Thank U Preeti for asking me:-)!!!!

Preeti Shenoy was putting up her 400th post and wanted to make it special. So she chose this novel way of inviting a ‘select’ few [ahem;-D] to answer a set of thought-provoking questions though in the beginning I thought they were more mind-numbing than provoking; oh you know me, I run at the 1st sight of emotion and here she was asking difficult questions about  Love, Death & such-like.

I so wanted to chicken out at first but was torn between 'feeling important' and thinking ‘have no clue what to write’.
I deliberated with lofty thoughts for a while and the page remained blank as ever, then finally slid down to the bottom and wrote like how I usually do. So yeah I sent in my answers and chewed my nails to nothing to release the tension.

And it’s up today. I’m so glad I made the effort, do go take a look here[1st part] and here[2nd part].

Thank You Preeti for asking me, it made me feel really good!!!!

Ps: Since it's not exactly a proper post as such, I have disabled comments

A tough act to Follow

Below is a comment I posted today at Agnes blog. I thought I'll tell all of u about it as so many of u have kindly "Followed" me and I havent returned the compliment.
[ I have taken the liberty to edit it a bit here & there but the jist of the matter remains the same]

"Agnes I came here to confess.....I so wanted to follow ur blog but experience[and  a teeny-weeny bit of superstition] has taught me that the minute I blogroll or follow somebody they stop posting on their blog. U dont believe me....take my blogroll itself, initially there were atleast 12-14 blog links there, as soon as I blogrolled them 4 bloggers stopped writing.......yes, just like that;-o.

Within 2-3 months 3 more stopped. And now if u notice, except for Preeti Shenoy all the rest of them I personally have to go blog to blog bugging them to update;-(.
Almost the same thing happens when I watch cricket. As soon as I sit down comfortably, players start getting out for the silliest of reasons. When I stand up they are hitting 1's & 2's. As soon as I leave the room they are belting fours & sixes. So now I stand behind the curtain & peek;-(.

I love reading what you write Agnes and dont want to lose you for selfish reasons. I hope u do understand my dilemma and won't hold it against me."


ps: On the other hand, somebody has stopped following me around 4 days back. I spent atleast 2 hours trying to figure out who the blogger was but my memory is unreliable at the best of times. Be warned all of u who are hatching plans to stop following me, now I have all ur names down in alphatbetical order on my laptop & if I find anybody missing I'll......I'll......

A taste of things to come

Life seems to be just flying past!!! It’s already the 2nd month of the New Year. Where did the 1st month go???? All I know is that weekends keep popping up pretty regularly.....just finish one, pack everybody off to school and work, take a breather and the next one is already around the corner.

At the beginning of every year the 'Friday' Magazine[the weekly magazine of our newspaper] puts up this horoscope thingie for the whole year. I generally don’t give it much attention but ummm…..do give it a cursory glance. But this year the forecast was sooo good that I did a double-take, read it twice and then once again loudly to the better-half who responded by waggling his eyebrows like a Kathakali dancer;-/.

Oh let me go get that magazine for u…… I have kept it safely. I have never come across such a rosy and perfect forecast in my entire life…..ofcourse I kept it safely. Now if you'll just indulge me, I’ll borrow just one sentence from there & prove to you how powerful those words were “This year as they say in modern lingo, is going to rock”

According to them the 1st month of the year is ‘…extremely rewarding, you are going to be cheerful and contented…….will take a much-needed break & pamper yourself. A good period occurs between 2nd and 3rd week. Family life is harmonious’

Well, looks like they know what they are talking about. The better-half and I had a harmonious tiff at the end of the 3rd week and...

....on the 1st day we walked around with our respective noses[is there word like that???] in the air and talking extra politely while studiously avoiding eye-contact. By the end of the day I had doubts…..after all I did fly off the handle a bit and my birthday was around the corner, so I smiled sweetly when he came back home from office. He raised both eye-brows in doubt. I got mad and stalked off.

....On the 2nd day he looked like he wanted to make up but I was blazingly cheerful and content in the company of the kids that he hovered around for a while and then gave up.

...By the 3rd day I was climbing the walls and needed to get out of the house. I took off to the supermarket and did some shopping…….yeah well I was out of groceries anyway. It was a much needed break in the manner of speaking and I came back home all upbeat. When he came back home that evening we smiled tentatively at eachother and his favourite dishes were waiting for him for dinner.

