorating Course’. I loved the gift ofcourse but everybody else to whom I mentioned it looked very puzzled and had a ‘okkkkayyy but what are you so excited about??’ expression. The children on the other hand were ecstatic coz they thought they were also included;-). When they realized they were not[we did try to get permission but they said only US had the facility where children were included not Dubai] they kicked up a minor fuss. They contented themselves studying my course material thoroughly & second guessing me at every turn & correcting me on every mistake I made;-/. I also had to demonstrate to them everything that was taught to me in class after I came back.

So yeah, I now know how to decorate a cake…….with roses and all, cool huh. Before you think I’m an expert let me tell you I was one of the worst ones…..too slow for one & clumsy, though the instructor & fellow students kept encouraging me with ‘there is room for improvement’…..lots of roooooooms if you ask me. My children, blind to all the inconsistencies, gave me fulsome compliments and I was so pathetically gratified;-D. Posting a few pictures of my efforts below……..at that time I didn’t think I was going to display it on my blog otherwise I would done a better job clicking them….…you know zooming in & taking pics of only the good parts & conveniently blurring the rest;-D.

  

My 1st effort

Cupcakes were fun to do

By the time I finished this much the rest of the class had already presented theirs & left

On a BB

There’s too much happening in my life right now and I feel so terrible that I am not able to post regularly. Earlier I used to post twice a week but now I find myself putting up a post once in 2 weeks…...that too with great difficulty.

The realization took a few weeks to sink in and especially after the exit of my lifeline read maid;-(. Past 2 months have been hectic; been busy with guests, the kids’ exams and housework. I feel like a total jerk when I go to the pages of blog friends & realize I hadn’t been there for weeks. Where is all the time flying???
It reached the heights when Anjuli mailed me saying that she was going to mention me in one of her posts & I go to her page in the last week of May to see her participating in a month long blogathon which had just a few days left. I didn’t realize it had been that long I visited her. And I was hopping mad at myself for missing out on the prize she gave away. And what’s worse now is that I realize the lethargy I feel reflects even in my commenting; and that’s really getting me down coz I pride myself on being good commenter.
Blogging was something I started when I had a lot of time on my hands…the company I was working for was going downhill & there was no work at all on some days. It was fun then. I felt privileged when people came on their own and started commenting on my posts. There was so much to say then. Once I left the job the number of posts dwindled but I bravely plowed on. Infact I must be the only ‘regular’ blogger out here who’s been at it for almost 3 years and still not reached her 200th post.

At first I thought I’ll end it all as in stop blogging but I just couldn’t bear the idea of a total termination. I have ‘met’ so many like-minded people out here who have become good friends now. Nope, no way was I going to give it all up.

And so now I’m toying with the idea of a blog break. The summer hols are coming up and I’m going to be terribly busy anyways; nope, not going to be specific and say that I’m going to be away for 2 or 6 months but just hope it’s not going to be for ever;-(.

It actually breaks my heart to do this but I need to get a few things in order. I'm not going to take ur leave and all that jazz coz I wouldn't know how to....so in short, take care everybody, be good, work hard, party harder, drink lots of water and dont do things that I wouldn't do. I hope to be back as early as possible.



And oh, just an afterthought; there are so many of u out there who pass this way, read and go away. Do drop a line, it will make me feel really good and who knows it may be just the inspiration I need to get started again:-)).

Alister Cameron says blogging is not about writing posts....

I was frantically googling “How to maintain a spic & span house, especially when guests are arriving in 15 minutes“ when I came across a few quotes on Blogging. Entranced, I did some digging and came up with some more interesting and candid views about blogging. Some were astute while others were plain hilarious. Here, judge for yourselves:


“Your blog is your unedited version of yourself.” – Lorelle

"The heart of blogging is linking...linking and commenting. Connecting and communicating - the purpose of the Internet." ~ George Siemens

"Blogging is hard because of the grind required to stay interesting and relevant." ~ Sufia Tippu

"Blogs are whatever we make them. Defining 'blog' is a fool's errand." ~ Michael Conniff

"Bottomline of a successful blog is what else but solid contents" ~ Partha Bhattacharya

"The ease and appeal of blogging is inspiring a new group of writers and creators to share their voices with the world." ~ Unknown

"Blogging is not rocket science, it’s about being yourself, and putting what you have into it." ~ Unknown

“Don’t focus on having a great blog. Focus on producing a blog that’s great for your readers.” ~ Brian Clark

“People have often described me as a blogger. I generally shy away from the term because, to me, bloggers are boring, self obsessed narcissists who use their website mainly as a means to discuss the inconsequential minutiae of their day to day lives.” ~ Anonymous

“I believe the term “blog” means more than an online journal. I believe a blog is a conversation. People go to blogs to read AND write, not just consume.” ~ Michael Arrington

“But there’s a bigger trend I’m seeing: people who used to enjoy blogging their lives are now moving to Twitter.”~ Robert Scoble

“The bottom line is that blogging is like sex. You can’t fake it. You can’t fake passion. You can’t fake wanting to engage with the public. If you do, it will ultimately be an unsatisfying experience for both the blogger and their readers.” ~ Kevin Anderson

“It should feel genuinely good to earn income from your blog — you should be driven by a healthy ambition to succeed. If your blog provides genuine value, you fully deserve to earn income from it.” ~ Steve Pavlina

“The more popular a person thinks he is in the blogosphere, the thinner his skin and the thicker his hypocrisy. This should be exactly the opposite: the higher you go the thicker the skin and thinner the hypocrisy.” ~ Guy Kawasaki

“In China, blogs enable millions of citizens to express their opinions with reduced political risk simply because of the sheer number of like-minded opinions online. Facing these independent voices, the old ideological machine starts to crumble.” ~ Xiao Qiang

“Yes, blogging is entertainment. It is performance. Each blog post a show, sometimes an opera, sometimes a 30 second commercial. Like a show, it may start with a bang, lead you along from song to song, have a great climatic moment, then leave the audience wanting more.” ~Lorelle Van Fossen

“As I have repeatedly written in one form or other, blogging is not about writing posts. Heck, that’s the least of your challenges. No, blogging is about cultivating a mutually beneficial relationships with an ever-growing online readership, and that’s hard work.” ~ Alister Cameron

“Unless you restrict your reading habits to a really small segment of the blogging population, or you are a blogging machine like Robert Scoble, a feed reader is only going to give you a small window of what is happening in the blogosphere.” ~ Andy Beard

“I read blogs every day, for all sorts of reasons, but I turn to blogs especially when I want to hear alternative viewpoints — for example, information on a particular medical treatment from the viewpoint of patients receiving it, rather than doctors administering it; reports from the battlefield seen through the eyes of soldiers rather than politicians; thoughts on a particular technology from the standpoint of engineers rather than executives.” ~ Jim Buckmaster

“Blogging is an art, same as any other method of self-expression. Some are better at it than others.” ~ Hugh Macleod


So many people, so many views, I simply enjoyed browsing through them. There were lots more but my guests were arriving like in 3 minutes so I reluctantly closed the window but not before saving the links. U know me, always considerate;-D. So if you are interested, you can check them out here, here and here.

