Please excuse me while I clear my throat

Ever noticed this peculiar habit of mine…everytime I’m sick I take great pleasure in describing my symtoms to you whether you want to hear it or not. As usual it’s my throat the infection attacks; no cold, fever or blocked nose just a throat pain and this irritating need to clear the throat all the time. And ofcourse with the throat rubbed raw the voice sounds like….like…a baritone minus the timbre. Called a restaurant to order some lunch & the waiter eagerly replied "ok sir, I’ll send the order right away". I hadn’t the energy to correct him……clearing the throat every 10 seconds is tiring business you know.

While the better-half was channel-surfing 2 days back I happened to glimpse Usha Uthup & gestured frantically[my throat’s bad remember] at him to stop there. When he looked enquiringly I rasped how I was just thinking about Usha Uthup that afternoon and voila she popped up on tv at night. What an amazing coincidence!!!

“And why were you thinking about Usha Uthup???” asks better-half curiously.
“Oh just this afternoon I was singing this song and thought I sounded like Usha Uthup." I croak airily.
 He didn’t say anything and I took it as an invitation to perform.

I clear my throat and croon “Dum maro dummmmmmmaaaaaa…….” and look at him triumphantly.

The better-half looked like he wanted to say something but he knew me too well and the mood I was in…….and quietly changed the channel. I ferociously chomp on some crystallised ginger to ease my urge to chew his head off.

[Cut]

A few days back my mom’s friend calls from Bangalore and tells me she was going on a trip to Holleyland and wanted to visit us on her way back from there.

I was like “Eh, I’ve heard of Disneyland and Al Naser Leisureland….….but what is this place you are talking about………..oooohhhh you mean Hollywood”

She was like “No, no Hollyland”

And then it clicked, she was talking about going on a trip to HolyLand…....about visiting Jerusalem, Israel and other places where Jesus lived and preached.

The better-half who understood immediately was laughing at my bewilderment. Ignoring the ruckus behind me I got into my best host-mode and croaked “You are welcome to visit us anytime Aunty, we’ll take care of everything. You just tell us the date and flight timings”

“Oh I know you don’t have any problems about me visiting you, just thought I’ll warn you I’m bringing 4 friends along with me” replied Aunty blithely.

A fit of coughing attacked me and I limply gave the phone to the better-half who also didn’t find it quite funny anymore. Entertaining 5 old ladies for a week was no joke, was it;-D

[Cut]

Surfing thru the channels uninterestedly I chance upon a pretty looking starlet mouthing a long dialogue. I paused to listen and was thinking to myself that if she was the heroine then how is that I haven’t seen her around before. The actor facing her trying to look suitably puzzled asks “I don’t understand what you are trying to say, Nancy” and I knew immediately that she could be essaying any role but the main role.
No character named Nancy in a movie ever had a leading role. If it is a Malayalam movie all Nancys' were the hero’s sister or friend who either had a dreaded disease or got raped in the middle of the movie. If it is a Hindi movie she probably was the vamp who performed 1 cabaret song and died[from a gunshot] immediately afterwards and if its an English movie she usually is the housekeeper or a lawyer.

"Why couldn’t my parents have named me with more thought? Why couldn’t they have named me Meghana or Nidhi or Niveditha….I soo like those names." muttering to myself I make a mental note to tackle my mother about it when I next speak with her.

I'll get off here and let you watch Usha Uthup singing "Dum Maro Dum Aaaaa"…….I quite enjoyed watching her after a looong time;-D


p.s: Ummm....I may have exaggerrated a bit here and there but don’t waste precious time wondering what the post was all about. Most people rest when they dont feel well but I get all charged up and attack. I was not at all in the mood to blog today but somehow if I don’t put up atleast 1 post a week…I feel guilty. You see, I love to pretend that all of you miss me. Now if anybody wants to disagree with me, feel free…..I’m just spoiling for a fight.