....The 4th day was my birthday. Early morning even before I opened my eyes I could hear whispered conversation happening in the corner of the bedroom. Before I could get my bearings 2 bundles of energy leapt onto the bed and attacked me….ooops I meant hugged me tightly. A third pair of arms went around the 3 of us and in unison they sang the entire “Happy Birthday” song loud and off-key straight into my ears. I got 2 hand-made birthday cards from the children[which was taken from me every ½ an hour to make some changes], a pretty-looking eraser which was borrowed now & again to rub unimportant details off the greeting card and a lovely jewellery set from the better-half. Extremely rewarding that way, I tell you;-D

If this was January, I shudder to think what the February forecast means “Another month which will find you cheerful & contented *Nancy is cowering in the corner* Your family members may seek your wisdom and expertise in defusing a potentially troubling situation *And she kneels and looks heavenward for mercy*”

All of U will keep me in your prayers, won't you!!!!!

Happy Republic Day Everybody:-)!!!!!!

The day is also special for the Australians, Wishing everybody in Australia a Happy National Day!!!!!!

The baddest words of them all

Nikita: Mama what is the meaning of f***????

Mama[shocked]: Where did you hear this???

Nikita[8yrs]: I've seen it written on the walls.

Naina[6yrs]: And the big boys in the bus are using it all the time??? Is it a bad word???

I take a deep breath. I was expecting this question but not so soon. How am I supposed to explain a word like that to my children?

“Yes it is a bad word. Dont ever use it when u speak” I explain.

“Then why are those boys using it??? Are they BAAD boys????” asks Naina eye-eyed.

“No they are not bad boys, they are saying it unknowingly. Maybe their parents did not tell them not to use it like I have told u. Well-brought up children NEVER use that word in their conversations” I stressed.

They were impressed with the gravity of my tone and nodded vigorously to everything I said. I wasn't sure whether it was the right thing to say but that was all I could come up with at the spur of the moment.

Almost a week later….

“Mama today was a terrible day !!!! Momataasim said the BADDEST thing to me in class today” said Naina tearfully to me when she came back from school.

Momataasim* was Naina’s classmate who according to her was the baddest boy in the whole world & the bane of Naina’s existence. I looked at her concerned, hoping he didn’t use a bad word whose meaning I didn’t even want to think about let alone explain “You should just ignore these things. What did he say???”

Naina hesitated for a few minutes & after a bit of cajoling mumbled “He said 'I love You' to me!!!!”

People, u should have seen my face….I don’t know what I was expecting the BAAD word to be but it was not certainly this. My child was looking at me very miserably as if she was part of something very shameful.

I couldn’t help it, I burst out laughing. And Naina looked at me surprised.

I then controlled myself and explained gently “Naina its ok. He likes you and wants to be friends with you & so he told his feelings in the only way he probably knew. The next time he tells you something like this why don’t you tell him that you’ll be friends with him???”

“But mama I don’t like him, I don’t want to be friends with him” cried Naina miserably.

“Naina, please don’t say things like that. All your classmates are your age & only if you be friends with them will you enjoy going to school.”

2 days later….

Naina gets off the school bus in a foul mood.

“He wants to be doctor” bursts out Naina as soon as we reach home.

“Who, what???” asks Mama confused.

“Teacher asked what we want to be when we grow up and Momataasim wants to be a doctor” cries Naina almost in tears.

“So” Mama looks befuddled.

“You know I want to be a nurse when I grow up & now with him going to be a doctor he’ll be irritating me all my life” wails Naina frustratedly.

The penny clicked and I started grinning automatically but quickly controlled my amusement coz I knew my daughter would not take kindly to my laughing at her predicament.

“Naina, there are so many hospital in Dubai, we’ll find out which hospital Momataasim works in and then we’ll choose another hospital for you to work”.

The tears cleared magically and she looked happier.

Later when I called Naina’s teacher up regarding some matter I enquired about the boy who was giving my daughter no peace. And what do u know, Momataasim according to her, was a smart little boy who stood first in class and participated in all the activities…..yes ofcourse he was naughty but then all boys that age were naughty weren’t they???

I was impressed & thought wryly that I knew something else which the teacher didn’t – he also had good taste in women.

A few days later….

“Mama you know what Momataasim did today, whenever I turned back to look he would place his hands around his mouth and whisper “I Love You” Nobody can hear it but I can make out.” said Naina irritatedly.