Now you tell me, what does Blogging mean to You???????????

How Blogging helps me…

 

It’s been a mere 2+ years but it seems like I’ve been blogging for ever. Blogging has taken over my life in such a way that I now look at my life in 2 categories; Life before My Blog and Life after My Blog. *And my subconscious produces an image of my better-half looking at me incredulously* well ok I’m kidding but you know what I mean, right!!!!

When I think about the person I was before I started blogging and how I am now……nope, I’m not going to say I’m a completely changed person but there’s definitely been a difference. And I proudly list them out below:

Blogging has resulted in Improved Writing: Initially I started out writing for myself and so didn’t bother too much about legibility, syntaxes or continuity. But gradually the fact that many people were reading my posts started to dawn and that did make a difference to my writing. I became more careful about how I presented my subject and tried hard to bring clarity in my thoughts which I feel has resulted in improved writing; I can’t say for sure though, the only person who can tell me that is YOU.

Blogging made me more focused: I used to be somebody who had problems concentrating on a task to the finish but blogging is something I have not tired of even after 2 years. I pride myself on the fact that I complete what I start…..all my posts have concluding paragraphs don’t they???? Infact I never realized how much patience I had until I clicked NO on the word document I wrote on Global Village & watched the whole post disappear into nothing. I put my head down and wept. Unlike most posts which come out of my head, I had gone thru a hundred links for this one. I sat down the next day again, hunted out all those links and wrote the whole post painstakingly from scratch. I don’t ever remember putting in this much effort even for school exams.

Blogging helped me accept compliments more gracefully: I can’t pinpoint exactly what it is but compliments make me uncomfortable. Say for eg, somebody complimented me on a particular dish I made I would go all flustered and immediately explain that the vegetables were really fresh, how the masala was handground and brought all the way from Kerala and thats why it was so good. The better-half would time and again tell me there was no need to go into long-winded explanations and just accept the compliments at face value. When I started getting compliments for the posts I wrote, for a long time I never really believed them. I would scrutinize the post and shake my head in wonder; they made me feel happy ofcourse but I thought all of U were being kind. Gradually the realization dawned that people would not keep coming back again and again if they didn’t like they were reading. Now I have begun to accept them gracefully both here and in life.

Blogging helps me with my children: I never interacted with small children in my teenage years; infact I remember deliberately keeping my distance from them. When I had 2 kids of my own I’m not going to say I was awful at child rearing but reading many mama blogs gave me innovative ideas how to keep them occupied, make interesting snacks they’d like to eat and helped me reach them at their wavelength. Inshort blogging about my children, their perspectives and inturn receiving valuable input & compliments from ALL of you boosted my knowledge and confidence.

Blogs keep me updated: There are days when I don’t watch the news on tv or read newspapers. But reading blogs really help me keep up with both technology and current affairs. And the links provided at these places give me all the information which I’m sure I would not get in any newspaper.

People & accomplishments: Reading about ordinary people & their extraordinary achievements always leave me inspired. There is something about reading it in blogs….sort of makes it more real than reading what is written rather dryly in the papers.

And finally….

Blogging is restorative: Honestly in many ways it’s been rather therapeutic for me. Blogging about people, places and Pluto myself really helped me express myself & in some vague yet definite way I’ve learned to appreciate the few redeeming qualities I have. Now if I weren’t blogging imagine how much I would have had to shell out for a psychologist to arrive at the same conclusion;-D.

Now you tell me, how has blogging proved beneficial for you?????

Thank U Preeti for asking me:-)!!!!

Preeti Shenoy was putting up her 400th post and wanted to make it special. So she chose this novel way of inviting a ‘select’ few [ahem;-D] to answer a set of thought-provoking questions though in the beginning I thought they were more mind-numbing than provoking; oh you know me, I run at the 1st sight of emotion and here she was asking difficult questions about  Love, Death & such-like.

I so wanted to chicken out at first but was torn between 'feeling important' and thinking ‘have no clue what to write’.
I deliberated with lofty thoughts for a while and the page remained blank as ever, then finally slid down to the bottom and wrote like how I usually do. So yeah I sent in my answers and chewed my nails to nothing to release the tension.

And it’s up today. I’m so glad I made the effort, do go take a look here[1st part] and here[2nd part].

Thank You Preeti for asking me, it made me feel really good!!!!

Ps: Since it's not exactly a proper post as such, I have disabled comments

A tough act to Follow

Below is a comment I posted today at Agnes blog. I thought I'll tell all of u about it as so many of u have kindly "Followed" me and I havent returned the compliment.
[ I have taken the liberty to edit it a bit here & there but the jist of the matter remains the same]

"Agnes I came here to confess.....I so wanted to follow ur blog but experience[and  a teeny-weeny bit of superstition] has taught me that the minute I blogroll or follow somebody they stop posting on their blog. U dont believe me....take my blogroll itself, initially there were atleast 12-14 blog links there, as soon as I blogrolled them 4 bloggers stopped writing.......yes, just like that;-o.

Within 2-3 months 3 more stopped. And now if u notice, except for Preeti Shenoy all the rest of them I personally have to go blog to blog bugging them to update;-(.
Almost the same thing happens when I watch cricket. As soon as I sit down comfortably, players start getting out for the silliest of reasons. When I stand up they are hitting 1's & 2's. As soon as I leave the room they are belting fours & sixes. So now I stand behind the curtain & peek;-(.

