Tried and Tested on Kids

A friend of mine got married in his late thirties and they had a baby recently. He is a big guy in the creative field, very confident but fatherhood has completely freaked him out. He takes a very healthy interest in his baby and even the minutest details are given a lot of attention. 

Once in a while we meet online, after the barest pleasantries he is onto his favourite subject…his baby. I try to calm him down with all the stuff I remember about when my kids were little. One day he thanked me profusely for all the help and asked me why despite being a mother there wasn’t a single post on bringing up children on the blog.

I laughed & dismissed the idea of a post outright but after grandly announcing my return to blogging a week back and then looking around blankly for a while[for inspiration;-P] I didn’t have much choice.

Anyways here is some gyaan for what it’s worth….

#Babies generally cry for 3 reasons; hunger, lack of sleep or a wet nappy. Only after you’ve ticked off these 3 things, should you proceed forward to exploring your other[often unfounded] fears.

Another reason could be gas. That’s why burps are like sweet music to the parents’ ears. Timely burps also saves you from needing to change your outfit after every feed which your baby dutifully throws up on you.
How to do it: Hold baby upright and pat the back gently for a while. You know what they say about watched kettles right……don’t expect the burb right away; give it 20 mins, if you are lucky it will happen in 10. The little ones who burp immediately & to the point[minus the mess I mean] have very, very lucky parents.

#Using cotton nappys is a very noble thought but if you want a good night’s sleep use a good[brand] diaper only for the nights. Just wash the itty-bitty bummy with water & mild soap everytime you change the diaper & apply a bit of Vaseline. A good night’s sleep for everybody involved assured.

#Don’t knock Pacifiers without trying them. If you have a baby with Mariah Carey’s musical pitch[the kind that can shatter glass] or the depth of an ambulance siren[goes on and on] pacifiers are life-savers. This tip is from a good friend.

#Please don’t invest in baby walkers. They ruin the shape of your little one’s legs. Many of the bow-legged children you see around you are victims of these contraptions.

#Resist the temptation of taking pictures of your little ones without their clothes. Spare a thought for the poor kid who will cringe in embarrassment later on. And maybe even hold it against you for the rest of his life.
I’m not even going into the bit about when these pics get into the wrong hands.

#Sleep is very important. A schedule even more so. A child who sleeps & wakes up on schedule is a happy kid [most of the time].

#Tantrums can be avoided 85% of the time if the parents are alert. Take the child away immediately from the cause of discontent and distract him with something else. DO NOT allow the child to wallow in his misery thinking you are teaching him a lesson. All it serves is to make him more stubborn.

#Be extra careful when you use words like ‘No’, ‘I don’t know’ and ‘Go get it yourself’. Before you know it they’ll be repeating it back to you….and in the same tone;-/.

On the same topic…..we all know how fast they pick up phrases like ‘Shut up’ ‘get out’ and ‘I hate him’ or ‘he's lying’. Instead of yelling at them uselessly, teach them to substitute the same with ‘Keep quiet’ ‘please leave’ and ‘I don’t like him’ or  'he's not telling the truth'. You may have to repeat this a few times but once they get the hang of it our ears are spared.

And the last life-saving tip….

#Never, I say never teach your toddler the correct word for a ‘private part’ of the body. Use a nickname, codeword or refer to it as another bodypart. This tip will save you from embarrassment more times than you’ll be able to count.

There’s more but I’ll get off while the going is good. I get the feeling some of you are already looking at me very disapprovingly.

Once again, I don’t claim to be any expert; these are some things which worked for me and I’m sharing them with you. Feel free to discuss, argue and add your gyaan on how it worked for youJ.