“Naina if he bothers you that much why do you turn back to look. Just ignore him” I told her sensibily.

Dont know why but I was beginning to get a bit edgy. Though I laughed & handled the Naina-Momataasin episodes casually, inwardly I was quite concerned. If they were teenagers I could understand the raging hormones and deal with it accordingly……no I don’t harbour hopes they’ll listen 100% but atleast the matter could be discussed. These are just 5 and 6 yrs old and they are exchanging conversations like this.

I am under no illusions about my kids……..though they are still untouched by the real ways of the world, they know far more than I did when I was their age. For instance, almost a year back on the way back home from the bustop they found a torn piece of pink cardboard[a toy wrapper I guess] which had www.barbie.com printed on it. They badgered me continuously for a week before I gave in & registered them there. They also know most of life's little problems can be solved by a webpage called Google. Now they tell me there is something called 'u-tube' which has all sorts of fun stuff which they can watch. As of now I have pronounced u-tube as unsafe, something which produces a dangerous virus which attack computers & renders them completely useless. Nikita smells a rat but is not confident enough to argue. But I know very soon that they’ll catch me out.

Children nowadays are exposed to a lot. And in my opinion the television is the main culprit…..the vividly coloured images of scantily dressed women & men gyrating to music, sports like WWE which encourage them into thinking punching eachother is cool, advertisements like fairness beauty-creams and a few biscuit ads are so suggestive that it sickens me. Dammit, its just a biscuit….there are so many ways to present it, what is the need to add a sensual angle to it. Makes me yearn for those Doordarshan days.

And it’s not like I let them watch anything & everything. They get 1 hr of tv suited to their age-group every other day but I’m quite disappointed that barring an odd one or two, I cannot watch a single English or Indian movie in their presence. Every film either has either embarrassing physical demonstrations of love or violence or ghosts or….the list goes on.

To a certain extent living in a safe place like UAE calms my fears. It’s an Islamic country  which lives by a moral code[far more relaxed than most] & expects all the people living in it to adhere to it. Many find it restricting but the average family finds it comforting. The crime rate is quite low compared to many countries, scenes containing nudity in movies are deleted, communication lines like the internet provide information freely but at the same time block a lot of unwanted sites. Ofcourse those who want to will find ways to access it but an average child will not be able to find it immediately.

Nurturing children in a safe and secure environment until they find their feet seems to me like an unrealistic dream. Ofcourse I’m not expecting a utopia kind of life and also know there is no point comparing it to our times....but is it so naive of me to expect a reasonably stree-free environment for my children.

But like they say, Change is the only constant thing in our lives. It’s not easy but we have to learn to deal with it as it comes. So deal with it, we will!!!!

Coming back to the worrying problem which set me off on this track….

Almost a week passed by and when there were no more complaints forthcoming, curiosity prompted me to ask…

“Is Momataasim behaving himself now???”

“Oh Taasim is ok Mama, he is actually very nice. I shared my mentos with him today” says Naina casually.

“Huh….when did Naina start calling him Taasim” wondered Mama nervously.

“How come you are saying nice things about him now???” I ask cautiously.

“He’s helping me do all my tests correctly. Shall I also tell him I love him Mama???”

I groped for the nearest chair and sank weakly into it.

“My class is so boring compared to Naina’s" Nikita’s voice wistfully floated from across the room

..
..

I know, I know this is just the beginning.

*his name is spelt differently but I’ve written it like how Naina pronounces it

Spreading some cheer:-))

~ A blog is a personal diary. A daily pulpit. A collaborative space. A political soapbox. A breaking-news outlet. A collection of links. Your own private thoughts. Memos to the world.
~ unknown blogger

When we[as in most of us:-)] decide to blog, in the beginning it is just for ourselves. A private place where we can let down our hair, write away our frustrations or give free rein to our thoughts. At the most we want our friends and kin to read what we write. As we explore further we realize if we stretched out a hand there is a wonderful world out there ready to receive us with open arms.

This is exactly what happened to me. Initially it was just about scribbling down some thoughts and incidents…. maybe the kids would love to know how mama was when she was younger, how the events in her life shaped her life, this way my family & friends who lived far away could be in touch with what was happening with me without me straining to write to everybody individually....u see the gains:-).

And then there was the fact that I always was interested in People, their lives, their thoughts…it was but natural to slowly start reaching out to other bloggers who had different viewpoints to share inturn opening up my mind and world.