I love reading what you write Agnes and dont want to lose you for selfish reasons. I hope u do understand my dilemma and won't hold it against me."


ps: On the other hand, somebody has stopped following me around 4 days back. I spent atleast 2 hours trying to figure out who the blogger was but my memory is unreliable at the best of times. Be warned all of u who are hatching plans to stop following me, now I have all ur names down in alphatbetical order on my laptop & if I find anybody missing I'll......I'll......

Halt!!! Who goes there?????

Scrutinizing the links which show thru the feedjit counter and spamming in other bloggers' comment boxes has become a recent and very important part of my daily routine…..yeah well since I’m not posting all that much I have to channelise all that pent-up energy somewhere, right.

Between today and last Tuesday I got some 400+ hits[553 including me] on my last post but just around 50 beautiful, lovely, wonderful, super bloggers have very kindly commented on it.

Dear persons who read the posts here but don’t comment, don’t you feel bad like as if you’ve accepted candy from a sweet little cherubic child & gone away without saying a word or a smile???? Just think for a moment how bewildered, how shattered, how heart-broken that adorable angelic little girl must have felt.

Yeah yeah I know I’m going overboard taking the sentimental route but the whole idea is to make you feel terrible……..the question here is, how lousy are you feeling about it?????

After reading just 3 or 4 posts on this page one doesn’t need Einstein’s brain to arrive at the conclusion that I have an IQ of an Iguana or maybe even lower than that.
Come on, I don’t talk about nuclear missiles or the Ringamore wastelands** here…..though I did talk about Rocket-science in 1 post……but that was just once……and I was actually displaying my ignorance on the subject, really. I write about everyday things or incidents which I’m sure most of you identify with. And I’m quite sure you would not keep coming back to a page to which you couldn’t relate at all.

How hard is it to pen a harmless one liner letting me know you were here…..u know it would make me feel so good.

Many of u are not aware of it but I blog under great pressure. I have a better-half who thinks I could have lost atleast 15kgs of weight in all this time I've spent blogging, a maid who threatens to quit coz she’s allergic to the sight of me tapping away at the laptop, children who pull me from both sides as soon as they see me login into blogger, parents who have no clue what blogging is all about, a sister who about once in 6 months casually asks me whether I’m still blogging and unsuspecting neighbours from whom I hide my blog since I write about them from time to time.
So you see, my only relief is the comments I get from u……I lap them all up and begin to believe in my own worth. You & I know it’s another world out here…..very few non-bloggers understand the ‘nasha’* of receiving comments from beautiful people across the big wide world.

I do understand the difficulty you face to write that first comment. I know for a fact that commentophobia is a natural tendency among both new & seasoned bloggers…….I too used to hesitate so much in the initial days and sometimes even now.

But you must, atleast just this once, delurk & let me know u've been here:-))

So to make it easy for you I have, after much deliberation, put together 3 simple phrases to help you get over the initial hesitation ….

Sample 1: Thank U Nancy for making it so easy for me to de-lurk.

Sample 2: Me thinks your posts are full of &%$%#@&.

Sample 3: I have better things to do in life than comment here.

Now all you have to do is just copy-paste one of the above into the comment box and click submit. Has anybody else made it easier than this?????

Ofcourse anonymous & troll comments for the 2nd point will be closely monitored. And if you feel all of the above is inadequate you are welcome to write about how wonderful a person blogger you think I am. But I just didn’t want to appear too eager or rush you in these initial stages. So we’ll take it step by step, what say?????

Now after all this, if you are going to pretend that everything I’ve said above went over your head, I’ll make it short and snappy….

Just delurk dammit!!!!!!!!


* Nasha = addiction

**Ringamore wastelands = they dont exist, I made it up

p.s: Pssssttttt I’ll be putting up the awards sooooon [[‘wink, wink’]].

Plagiarizers I have a bone to pick with U......

Yesterday I came across this post where a blogger is accused of stealing a whole post from another blogger & pasting it as her own. There were some 90+ comments from a lot of people across the globe all indignant & ready to show their muscles. This intimidated the faker so much so that she[or was it a he] deleted the whole blog in remorse or was it humiliation.

And I felt so sad…….for myself. I’ve been blogging consistently almost 2 years now & have a lot of material which can be put to some good use. If you notice I don’t even have ‘creative copyright fundoo license whatever’ written anywhere in my blog. Anybody is free to plagiarize, borrow, steal anything they want from here but I have to face upto this reality glaring into my face……the honest truth that nobody wants to. Booohoohoo……..nobody wants to copy my stuff.

It seemed like an all too familiar scenario……I’m transported back to when I was in school, where once in a while I would learn up all the material for the exams & find the question-paper very easy to answer. While writing my paper I would keep a sharp eye out for anybody who wanted help. As expected, slowly heads which were bent over the question paper would rise & try to get the attention of the intelligent people in the class. I would attempt so hard to catch the eye of these people & smile at them with assurance…you know like winking & miming that they can ask me whatever they want. All I got in return was a raised eye-brow or a kind smile before they turned away to concentrate on the first-rankers. Huh!!!!!!

Good thing I had a thick-skin otherwise just imagine how much my father would have had to shell out in the name of counseling.

And you know this reminds me of another incident………..I used to go to college on a Hero Puch. Even my dear papa used to take the public transport but he got me a bike coz I used to be sick all over the fellow-passengers.
I took to the bike like a duck to water. I loved to stop at the local bus-stand & invite fellow college-mates so that I could save them a bumpy ride in the local transport. And I used to thoroughly enjoy the ride…you know its always great to have company….we sort of reached college faster. Soon I started noticing that as soon I was within sight of the bus stand, a few of them would rush into the middle of the crowd & try to make themselves invisible. The heights of it was when I saw my father trying to make himself as small as possible so that I wouldn’t notice him. Ofcourse I confronted him. He went all belligerent about not wanting his daughter taking control of his life & then when he saw I was hurt he said placating “Maybe if you focused more on the road in front of you……..”.

That familiar feeling of worthlessness is creeping up on me.