And the rest as they say is history & lets leave it at that[meaning surely you wouldn’t want to waste time reading about it ONCE MORE]. Now, apart from the comments I love receiving I am also ecstatic about the awards I get. Lot of old-timers[Bloggers I mean] nowadays view these awards with jaundiced eyes & don’t quite believe in them anymore but for me they are all special. In real life I don’t think I ever came first or received awards for anything…no, no thts not true, I did come 1st in 1st standard and 2nd in the Lemon & Spoon race in the 3rd standard.

Ok thats it enough introduction, now coming straight to the point I thought I'd spread some cheer at the beginning of the year itself by giving away the lovely awards I received in 2009.

First things first, I want to thank my blogger-friends Athivas, Blunt edges, Colourmesunshine, Dil Se, Elegant Chic, Passionate Goof, Indianhomemaker , Lostworld , Nu, Rashworld, Shalom, Shayari, Swaram, Thethoughtfultrain, Titaxy for all these wonderful awards I have displayed below.

It gives me great pleasure to give away these awards to deserving bloggers as a token of my appreciation. I know I know I must sound like one of those pompous characters but it’s exactly what I feel……I love receiving awards but more importantly I adore giving them away. Initially I intended to write a few sentences about each blogger I was giving the awards to but gave that idea up half-way as this is a long post and it was taking me ages to just link each one of you.


The 1st award is the International Bloggers Community Award!!!!

"Be a proud member of the International Bloggers Community! " is their tagline.
The Award goes to:
Anjuli
Colours
Destination nowhere
Lakshmi
Nilu
Prabodh
Smita

Now the Rules say:
1. Link the person who tagged you.
2. Copy the image above, the rules and the questionnaire in this post.
3. Post this in one or all of your blogs.
4. Answer the four questions following these Rules.
5. Award this to 7 friends on your Blog list. 6. Go to BLoGGiSTa iNFo CoRNeR (PLEASE DO NOT CHANGE THIS LINK) at http://bloggistame.blogspot.com and leave the URL of your Post in order for you/your Blog to be added to the Master List.
7. Have Fun!
Questions & My Answers:
1. The person who tagged you: Thethoughtfultrain, the others who tagged me after her are Athivas, GoofyMumma and Shayari.
2. His/her site's title and url: http://thethoughtfultrain.wordpress.com/2009/06/
3. Date when you were tagged: 30th June 2009
4. Persons you award & tag are: displayed above __________________________________________________________
I’d like to award the One Lovely Blog Award to:
The Idle Devil
Jayasree
Deepti
Never Ending Memories
PinsNAshes
______________________________________________________________

"The Prémio Dardos is given for recognition of cultural, ethical, literary, and personal values transmitted in the form of creative and original writing. These stamps were created with the intention of promoting fraternization between bloggers, a way of showing affection and gratitude for work that adds value to the Web."

Awarding the Premio Dardos Award to...
Athivas
c'est la vie
Insignia
Nu
Roshni Mitra Chintalapati
___________________________________________________________


The Sweet Blogger Award is awarded to my favourite food bloggers...
Lan for Cheenachatti
Maria for Marias Menu
OpenBook for Look who's cooking too
Renu for Meri Rasoi
Shabs for Shab's Cuisine
_____________________________________________________________
The Blog Friends award goes to those blog-friends who are silent most of the time but when I write a really good post they never hesitate to tell me how much they liked it:-) ...

Archana Gawde
Cool_Moon
Divya
Doli
Pooja Mishra
Pujathakur
Saima
SandyaS
Sulo badri
The Girl from Lokhandwala
____________________________________________________________

The I Love your Blog Award goes to those bloggers who share information in a fun and interesting way. I enjoy reading whatever they post. Its a pity they dont post more often.
Anusha
Bikerdude
Jira
Ordinary Guy
Piper
Preethi
SGD
Spontaneous Mini
WannabeWriter
________________________________________________________________

The Superior Scribbler Award doesnt need any explanation:-). It goes to...
Wanderlust
Karmickids
Sindhu
Suma
Vivek Patwardhan

The rules that accompany this award are.