My posts……..what do they lack????? I’m so proud of them. Unlike yours, all the ideas are original…….each of them have been painstakingly written from scratch and elaborated on, each sentence is scrutinized atleast 5-6 times to see if it in sync with the rest of the matter, even the title of each post is decided upon only after much deliberation. I ask you……what is it which is lacking here????? Am I not worthy of atleast a teeny–weeny bit of it…does nobody want to copy-paste into their blogs my "Rat-a-tat” post or my “If you cut your nails on Tuesday, you’ll get money” post or the “I was stalked” post.

I’m sure it can't have escaped your notice that I too have got 41 followers, so many kind people have blog-rolled me & I get an average of 30-40 comments per post…….then why?????????

Mujh mein aisa kya kami hai, mere blogger saathiyoe???????*


*A dialogue usually voiced shrilly by the heroine in Hindi Cinemas & it roughly translates to "where am I found lacking, my blogger friends?????

A Useful TAG

After my last post, I was flooded with HTML tag questions [ummm…of how to do a strikethrough mainly] by other bloggers, so I thought I’ll share with you whatever little I know……

I'm actually targetting this post at the beginner bloggers since the veteran bloggers will know most of the tags I have displayed here.

So here are a few simple HTML tags to help our posts & comments look more attractive:

To begin with, < > & < / >are called HTML tags. We put our requiremment inbetween these tags & make it work.

# For BOLD,
First insert "b" inbetween <>
Then ur matter comes in the middle
and to end put "/b" inbetween <>

Got it??????

Similarly….
# For Italics, use "i" inbetween <> your matter here < / i >

# For underline, use "u" inbetween <> your matter here < / u >

# For strikethrough - put "s" inbetween <> then ur matter & /s inbetween <> in the end[Thanks Rakesh:-)]

# For Bold, italics & underline together - put "b", "i" & "u" in <><><> your matter here < / b >< / i >< / u >

# And if you want to align just 1 word or sentence in the center, use center inbetween <> your matter < / center >

# A simple br between < > will put space between 2 sentences. There is no closing tag for this.
[I included this tag as .......sometimes even though you put a space between 2 sentences to start a new paragraph, in the post or comments section it will show like they are in the same paragraph. So this tag helps]

# For blockquote, put blockquote inbetween <> Matter < / blo ckquote >
This is used when you want to share an example or a quote.
[Here your sentence will start 2 inches after ur normal sentence & end 2 inches before the normal sentence....a sort of an indent. Try it out.]

Have you noticed how a few bloggers link you directly in your comments section[For eg. I've tagged u, click here]. I for one, was very impressed by this & Snow showed me how to do this with a simple Tag.

# Put a href just before the = sign
"< = "link goes here"> Click Here < / a >
[except for a single space between a & h please remember no spaces anywhere else when you actually do it And you can remove the ‘click here’ if you don’t need it & show the link as it is.]

#And my last tip, how to place a UTube link directly on ur page:
This is how Goofy Mumma taught me:

*Go to the Edit HTML tab while composing your post.
*Copy the embed code of your preferred video from YouTube.
*Paste it where you want to put the video in your post.
*Done!

That's it People.....I've given U all I know. Now if any of the bloggers who are passing by is in a generous mood to impart knowledge please dont hesitate. I will edit this post & add the information here with due credit ofcourse.

Any doubts with the tags or if a sentence doesnt make sense, I'll be glad to clarify it & if I dont know I'll find out. Just dont forget to thank me;-D.

Note: Once again.....I stress - I've put spaces between the tags coz Blogger will take it as tag & wont let me show U how it is done. So remove all spaces while U use the tags.

And oh I almost forgot, can anybody help Iya......she[ & I] wonder how to add a header to a blog.


Edited to add: Dear Friends........the whole post is behaving crazy. Half the tags have gone wonky. I've tried to fix it but.......


Edited once again: Nothing I try is working:-(
....Hopefully this should teach me NOT to meddle with stuff I dont know.


And again: OK everybody, I've re-edited the post once more. Its sort of OK now. Check it out. As I mentioned, any doubts, u can.....;-P

We need CHANGE

***A letter addressed to all professionals at Blogger who are endlessly persevering to make it a better place for us***


Dear Experts,

Subject: Blogspot’s future at stake

I have documented a few issues here which I’m sure will be of great interest to you. I didn’t want to bother you initially as I’m more than aware you are all very busy people who work really hard to make blogger the best on the web, but few matters made me pause & as a loyal subscriber wanted to make you aware of it.

Allow me to proceed directly to matters burning at the tip of my fingers.

I do wonder if you’ve noticed that, in recent months quite a few of your loyal followers have ditched the wagon[pardon the slang, here & everywhere else] & joined hands with a competitor who has lured them away with promises & previews of better themes & options. If you haven’t then please click here and here and here and here………………

Seriously, how much time or effort does it take you to make blogger a more user friendly workspace for your subscribers????
For instance, have you noticed that your themes are hardly anything to write home about???? You have more than a million users & you offer them a total choice of 16 templates with some piddly options to change colors????

Yes I know I can pick up themes from freelancers who specialize in these things. But a layman like me finds them useless. I can’t even proceed with a new template for fear of losing all my data which let me tell you nearly happened once incase you are viewing my complaints with jaundiced eyes.

Definitely you would have noticed that other blogspaces have offered a facility wherein the author of the post can directly reply to a comment within the individual’s comment space itself. I’m sure you’ve seen for yourself that this option is an instant hit in the blog world!!!!!!
Come on tell me now, how difficult is it to incorporate the same into your system???

Instead of wasting time trying to make the Username space turn yellow when we login, you could try to introduce some useful stuff like, emoticons for example.
A simple smiley makes a whole lot of difference to a post. If you have any doubts, ask Indyeah she’ll elucidate this point across to you with appropriate examples & emoticons in atleast 2 pages.
I mean, we are not asking for the moon, are we?????

Bloggers like me with basic or no knowledge of HTML have a difficult time expressing our feelings……..have you realized how a simple strikethrough like this automatically lifts a post to a whole new level & makes it so much fun to read. I’ve been blogging now for more than 1½ yrs & found out just 3 days back how to do this thru HTML courtesy a fellow blogger Rakesh. And today Snow shows me how put a link in the comments section. Before this week I didn’t even know all this could be done in blogger.
We do know Blogger is full of possibilities but please make it a lot more user-friendly for us!!!!!