* Each Superior Scribbler must in turn pass The Award on to 5 most-deserving Bloggy Friends.
* Each Superior Scribbler must link to the author & the name of the blog from whom he/she has received The Award.
* Each Superior Scribbler must display The Award on his/her blog, and link to This Post, which explains The Award.
* Each Blogger who wins The Superior Scribbler Award must visit this post and add his/her name to the Mr. Linky List. That way, we'll be able to keep up-to-date on everyone who receives This Prestigious Honor!
* Each Superior Scribbler must post these rules on his/her blog.
_________________________________________________________

The ‘Triple Awards’ standing for "blogs of attitude and gratitude, a member of a proud sisterhood, and a best friend of all blogs" goes to all those bloggers with whom I feel a kinship even though I've never met them......sort of like whenever we meet, we are going to hit it off immediately:-)
The award goes to...
Meira
My space
Thethoughtfultrain
Rashmi
Sadiya
Shades of Grey
___________________________________________________________

The Award “Your Blog is Super” goes to those bloggers who are very popular & well-known in the blogging community. And they are...
Blunt edges
Hitch writer
Indianhomemaker
Indyeah
Smitha
Solilo
Swaram
_____________________________________________________________
The 'Awesome Blogger Buddy Award' goes to Indian Bloggers I know across the globe


And they are:
BlueMist from Portugal
Mathew from Germany
Deeps from Qatar
J P Joshi from India
Masood from UAE
Onlooker from Kuwait
Ramesh from China
Rohini from USA
Roopa from Indonesia
Snow from Canada
Sukku from Malaysia
Sunshine from Singapore
Swathy from Australia
Vinoo John from UK

I also want to award this to 3 bloggers who come to my page regularly from Asia-pacific, Holland, Manama-Bahrain, Montego Bay-Jamaica. I’d love it if you’ll introduce urself but if you wish to remain silent I’m fine with that too but please do accept the Award:-)).
______________________________________________________

The Superstar Award is very special to me and I’m awarding this to...
Dhanya - There is honesty in her writing......and clarity, I love the way she finds joy in everyday matters.
Kochu Thressiamma from Parel Tank - A seasoned blogger, who doesnt hesitate to pen what she thinks...and it could about anything from Politics to Michael Jackson to Education to Malayalam Cinema . She's made me cry & then laugh in the very next post.
Preethi Shenoy from Just a Motheroftwo - She writes thoughtful, meaningful posts about life. I love visiting her blog and always come away feeling inspired.
Shobhaa De - The way her thoughts flow through her fingers is amazing. Her tongue-in-cheek humour & pun-intended posts are my favourite though she can write about anything under the sun and make it sound interesting.
______________________________________________________________

The 'Kreativ Award' goes to all those Bloggers who share their creativity on their blog whether it is in the form of the amazing photographs they shoot or the beautiful Art they create.

And it goes to...
Colourmesunshine
G
Lee
Lostworld
Maddy
Sakshi
SJ
Sneo
Sriram
Titaxy
___________________________________________________________
The Honest Scrap Award comes with a tag and is awarded to all those bloggers whose openess shines thru their pages.


And it goes to…
Amrita
Anishthomas
Balvinder Singh
Brocasarea
J P Joshi
Passionate Goof
Roop
SV
Tara
Umsreflections

The rules are:
Tell your readers 10 things about you that they may or may not know, but are true.
Tag 10 people with the award, and be sure to let them know they’ve been tagged (a quick comment on their blog will do).
Link back to the blogger who tagged you.
_____________________________________________________________

The 'Blogger Friends Award' goes to bloggers I have had the pleasure of meeting[virtually i mean:-)] in the past year...
Ash
Ashwathy
BrAiN FrEEzE
Deep
Elegant Chic
Elizabeth
Jisha
Mads
Rekha
Tanushree Pillai
Varsh
______________________________________________________________
The Addicting Blog Award goes to all those bloggers whom I need no excuse to visit:-))


Agnes
Antarman
Butterfly
I scribble here
Prashanti
Rakesh
Shalom
Sparkling
Winnie
___________________________________________________
And the 'Butterfly Award' is a favourite award, one which I had already received the previous year but Swaram awarded it to me once again and so I’d like to award it to...

Chatterbox
Datsme
Dil Se
Enigma
Gayathri-vishwanathan
Sara
____________________________________________________________
And finally the Nameless Award which comes with a tag & I’m awarding it to bloggers who’ve taken an unofficial break. This is a gentle nudge from me to get them back to blogging. And it goes to...
Abraham Menacherry
DeeplyDip
Former Sansmerci
Limenlemons
Mystery
Shayari

The rules are:
Tell your readers 7 things about you that they don’t know about u but are true.
Tag 7 people with the award, and be sure to let them know they’ve been tagged.
Don’t forget to link back to the blogger who tagged you.

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Thats it folks!!!! Being slower than most people, it took me more than a week to put this together. I fervently hope I have mentioned everybody I know in the blog-world, if u dont see ur name please know that it was a genuine error. If u'll let just gimme a teeny-weeny hint I'll award u this Wonderfullest, Bestest Award that I have stashed away inside just for this purpose.
And not the least, CONGRATULATIONS everybody and a BIG Thank U to all of you for your amazing blogs and all the lovely comments + motivation this past year. I appreciate you all more than U'll ever know.


p.s: I'm going to start off here to all ur blogs to let u know that u've been awarded. Incase u reach this space before I reach ur blog, please claim ur Award and make it easy for me:-)).

p.p.s: If by any chance u have been awarded more than once, I swear it was not intentional;-D

I have been awarded these tags

Blunt Edges has awarded me with this original ‘Nameless award’ which comes with a tag. I'm supposed to list 7 things about myself that nobody knows.

And Dil se has tagged me with a 'Honest Scrap award' which says I have to write 10 honest things about me.

After 2 years of blogging I’m running out of original things to say but since I was combining 2 tags into one I thought hard and came up with these....

# I can withstand the biggest of shocks without reacting but the smallest of an ant bite can sometimes make me burst into tears.

# No matter how many times I come across ‘Hum Saath Saath hai’[Hindi movie] while channel-surfing I stop right there & watch the rest of the movie. Same goes for Hum Aapke Hai Kaun.

# I take ages to shop. I’m one of those undecided kinds. I frankly envy those people who can walk into a store, pick up something in 10-15 minutes and walk out with complete confidence that they got exactly what they were looking for.

# There is this friend I have with whom I share almost everything. Sometimes when I go thru a bad patch I deliberately don’t call her coz I know if I did I’ll end up telling her everything. The funny thing is that I have many other friends who I am more closer to and can control what I tell them but never with her.

# Very rarely have I cleaned my cupboard with the intention of cleaning my cupboard. Every 3-4 months I manage to misplace money or jewellery. And I ransack my cupboard trying to find it. I find it ofcourse & in the process my cupboard automatically gets cleaned. Nowdays when I have misplaced something I think wryly that the cupboard was looking messy anyways.

# Once I had gone to a book-store in Bangalore & asked for the book “The Achlemist”. The sales guy looked confused for a moment & so I asked once again loudly adding "by Paul Coelho". So many heads turned & looked at me & I wondered why. My friend Sapna who was following behind hissed “Idiot, its The Alchemist”.
People, I haven’t recovered from that gaffe yet.

# I try my best not to lie outright but have no qualms about twisting the truth. The better-half has now become very good at catching me at them.
“Did you take your medicine” he asks.
After a split second hesitation....
“Ofcourse I did” I say indignantly
“Did you take them this morning” he asks again
“Ofcourse I took them in the morning”
“Did you take them this morning”
“Don’t you believe me???” I ask with a wounded look.
“Don’t change the topic, I asked you whether you took them this morning”
“Heeee….. yesterday morning” I will say sheepishly.
Now that he smells them out its no fun anymore;-/

# I once called my uncle a “bloody fool” to his face…he had this habit of making fun of me infront of others. I got beaten up by my mother in front of the whole family for it. I regret it ofcourse but a small part of me still marvels at that timid teenager’s nerve.

# In school and college I was always found with a book in my hand. I was addicted so bad that my studies suffered. Unlike most parents, mine used to shout when they caught me reading. I used to read under the covers in torchlight, on the terrace, stay back at school & even bunk classes to complete a book. Today when I see my kids fascinated with books there is this uneasy feeling within me.

# At the best of times I am a bit dim, what you call a tube-light. Jokes, especially the ones with puns and double meaning just go over my head unless people stress on it. Infact some of the advertisements nowadays are just beyond my understanding…..I may understand the sequence but will not be able to make out how the product relates with the ad.

And it’s done. Phew, I think I’m getting too old to do these tags…saps the energy out of me.

Will be passing on these awards along with the others soon.

Leaving you with a quote……

Cheers to a new year and another chance for us to get it right. ~Oprah Winfrey

Guess who is on top of Santa's list this year!!!!

MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYBODY!!!!