I’ve always been a creature of habit & a lazy one at that. You know, I simply detest making drastic changes in my life & will go to any lengths to avoid it. Believe me, I don’t even want to be thinking about the hassles of moving out of Blogger.

No, no its not some intimidation technique…….but do try understand that if you guys don’t get on with making functional & effective changes, you are the ultimate losers.

I have mentioned just a few of my grievances here. If you will please open your eyes wide & read between the lines you’ll find a million other bloggers with similar & more complaints.

I hope you take my post as constructive criticism & go back to the drawing board to make the necessary modifications.

In anticipation,
Yours truly,

Nancy

Why do I Blog??????

The topic “Why do I Blog” keeps raising its ragged head again & again. Everytime I read a blogger’s take on this topic I keep thinking about putting up a post on it but it never happened….mainly because I didn’t have enough reasons to put forward in front of you without sounding like…….. like dumb for starters.

Like always let me start at the beginning; sometime in 2005 I registered in rediff specifically to blog….. I must have put up a total of 5 or 6 posts in a span of 6 months, so sporadic & half hearted was the effort that one fine day I realized that I had forgotten the password….yeah just like that. So that was that.

Cut to 2 years later….. the Interior Decoration Company I was working for, had hardly any work at 1 particular point in time & to top it we finally got the broadband connection which was awaited with great excitement. First, games for kids were duly downloaded & loaded at home, then new recipes were tried & tested in the kitchen….then what….oh yes I managed to pick up Excel from the Microsoft site[very easy with complete tips & tricks if anybody is interested]……if I were smarter I would have proceeded on that same track, you know, updating myself with more softwares & information…..but that’s simply not me....I have never haboured any hopes or plans to improve, not then and definitely not now.

Maintaining an online diary appealed to me……..you know, in school & college I used to have a diary where I recorded my thoughts & intentions on a weekly basis….which gradually became monthly & then after my marriage it declined some more & became on a yearly basis…..now nonexistent ofcourse.

I blogged in MSN Windows live for a few months and then for some reason the link to my blog stopped working. I could login but nobody else could view my page. Then a friend suggested blogger which was supposedly more popular with more options & more windows friendly to geeks like me. Painstakingly using the copy & paste option I moved all my posts to blogger. Blogger in the beginning wasn’t at all user friendly & didn’t have so many options which I took for granted in Msn but even inbetween all that the cussing I was halfheartedly updating. I gave my link to friends & family. Nobody bothered to comment except for Bins…..and even she did it mostly out of fear coz she knew I could track her visits thru feedjit.

Then ofcourse I stumbled upon Ps site like any other blogger. After much delibration I tentatively commented on one of her posts. And she so sweetly returned the favour.

Which is when the fact that all my people came in to read what I wrote but didn’t bother to comment finally got my goat. I got mad & locked everybody out except Bins. Then after a few weeks I commented once again at Ps’s blog asking her permission to blogroll her. And Ps wrote back asking me why I blocked my page.

Imagine my excitement………somebody actually wanted to read what I wrote. I double rushed to throw open the gates to my blog once again. Around the same time another blogger
Preethi who came to my blog all on her own & generously commented on most of my posts. And I also returned the favour enthusiastically….though I must say unlike Ps’s posts where I had to break my brains to comment intelligently Preethi posts were easy to comment on.

Out of curiosity I checked for bloggers in Dubai…u know just to see if there were other people trying to kill time like me. After browsing some 400 profiles I come across ISH . I was not planning on commenting but the last sentence in her post just made me want to & I did. Then she commented on mine. The rest as they say is History. After that come rain or shine we have faithfully commented on eachothers post….nothing complicated here but pure loyalty I assure you. Even today she may not update for 2-3 weeks but if I don’t update atleast once a week she will come over & command “Update Woman!!!!”. What audacity I tell you!!!!

Likewise I have no hesitation commenting something, anything in Bins, Renu, Shalom, Winnie, Wannabe.... and Lan's blog even if they didn’t on mine coz our association goes way back. Thankfully with the exception of Winnie, all the rest write about matters I can associate with, so that makes things easier.
Winnie, I like her stories…….now if only she made the effort to complete them. Shhhhhh please don’t tell her I said this….I can’t afford to antagonize her as most of my awards come from her backyard.

And while I’m at it how can I avoid mentioning Agnes, Anjuli, Goofy Mumma, Maddy, Piper .., SMRITI, Sunshine, because irrespective of whether I commented on their page or not they never fail to leave a comment on all my posts.

Nowadays I find myself hard pressed for time but even then when I come across posts which makes me laugh or touches me I make an effort to comment coz I haven’t forgotten my initial struggle in the blogging world[duhhh why do I get the feeling I'm making a “I’m a person who studied hard under the streetlamp & became a doctor” kinda speech].

Very recently I came across a blog which writes exactly the way I think but never been able to put it on paper with the ease she does. Infact her post on this same topic is what actually got me to write this post finally. And here is another blog …..the sense of humour I instantly connected with. And no....I didnt put her down here because she wrote about me last week. I was the one who commented first on her blog 2-3 weeks back. So there!!!!
ummm......coming back to what I was saying......similarly there are so many others out there who match your mindset & are just waiting to be read. How exciting really!!!!!

At the risk of being labeled a fake I have to tell u that I don’t write or in this case blog for myself. I don’t consider myself a blogger per se, more like a story teller. So just imagine a story teller without an audience…likewise me. I’m sure I’d have stopped blogging loooong back without your encouraging comments.

Yes like Lan mentioned once when we get a certain number of people following what we have to say, there is a bit of expectation associated with it. But since I don’t write about Global Warming or How to eradicate Poverty in the 3rd world countries, I get away with the gross misappropriation of facts & figures.
Again the important thing here is that it is precisely because of that expectation that I make an honest attempt to deliver.

And ofcourse not the least, I cant totally deny the fact that I like penning down my thoughts & random incidents in my life which tickle my funnybone, posting it hoping you find it as funny or moving as I do. And while I'm at it, let me without an iota of shame assure you that I absolutely love receiving comments & will happily proceed to further discuss the matter with you in the comments section.

Now if only I had encouragement like this to lose some weight :-(

More Input on How to Blog

Since the post “How to Blog” elicited a lot of positive responses & mentioned several good points which I missed, I’ve decided to put up the comments verbatim as a post. I feel the points mentioned here are very good & will aid anybody who is into blogging, budding or otherwise.