A Love Marriage

Continued from here

The boy’s mother calls after an hour or two and my mum talks with her. After just 2-3 sentences about the previous evening they went on to discuss the weather and the neighbour’s sick dog. I loiter around in the background wondering what the heck was going on. Mum keeps the phone and looks at me sympathetically. It seems like the boy was not saying yes or no. The boy’s mother also was in a quandary here. But I knew what was going on. The boy didn’t want to make a scene by saying a straight No and so was hoping the situation would somehow resolve itself.

Boy’s mother calls the next day. She invites us for dinner the same night. The poor thing was quite keen to see it through and was making every effort towards it. I told my parents I was not interested[huh I too had my pride didn’t I] in going anywhere. Mum asked me to give it another chance. And I relented after making sure they knew I was least interested.

And so the 4 of us trooped into their house with a lovely bunch of flowers. The boy & family ushered us in graciously and we all sat down in the living room. While my father was making his apologies for not being there the previous day I picked up a magazine and was idly flicking through the pages. I was determined not to open my mouth until somebody spoke to me.

And then I hear my father say “Nancy was very disappointed that you didn’t speak to her before leaving yesterday. She is under the impression you are not interested in this proposal”. My father may look like a thin and frail old man but at his original best is like a bull in a china shop.

If the boy had been in the process of drinking something I’m sure he would have choked on it. Never in my wildest dreams did I think my father would embarrass me in this fashion. The magazine which I was holding automatically went up to cover my face and stayed there as I fervently wished for the earth to open up and embrace me into her kind depths. There was an awfully eerie silence which resounded thru the room[it could have been a nano second but it sure felt like eons to me].

When I didn’t hear anything I slowly lowered the magazine to peek over it and find the Boy looking at me with a wry expression. I guess everybody in the room must have been looking at me and laughing but I saw only his eyes. I have no clue what explanation he gave to defend his behaviour the previous evening coz I only heard the part where he asked to speak with me alone.

And so we walk out of the front door into the open parking space beside the house. He leaned casually against the gate and I on a bike and faced each other. I thought the farce went on long enough and was determined to clear the air.

“My parents and yours have the best of intentions but don’t let them force you into any kind of decision. Its ok if you want to back out” I say quietly.

There was a silence before he spoke. He seemed to weigh his words before speaking.

“If I had any kind of reservations I doubt this dinner would have taken place. I apologize for yesterday, it was a very tiring day.”
Then after a pause “I did ask my mother if your voice sounded like that all the time and she told me that you were not feeling well.” He said with a tiny smile playing around his lips. We did speak some more before going back in, some details about where he worked and the kind of role he played in his company.

He was leaving the next day, and I wondered if he’d call before leaving. He didn’t but I perked up when I was asked to drive him to the airport but alas no chance whatsoever to talk freely with the 2 mothers sitting at the back of the car listening avidly to whatever we were saying;-/. And so we exchanged email id’s and did small talk. Oh did I say he was arrogant……..nah….what’s a man without a bit of pride in his bearing:-).

The wedding was arranged for the last week of August and the engagement one week before that. He was busy with a project he had to complete before coming for the wedding and I was busy with my MA exams. He called me once a week and we mailed each other whenever we could. I still remember the 1st mail I got from him. It was a reply to the 1st mail I wrote to him 2-3 days before. At that point in time the internet & email were a big deal, we didn’t have a computer at home & there were no internet cafés at every corner like now. I had an exam the next day & couldn’t get out of the house.
My friend Sharitha was so thrilled about my first mail from would-be husband that she took my password from me and accessed my mail. She carefully took a printout and called me every 2 hours for the rest of the day to read it out to me. The mail itself was nothing special but for a sentence which hoped that the wedding would happen as soon as possible and the ‘love, Biju’ attached at the end[you see my 1st mail to him did not display any such feelings]. Sharitha would read out the last bit dramatically and both of us were so tickled for different reasons. Gosh I’m smiling now thinking about it but my eyes are stinging.

Our conversations through the phone were very casual but our mails were more intimate….not like intimate intimate but still very personal. He wrote 1 paragraph or two with great difficulty and I would send him 2 pages or more. Once I got really mad that he was not writing more & sent him a dry mail with just 1 para. He immediately understood and wrote back saying how much he loved what I wrote to him but unfortunately words didn’t come so easily to him. He called me twice that week to pacify me. I ofcourse melted like chocolate and resumed my lengthy letters.