Before you start reading the comments, a small note: My kind commentators view me with rose tinted glasses & so along with their input, they have also penned some nice things about me. I dont for 1 moment blame u if u dont want to wade thru all the material since u may not view it with the same pleasure I do. So to make things easier for you, I have highlighted the key details in BOLD so that u get to the point without further ado.

So here goes...

sindhu said... Oh, you hit on it, right when wrote a sad sad post...and you have it right, Nancy..Though at some time, it is also about letting go for some bloggers and then this is the right medium...But I agree, this is a medium to connect, ..and you do it brilliantly!
05 February 2009 12:40

Sunshine said... aww see Nancy thats y you have 10-20 comments on each post of urs! coz ur brilliant! :Dthat was a good post...and actually its something I realized as well... only once I started interacting and connecting with people on their blogs did people start commenting on mine...! :) plus i think your real friends unless they r actively blogging themselves, r the laziest to comment on ur blog!!
05 February 2009 13:14

Rakesh said... Wow! Tips on Making your blog popular!!! Well I'll tell you this. I've been blogging since what, a year or even more. But if you see my archives, there were never any comments. My counter showed hits coz. i used to forward the link to all family and friends initially but no comments. And then, I started visiting other blogs and dropping comments on those I enjoyed, and suddenly everyone is dropping by my blog and enjoying what I say. Not that overnight I became more intelligent or more funny? But because, I increased visibility :) Thats the key word. No matter how good or bad you write, you won't get any readers if you don't go to their blogs and drop comments, thereby increasing visibility (and a sense of reciprocating comments). Seriously try this, for the next 6 months, don't drop a single comment on any other blog. You might keep your existing readers or maybe loose a few but you'll never add a single new reader.
05 February 2009 14:33

Goofy Mumma said... I am hurt, I am seriously hurt, because you have called one of my favouritest blogs , no great shakes. Don't ever do that again. I think it is way too humble for you to go ahead and say something like that for your blog. You write so well N, I can never read a post of yours without a smile on my face. Your posts speak directly to me and I love them, that is the reason I am committed to commenting. Trust me!! And seriously, there are enough problems and issues in life, we all need a laugh, and that is what you provide. You have a talent with humour lady.
05 February 2009 16:12

agnes said... Good stuff Nancy! I so agree with the clutter-free light background & simple font. I can't read anything that's against a glittery animated background... it's like being in Las Vegas... and no music please :-)) Being a traveler at heart it's a little bit like traveling to me... ... when I am home I really miss the rest of the world, especially SE Asia and Europe... and I prefer real people to TV :-)
05 February 2009 16:40

The Idle Devil said... Your posts are versatile and each one is a treasure! Esp when you do write moving stories (about your daughters, your neighbour), they do make me automatically go "awww" or cause a lump in my throat. Your list of items can help budding and experienced bloggers both... changing my template has made a world of difference to both my thoughts and those who read them.
05 February 2009 17:13

My life is my lesson! said... Hi NancyThis should be helping many of us, and the reason you have so many comments is that whatever you write you put it in an interesting manner, appreciation guaranteed!:)
05 February 2009 17:45

sukku said... Thanks for sharing your thoughts on blogging ...you are such a sweet person...
05 February 2009 18:17

naperville mom said... Were you talking about me, Nancy?:)Thank you for the tips... and the brilliant post! I wonder whether there's any better way than "I scratch your back and you scratch mine" kind of a deal...
05 February 2009 18:35

Winnie the poohi said... I am so late to reply.. i so had read it before.. did u by chance get 2 comments?If not here goes nothing..I love your blog not for its content.. but for how you put it forth.. I am guilty on so many counts.. most of my posts are full of rants!! Ah but you are my guardian angel!Remember the day I wrote about turning off comments?And since then mine has become popular step by step!I now have 14 followers.. can you believe that ?:D :D
05 February 2009 23:31

Anjuli said... excellent advice. And I beg to differ- you do write GREAT stuff- not inane in the least. When I come and read something of yours- I always get something wonderful and thoughtful to take with me.
06 February 2009 03:18

Bins said... As I understand it, it is a simple " U scratch my back and I'll scratch yours" scenario. When u begin to blog, we have take active interest and visit other blogs to get them to visit your page. Frankly, though I do feel sad there is just a comment or two, I am just not able to find the time to read even 5 blogs. I know that this is the only way to generate interest but..... sigh!Anyway, good points! Also, I feel that your blogs are really light-hearted. It is the same concept that I apply to watching movies. If when u are depressed, u watch a movie like Sadma, u are bound to come out of it even more depressed. So in that way, ur blogs are in a lighter vein and really ease the readers mind. Kudos to u!!
06 February 2009 07:50

Piper .. said... hey Nancy, thanks much for the input. I guess I seriously need it. I remember you once commenting on an old,old post of mine. You said you were surprised it didnt have any comments :) Boy! was I touched! Since then, I always make it a point to comment on the posts I really like. Unless ofcourse,there`s absolutely nothing I can think of! And I have ended up making quite a few good friends in the process! I seriously have you to thank! Hugs
06 February 2009 08:03

Renu said... very good post nancy and u always connect with everybody..i dont know how u dO it:)but after one yr of blogging, my take is ..write what you want because..comment..traffic and all that is a vicious circle..once u are trapped in it, you lose your individuality, and start writing according to the reader's perspective. Now i read many blogs ,but comment only when I have really something to say, otherwise i was loosing the meaning of..awesome:) Blog is an expression of my personality and it will remain so, I would anytime prefer genuine comments to the ones given for reciprocation or increasing the traffic:)
06 February 2009 08:33

WannabeWriter said... Agree with you on all points...and I am one of those who is weak on the connecting front. Partially, it is because I don't get time to read many blogs...and some times while blog hopping when I find an interesting one, I forget to save the link...:( But all said and done, I still think you have to write well and be regular to be popular!!!
06 February 2009 12:01

DeeplyDip said... Hey Nancy you have been pretty irregular at blogging now-a-days, so when I read the title of this post, i thought to myself "here is the explanation she hasn't been writing too often!"...so there you go - a good catchy heading is another important factor in getting you hits to your blog... :)I agree with all the tips you've made in this post.And hey frequency of updates also brings in a lot of traffic...if the site/blog is updated on a regular basis, it will attract more readers...
06 February 2009 12:16