We met again on the day of the engagement and smiled tentatively at eachother. The engagement which was held on a Sunday went off without incident & the wedding was scheduled for the next Sunday. That one week between the engagement and the wedding are days which I will remember vividly for the rest of my life. Everyday we would get off early in the morning from home on pretext of some work or the other and spend the day together doing all the jobs on our list. Somedays his sister tagged along acting like a kebab mein haddi……..ummm actually we tagged along behind her while she strode ahead and got everything organized. She logically and methodically prearranged everything taking more than half the burden upon herself giving us time to spend with eachother though I doubt she was aware of that. Bins,…..thanks, once again:-))!!!!!

Those 6 days were some of the best days of my life. I had finally fallen in love. An emotion I had seen almost all my friends succumb to, an emotion which I thought was quite over-rated and a feeling I wondered if I would ever experience. We spoke a lot, at times were quiet too, sometimes gently teased each other….he thought I drove too fast, I thought he spoke too less, he ordered apple pie for me I called the waiter back and changed it to chocolate milkshake. My heart stopped whenever his hands brushed against mine, much as I wanted the hand to remain there I would move away after a few seconds not quite sure why I feared the feelings when I was technically not doing anything wrong. I was engaged, right!!!! Anyways he didn’t push me at all, was just content to spend time with me and I loved him all the more for that.

On the last day before the wedding ie Saturday we had to go to church together for a small counseling session and confession before we entered into Holy matrimony. It was a very solemn occasion which brought home to me that my life was going to be changed forever from the next day. A new home, a different life-style, adjustments, and responsibilities were just the beginning to a role which was going to last for a life-time.

It was raining while I was driving back towards his house to drop him off. Very little conversation happened with each of us involved in our own thoughts. Around 1/2 way home we decided it was pouring too heavily and parked on a lonely stretch for the rain to ease off. An uneasy silence followed:

“Will you let me kiss u” asks boy quietly.

I looked at him stunned. Bloody hell, here I was thinking that he too was shaken after the session we had with the priest, about how we were bound to eachother for the rest of our lives, how we were going to responsible for eachother and all this while he was plotting to kiss me.

I looked away and stared straight out of the windshield refusing to look at him. I was so scared that I could hear my heartbeats reverberating inside the car.

“How about on the cheek then” he didn’t give up.

I didn’t give any indication that I heard him at all. In my mind I was contemplating opening the car door and running all the way back home in the rain. Only the fact that my father would not let me into the house without his precious car kept me there.

There was a heavy sigh from beside me “Ok, let’s just hold hands then”. And my lips started quivering.........I suddenly saw the funny side to the whole incident. I looked sideways at him and found his eyes dancing with amusement. And we burst out laughing.

Drawing confidence from the moment I bravely put my hand out palm up. He also puts his hand out palm up and tells me that a woman must first allow the man to hold his hand out and then place her hand palm down and accept it. Feeling like an idiot I withdraw my hand and place it carefully palm down in his large hand. And we sat quietly hand in hand waiting for the rain to stop.

Its been 10 years now and there’s never a day when I don’t thank the good Lord for my companion. We may have our differences and everything may not be hunky-dory all the time but the Love thankfully has deepened and is stronger than ever. Many of you wondered whether my anniversary was coming up as a reason for this unusually soppy post..….nope my anniversary was in August and I remember trying to post something special but the words wouldn’t come.

After 2 years of blogging I’ve realized that I have no real control over what I post..….I could be planning to put up a post about the moon but after 2 pages I delete the whole post retaining only the parts where I mention the sun & end up posting that. Even here I was planning to do a post about arranged marriages in India intending to mention my marriage as an example on Christian marriages and it ended up like this.

Leaving you with a picture which was taken a few days after the wedding. With this I have kept my promise to all of you who wanted a face to associate with Reflections:-).
Though I have to warn you that there is a world of difference between the way I looked then and how I look now. The better-half has managed to age very gracefully whereas I have literally gone to pot. The very reason I took so long is I had this ambitious plan wherein I was hoping to lose around 10kgs of weight and display an attractive picture of a slimmer me……..but now I realise pigs will fly faster.
So if you see a short, fat and unsightly woman waddling upto u at some bloggers meet don’t complain you weren’t adequately warned.

I do hope u realise how much thinking happened before I decided to post this picture but a promise is a promise. Now I will hold you to your word[u know who u r]…..if you are hesitant about putting it up on your blog, send it to me by mail. It will be great to see the face behind the blogs I read:-).