Deeps said... N, How can u say your posts are no great shakes??They always manage to shake me and with the outpourings of comments that I can see now and have been seeing in the past,its clear that you have an amazing quality of connecting with people. Earlier when I started blogging I never used to get much comments except from my friends and as much as I used to feel happy with their comments I used to feel dejected that my posts were not getting a wider reach. And then I started visiting other blogs and leaving comments just to make my presence felt.And boy!I was glad!more and more people started visiting me and sharing their inputs too. Not that I have ardent followers yet but its definitely better than before.Thank you so very much for that post,Nancy!
06 February 2009 15:46

Indyeah said... I loved this post of yours, the very first one I read....:)came via Winnie's link...and you said it all so well...perceptive and touching..you are on my blogroll now:)
06 February 2009 20:14

STALAG SUKHOI said... what an idea madamji :) ..good post
07 February 2009 07:43

lan said... i will not deny that i absolutely love getting a comment yet i also agree with renu's observations above. i've seen many a good blog flounder under pressure to perform up to the reader's expectations. good news is, being strong writers and interested in blogging, most of them do bounce back. blog is a gentle and free media and i love its universal and global nature. leaving a comment is not that easy for me. you are of course an exception:-) it is the easiest to leave a comment if i can identify with a post, otherwise i skip after giving it some thought and not finding anything to say even if i appreciate being able to read it. as always, a good post.
07 February 2009 08:51

I scribble here said... oh nancy! u dont have to be all that humble.. u write kickass and hence so many comments... I dont need to tell you this but have always looked forward to your postsbut u are right.. even i browse through some really well written blogs without any comments.Those pointers surely make a lot of sense. i have made my notes..and hey! i just updated my blog.. pls to read and comment :D
07 February 2009 09:20

Solilo said... I think this is my post here and yes humor works every time :)):)) just like here. Now to the topic, I am a new blogger who started 2 months back. When I started it was meant to be just for me to scribble somethings whenever I wanted. Slowly when I started blog hopping I found comment interaction to be fun. I don't count of I get 5 or 10 or 20 comments but the comments from my favorite bloggers bring a smile. It is like you never get bored in among your friends.

The blogger formerly known as Sansmerci said... wow kewl job... i don religiously follow the first few points but the last one yes! and i guess thts the secret i get comments.. i ve noticed my comments reducing wen i don have time to chek other blogs :) so mostly people have been returning favors eh! :)D yo .. m here cos i jus wrote a post after weeks and people ve almost forgoten me... i kno i kno.. wat ur thinkin!
08 February 2009 11:34

Datsme said... Wow! Words from the wise :)I know of some ppl who maintain blogs for professional purposes..Maybe I shud share this link with them :) "I scratch your back, you scratch mine" Someone wise said dis once about the blog world and i found it quite true.
08 February 2009 12:25

Enigma said... hey nancy, ur blog is good okk...i enjoy reading it and that is y i keep visiting it...beleive me, i dont go back to blogs i dont njoy reading.... so enough of the humblesness :P and abt u telling abt the font and background etc is true...wen its bright pink and all its so tough to read, but u know what wat one of ur comments said was true, if u dont leave comments on other blogs and make urself visible, its true that our dont get seen too ...sad fact na
08 February 2009 14:41

agnes said... One more thing. It also helps to post a picture of yourself so your readers get an idea of the "face behind the blog" ... :-))))OK I am just kidding. Actually, I think it's quite important to maintain a level of privacy (don't post your social security number etc) yet allow your personality to come through so your readers feel they "know" you. To me another factor is that while it's OK to abbreviate words some writers take it to a whole new level (a level where I can no longer recognize the words).

Indian Home Maker said... You are right, we do blog to connect, and loved your pointers ... I try to keep my blog clutter free, but invariably there is so much to read, there are so many blogs to read, one has to choose between replying or reading or writing new posts, and just when I think, no post today , some Ram Sena, or Vanar Sena does something ... Blogosphere is immensely distracting!
09 February 2009 19:52

and finally once again

Deeps said... Nancy..just a thought. Why dont you mention those lesser-known blogs in your blogrolls or maybe you can mention them in this post itself?? That way we too will get to know about those gifted bloggers and inspire ourselves. What say?? I hope you didnt mind my saying this, do you??
08 February 2009 10:30

Deeps comment appealed to me.......and I'm thinking of starting a "Blog of the Month" section which will feature a post of any blogger who inspires, makes me laugh or generally gives me information with his/her posts. What do U think???????

Going back to the topic "How to Blog", if anybody feels u have some more information we'd benefit from, please feel free to let me know, I'll be happy to add it to the list above.

How to Blog???????

Sometimes when I go blog surfing I get to read such lovely posts. Posts which touch the heart, question the mind, warms the insides....... in short brilliant. But when I check their comment section, there will be just 1 or 2 comments.

I am surprised. Upset even. I mean....just 2 comments for this beautiful, beautiful post????? What a crying shame!!!!!!
The blogger is so versatile that he/she should be writing books. Well ok atleast he is blogging, we can read his wonderful, imaginative thoughts in his posts and that too…….for free.

And this got me wondering how some blogs become more popular than others.......hehe….U knw I'm suddenly reminded of those Shanti Sagar & Darshini joints in B'lore........ they open those restaurants in any corner of the city & by the end of the week the whole town will knw abt its location and will be having their breakfast & lunch there like as if they have always been. The food is not the greatest but its filling & the price is reasonable. No advertising, no fancy decor, nothing but we don’t think twice about trooping in there.

Infact, I'm reminded of my very own blog in this instance........I’ll be the first one to admit that it is no great shakes.
Ah now you don’t have to be all gracious & polite. You & I will agree that I write inane stuff most of the time………. about stooopid rats popping out of the drain ….. cutting nails on Tuesdays …….putting salt in my moms mouth and……and
bungee jumping onto a mattress for Heaven's sake……and other dumb stuff. But guess what????? Even for pathetic stuff like this I get atleast 10-20 comments.

And on the other side, is a post which strikes a chord in my heart, brings a smile to my face, and makes me question myself but it is lost in the crowd somewhere.

Everyone of us like attention especially if it’s positive. We like to feel important. We like others to listen to us. Many of us blog to seek that attention, which we probably may not be getting from our immediate surroundings. So many others have interesting anecdotes to share. And some just want to be involved……to connect. Get my point????? Finally when it come right down to it, Blogging is all about Connecting, isn’t it???? We are all trying to reach out……. with our stories, experiences, knowledge……

Though I’m not the best person you should be taking tips from but I just feel I could help. So here are a few simple pointers to budding bloggers who genuinely want to connect:

# For starters, a light background & a clear font helps…….a lot. Often a fancy font or a bright pink background just distracts & you are judged by your reader even before they actually start reading the content. And believe it or not, punctuations like fullstops & commas also make a difference.

# There should be clarity in what you are trying to express. Our mind churns out lot of complicated stuff but that doesnt mean we pour it out just like that. What makes complete sense to you may not make any sense to your reader. And try not to use a lot of imposing phrases & intimidate your readers. They’ll think you are fundoo stuff & what’s worse they'll think it doesn't matter to you whether they comment or not.
Seriously, you don’t need big, fancy words & grand sentences to put your point across. Your words need to touch the reader, make them feel for you or your cause, involve them even.

# Don’t pour out sad stories especially about I, Me, Myself & expect people to jump in & comment. Your friends may respond but it won’t win you many new readers except for an odd comment or two from agony aunts.

# Humour works everytime. Infact pour that same sad story out humorously & you’ll find many of us giving you innovative ideas on how you can drown your sorrows.

# Controversial topics also work……..to some extent. But not consistently. And you may be in danger of attracting the wrong type of crowd.

# But most importantly Connect……..go out & let people know You Exist. Works everytime. Just like how you want people to notice you, there are others out there waiting to be noticed & eager to reach out. Out of the 10 people on whose blogs you commented atleast 7 will respond. The ones who don’t respond could be Amitabh Bachchan[actually nowadays I’ve hrd even he responds], an established blogger who’s got more traffic coming in than he can handle or another blogger with a mindframe just like yours.

As of now I can think of only this much to get you started off. If you have a doubt don’t hesitate to ask……….I may not have the answer but you can bet on it I’ll find it out for you…….u see I have a lot of friends out here who’ll help me out.

And to my fellow bloggers I know I don’t have to say anything. If I have missed out on any vital points, I’m sure you’ll let me know.

To Blog or Not to Blog

It was 6.45am. I slid out of bed without making a noise, scrabbled on the table for my glasses, wore them & headed towards the door. At the door I turned once to look at my better-half who was fast asleep, grinned guiltily to myself & headed towards the laptop to switch it on.

As I double-click on the dial-up icon I can hear the bed creaking as my better-half gets up.

“Shoot” I mumble, shutting the laptop with a gentle click, rush to the curtains & pulled them apart to let the morning sunshine in.

I look back, to see him watch me quizzically & I strive to smile carelessly. He then trains his sight onto the laptop & a tiny green light blinks to tell him the truth, which I was frantically trying to hide.

Letting out a deep sigh & without saying a word he opens the front door to pick up the morning newspaper. And I exit the room on the pretext of making coffee, all the while feeling like a kid with her fingers caught in the cookie-jar.

The better-half is usually a rational man thru & thru. A man of very few words, a great husband, wonderful father, he is gentle, caring, considerate, stickler for rules, infact for the first 3-4 years of married life I kept wondering if he was for real. Now I’ve gotten used to his ways but my friends remain amazed to this day.

No, no, no I’m not just saying for the sake of it……..I don’t call him my better-half for nothing. He is better than me in all respects & frankly he’s the best the Almighty could have given me.

I hunt for a shortcoming to pin on him. Ummmm…..…hmmm.. well ok he is a bit of a Chauvinist…….Me Man, Me feed my Family, Me protect them from all danger types…. which gets a bit too heavy handed sometimes…..but it is a fault I can magnanimously overlook since it is better than “I Me Myself” and Oh yes how could I overlook this weakness of his………he watches a lot of TV.

He knows I have a blog & must have visited it a grand total of 3 times, each time at my insistence. As long as I was blogging from the office he had no problems. Though he never once verbally put my blog down, he treats it like something I do because I had a lot of time on my hands. Well he is right about the last part but I still don’t like the insinuation

When I was working, I hardly went online from home coz I was online fulltime at the office. But now at home he doesn’t approve of the time I sit tapping away on the laptop….he wants me to use the time more constructively like………like sit & watch TV with him & the kids.

Its been like this from the time I stopped working. He thinks I can do better things with the time I sit down & blog. To avoid needless arguments I prefer to do all my blogging & commenting when he is away at work. But somehow he still manages to catch me at it & makes me feel guilty.
A man who never surfaced before 8.30am during weekends was getting up at 7am to……to…...well he has to be doing this deliberately.

No, no, don’t mistake me, he doesn’t create any unsettling situations….just says innocuous stuff like “phone line was engaged for a long time”, or heaves a few deeeep sighhhs which sends across the message more effectively than any long winded lecture.

Then 1 day I burst out in indignation…..whole 2 minutes of righteous indignation….which started with…..

“Why does everything I do……”

And ended with….

“I’m so miserable!!!!!!!!!!”

Carefully looking away, I rushed out of the room, sat alone & shed a few tears of self-pity.

My case & arguments didn’t sound very strong…….somewhere inside me I wondered & still wonder if he is right. Maybe I shouldn’t expend so much time on my blog. That much time could be utilized in teaching Nikita her Hindi or I could arrange the cupboards or do some other constructive work.

He came after a few minutes & took me back to the living room…..to watch TV. No words were spoken…well his nature is such that if he had said anything I would have fallen off my chair.

As of now I don’t say the situation has dramatically changed but its much better…..his face doesn’t reveal much & I know for sure his feelings are still the same but I’m guessing that some of what I said must have had some effect & he does realise that I do need something to do ‘For Myself’.

The reason I wrote the whole situation out is to find out if any one of you out there is facing the same problem or situation from your parents or partners.

If YES, how do you deal with it??????? I sure could use some tips!!!!!!!!!!

And if NO, you've simply got to tell me your secret!!!!!!!!!!!!